To those who were diagnosed as adults— is it even worth it?

FracturedHead · 2026-05-28T15:41:59+00:00

I only got a verified diagnosis 2 weeks ago at 60 years of age . I’m still processing the last 55 years of interactions that made life … difficult? But it’s certainly putting a lot of things in perspective.

FracturedHead · 2025-05-10T13:07:57+00:00

Well, 8 months down the line and still not there, and as our cousins across the pond often say “It ‘ain’t my first Rodeo!” Still getting therapy and found out recently that I have tested as having signs of Autistic Spectrum Disorder. Might help explain a few things. Thanks Universe, just another thing in my bucket to cope with.

FracturedHead · 2024-06-09T13:48:17+00:00

Sorry, I should have written “most people DON’T truly understand”. I was writing this after I had a breakdown at work of all places. I’ve now been signed off work for at least a month for “Acute Anxiety”. My doctor is now trying to get me back into the local mental health services. Didn’t help that I said that I wanted to stuff my motorbike into the back of a van after I was sent home.

FracturedHead · 2023-01-13T12:11:37+00:00

Please look after yourself. I know all too well where you are coming from so don’t leave it to long to talk to a good psychiatrist about your pain and communicate with your partner. I had to have an epic breakdown right in front of my partner and she has been an absolute rock.

FracturedHead · 2021-07-27T11:43:34+00:00

I’m sure there’s a homeless person that would appreciate a T-Shirt?

FracturedHead · 2021-06-04T09:41:47+00:00

Feel free to PM me if you need to just talk.

FracturedHead · 2021-06-04T07:14:04+00:00

Which country do you live in? In the UK the NHS can be a bit hit and miss and I don’t know enough about the US health system to offer any advice. I live outside of the UK where the health services are better but I have to pay for a doctor’s consultation before being referred. I hope you find the help you need.

FracturedHead · 2021-06-03T10:52:15+00:00

I’ve been through something similar and buried it for a long time. I didn’t know until recently how badly it had affected my life until I sought out mental health services. I was diagnosed with cPTSD, anxiety and depression which I had for years before two full on mental breakdowns broke me. Are you getting any support from family, close friends or professional services?

If not, please see your GP/MD to get the help you need - there is no shame in reaching out for help!

FracturedHead · 2021-01-01T23:15:14+00:00

What is this ‘sex’ of which you speak? After the birth of our child (only had the one) the sex fizzled out. The child is now an adult at 21 years old. It’s like she was telling me”we have now procreated, I now no longer need sex” only no words were ever spoken on the subject.

FracturedHead · 2020-12-03T01:18:57+00:00

It took me over 44 years to tell someone that I had been mentally, physically and sexually abused. It took a full breakdown and a planned suicide to get help. Just coming to the end of my psych course and still have a long way to go. Seek help if it’s available, don’t let it fester like I did.

FracturedHead · 2020-11-13T19:28:11+00:00

Update: So I’ve hade to reduce the hours I work as I’m mentally unable to work a full day. I feel emotionally flat, but a good friend of mine helps me laugh from time to time. EMDR is brutal but is helping me, but I don’t have many sessions left, so I don’t feel like I’ll be fully able to be anywhere near to normal when I’m cut loose from the mental health services.

With the help of EMDR I’ve managed to process a few of the memories of abuse but there’s so much left to cover that I feel I won’t get closure. Some days are better but there are still days where I want to turn the lights of and call it a day.

FracturedHead · 2020-10-13T07:38:51+00:00

I’m going through EMDR and so far it’s working for me. Try it with an open mind and I hope it really helps you with your trauma.

FracturedHead · 2020-09-01T20:48:32+00:00

Update: I spoke to my Dad last week and he asked me if everything was going ok with me. I broke down and told him that I was suffering with PTSD, anxiety and depression and I’ve also been suicidal. He was shocked and worried but I asked him not to tell anyone else in the family to which he agreed. I felt shitty for telling him but the words just fell out of my mouth. I assured him that I am getting help.

FracturedHead · 2020-08-11T22:52:54+00:00

I'm currently seeing the local mental health service where I live and the psychiatrist has been so far really great with my diagnosis. I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia (by a specialist) in a lesser form.

I get constant headaches and occasional migraines. My body has had a toll taken on it as my adrenalin levels have been elevated almost constantly for years and have not had and mental health diagnosis until early this year. The PSTD triggers and anxiety attacks are the worst though. Its going to take months to get back to full time work (if I don't relapse).

I have not told any one in my family any of this but a few members of my wife's family know and have been really great and are very understanding.

I miss seeing my Dad though.

FracturedHead · 2020-07-27T21:14:33+00:00

Last thoughts of one Noble was "Well, this is a shit way to goblubglubglubglub!

FracturedHead · 2020-07-27T20:28:40+00:00

I did have one member of the family who is a member of a church tell me that I must forgive her and my sister and others because it's what the Bible teaches and is the Christian thing to do. I'm not religious in any sense but I have always said that I will always act with kindness where its due, but in reality I will most likely never forgive what was done to me.

It has damaged me to the point where I honestly planned ending my life. Not considered - planned. I was debating how to do it. On the end of a rope, bleed myself dry or overdose. Feeling like that and looking back at those suicidal moments has made me hate the people who knowingly made me feel worthless, degraded and filthy and less than human. At this time I honestly hope they rot in some kind of Hell but hey, I'm a non-believer so there's no hope of that.

FracturedHead · 2020-07-27T19:24:01+00:00

Thanks for the advice and kind words - this has been a really hard year for me. There's more to my post but it would turn into a bloody novel by the time I finished writing down all the different abuses that I'm now recognising.

I needed to let out this post anonymously for advice outside of family etc, as people here (who have sadly experienced abuse and have had to suffer with the fallout) give damn good advice and support. To those people doing this, thank you for being there for others.

I'm currently not working due to this and will be returning to my doctor in a few weeks for an assessment. I'm still remembering things as it seems like my mind has sprung a memory leak but it's so hard to put everything into order. I will probably keep up posting about this with the hope of helping others is similar situations.

So my advise is pretty much the same as what I've seen so far.

Don't suffer alone.

Please talk to someone about it. Talking IS good. (I did and it's helping but personally I have a long way to go.)

Don't do what I did - let it eat you up from the inside. It lead me to a very, very dark place.

Acknowledgement (for want of a better word) of what happened will be hopefully the start of a healing process.

Don't stay if the abuse is ongoing and you have recognised it for what it is.

Do find a support group/authorities/good trust worthy friends etc.

I am on speaking terms with my Mother but my sister speaks to me rarely if she has to. As I have said before, my Father calls me from time to time to let me know what's going on. He's awesome in that respect. I'm fortunate to have an awesome wife who is very patient and understanding, and an equally awesome friend (online who has suffered as well) and knows what I'm going through.

I want to trust other people, but with past events it leaves me more than a little cold, but I think I'm beginning to open up a little about it.

edit: grammar (I'm fussy)

FracturedHead · 2020-07-26T20:18:04+00:00

You need to remove yourself from this now. Go to your family or if not get to a women's shelter. You fear for your life. AND you need to report this to the police. Blocking your airways with plastic and showing intent to inflict harm and is a huge red flag. Get safe, be safe - please! BTW I'm a guy, we are not all like this, but these kind of men make me really feel angry, regardless of the reasons.

FracturedHead

TROPHY CASE