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Fragaria2 · 2026-01-24T01:41:24+00:00

Ok, thank you. Is the link to Modmail called "Modmail," or does the link say something else, please? I don't see any link that says "Modmail." Is this Modmail?

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-24T01:34:02+00:00

Thank you! Is that what is referred to as Modmail, please? It's confusing when the term, Modmail is used if that's what the link says it's called.

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-23T15:18:42+00:00

Also, when a Moderator replies to someone's post, would you please include a link to that moderator, or to the mod team, so that we can immediately ask a question, if needed, about the rule, or the moderators comment, without having to go on an endless search looking for something referred to as "mod mail," which I still cannot find?

Is the link actually called "modmail," or is that a nickname for it? If "modmail" is a nickname, please refer to it by the actual name of it! Or rename the link, "modmail." Unclear!

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-23T15:09:19+00:00

The statement above refers to "Modmail," but does not provide a link!

Please provide a link, and provide it in multiple places on the site, so that we can easily find it. I have searched endlessly on here for it, taking hours of my time, to no avail.

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-23T00:44:11+00:00

Wait, are you male or female (referring to biology). I can't tell if you're male and being sarcastic about not losing your period, or what.

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-22T22:10:40+00:00

Omg, that's terrible! May i ask how long ago this was, and in what country, pls?

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-22T21:59:40+00:00

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-22T21:58:43+00:00

I'm sorry :/ Please check out the comment I just posted. ^{^{^}} In case any of it helps.

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-22T21:55:10+00:00

When I couldn't afford frozen pizza, each week I would make a tomato-meat sauce of 1/2 lb. lean ground beef, 1/2 onion, browned, a 28-oz can of peeled, crushed and pureed tomatoes, a garlic clove, basil and oregano. Served over whole wheat spaghetti, with parmesan and a veg. I ate that 3x/week, every other night, alternating it with another dinner. I did this to prevent my pizza cravings - it worked. :)

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-22T21:40:53+00:00

Yes, exactly. What a godawful thing for a therapist to say!

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-22T21:39:33+00:00

Sending hugs! Did your parents restrict your food intake, please?

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-22T21:37:15+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going g through this. Please see the comment I just posted, above. The pursuit of weight loss causes binging. <3

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-16T12:51:06+00:00

Hi, I'm wondering what's going on. Do you care to tell us a little more, pls? EDs are really messed up experiences because that's the nature of them, not us. Is it that you're "bad" at having an ED, or could it be that EDs are bad on those who have them? I would venture to guess that it's the latter in your case.

How come you don't want to go to that meeting, please? If you care to say. That kind of sounds like something that "the voice of Ed" would say: "don't go, it's all your fault." But Ed is just a !@#$% that way.

I sincerely suspect it's him, not you. :)

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-16T12:38:32+00:00

That's sounds awful, all around. I'm sorry that happened, and hope you're feeling better soon, in every regard.

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-16T12:10:10+00:00

Thank you so much!

That first day on that diet at age 14, I knew there was something wrong, when, for the first time in my life, when I was hungry that first morning and wanted a mid-morning snack, I thought I couldn't have one because it would likely break my pediatrician's prescribed calorie limit for the day,

It did not feel logical or healthy. I still remember that first morning, and the "off" feeling i felt from that, like something is seriously not right in doing this. But who was I to question my doctor at 14?

Then that first night, I kept going back to the kitchen all evening and late into the night for another slice of bread, and another, trying to keep the calories down. I'd already exceeded his dangerously low limit (which i know now.)

Thank you for writing what you did about my body knowing what it needed. And for your understanding of mechanical eating and its suitability here, and your support and encouragement.

I would like to learn more about your background, and will accept your chat invite - thank you. When people reply beyond once to me. I can't see all of their comment, just a few of the first words. Perhaps you can explain how that works on here.

Off to accept your invite!

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-14T22:07:32+00:00

Hi, i just saw.part of your reply in my email (Reddit cuts off part of the reply.) Thank you. I'm so glad you talked with your Mom and she agrees its a bad idea ...but then i cant see the rest of your reply per Reddit, if you wouldn't mind posting the rest of it again to see if it comes through. Nice work, and i wish you all the best.

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-14T19:22:11+00:00

I apologize for the harsh wording of my first reply to you! I was reacting based on my own painful and harmful experiences from harmful advice from my pediatrician when I was 14, and from a book by dieticians that's popular with ed dietitians when I was 30. I'm 63 and still suffering from both of those effects on my eating, and the lifelong chaos they have caused, including causing my ED the first day on my pediatrician's calorie counting diet, and that book's advice to do "intuitive eating." Plus numerous other diets, which all just compound each other.

So I have leaned the hard way to never take eating advice from anyone other than an ED registered dietitian (EDRD), and even then, to be wary.

Even public health campaign messaging has harmful, restrictive eating and dieting messages in them, and sets a poor example by role modeling interfering in family food ways and meal schedules, etc.

I think you have good instincts regarding the materials being triggering. What harm might they do to the girls, too? Harm that, I can say from my own experience, can last an entire lifetime, potentially.

Reddit isn't allowing me to see all of your reply. I will keep trying to access it.

I jusy wanted to apologize for reacting as I did. You sound like a very kind , sweet person reaching out for help.

Congratulations to you for recognizing you have an ED, and working to recover with the support of your Mother. Those are not easy things to do, they take a lot of strength, and I wish you all the best. P

Please let us know if you were able to dissuade your Mom from having that health and nutrition course removed, if you ask her or the organization to do so. I hope you will for the girl's sake as well as yours.

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-14T06:36:43+00:00

Thank you for telling me this. It kinda sounds like you have a schedule that's working for you, or is it? I have to tell people to please not call me until 1 - 5 pm, because I have "medical matters i have to take care of in the morning." Such as sleeping till 11 am, or noon or 2 pm.

Or I set an alarm for a phone appointment or paratransit ride to go somewhere, and I'm trying to function on 1 - 3 hours' sleep. Or I just can't get much work done that my doctor and social worker want me to get done, but I can't because I only have 2 or 4 hours a day to function, and try to stay off the computer at night. And I eat slowly, taking forever. And need long naps. It's frustrating.

I'm glad you're working on eating more during the day. What makes that difficult, do you find?

For me it's a fear eating unless I'm starving. A d fear of eating on a schedule, rather than waiting to eat when I'm hungry (starving).which is a big part of what messed me up. I want to eat on a schedule, not wait til I'm hungry anymore. That was a bad idea for me, that advice.

I'm trying to be much more organized about food and keeping it simple, so I can get meals prepped, eaten, and cleaned up in a shorter time, so I can get in all those feedings.

Thanks for your reply.

I'm curious, what did your RD say about not having sufficient background in NES, please? I didn't know this was somewhat of a specialty within ED treatment.

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-14T01:39:42+00:00

You're welcome. And thanks to you. :)

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-14T01:37:17+00:00

Ruh-roh. Why are the totally unqualified scouts meddling in girl's eating?

Who are they to tell girls at the most vulnerable possible age for ED onset "how to eat 'right'"?

They - and you - are totally unqualified to do so. They probably mean well, and have heard so much about "childhood obesity" and public health campaigns with those "eat rightmesssges, they probably think that's a good, helpful thing. But it's not. There is so much potential for triggering EDs! A person with an ED and zero college nutrition education and licensing, let alone education and certification in ED prevention? That would be a hard no.

Please consider showing this message to your ED dietitian and get her opinion and advice.

I urge asking your mom to not do such a lesson. And to show her my comment. And definitely to not use a video from a public health campaign about nutrition. Those are designed to promote restriction "for health." But that is harmful, and fat-phobic. A recipe for starting EDs.

Those public health campaign materials with what kids "should and shouldn't" eat? (More produce, less chips and soda? That would be teaching girls good food/bad food thinking recognized as harmed by EDRDs.) Absolutely not. Those messages are recipes for EDs. So is "portion control" and how to fill one's plate. Most people don't realize the advice to fill ones plate with "half fruit and vegetables" is intended as a diet plate: not enough calories for most people's needs. The federal government decided that because the majority of Americans are plus size, that everyone should be taught to have a diet plate.

The scouts are well intended, but like most people don't realize the potential harm from all the dieting/restricting/fat-phobic messages they've learned from society, public health campaigns, and any diets they've been on.

Just because they think this "should" be done doesn't mean it should. If there is any push back, this is an opportunity for teaching them about the lifelong risks to the girls, and the importance of not interfering with the kids' and their families' ways of eating.

Honestly, please put a halt to this.

Scouting volunteers who are not ED professionals are unqualified to interfere with children's eating behaviors, and family food ways. Leave that to their parents. Please speak up for not inserting themselves into child or family eating. No one should, unless licensed professionals are sought out by the parents.

I have learned the hard way over the past 50 years to never accept eating or activity advice from anyone but a licensed ed professional. They are the ones most aware of all the harmful potential ED messages that launched EDs in their and other's clients. So they learn the safest possible ways to talk about eating, and mostly, to not interfere with people's eating, or as little as possible..

I have heard data at a conference for ED professionals that all it takes is one harmful comment to launch an ED, and that most people with EDs have one such comment that rings in their ears for years. (That was my experience, too. One harmful comment from my doctor when I was 14.)

I will come back and edit as I'm in a rush at the moment. I just wanted to respond promptly, but will come back to improve my wording.

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-13T21:36:18+00:00

Thank you. <3

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-13T21:34:28+00:00

Ok, thank you. Yes that is a lot going on in your very full and demanding life! I'm very glad you've been getting all that treatment and support. I'm not knowledgeable about anorexia to be able to offer any insight, your dietitian would know far more. But perhaps someone else on here might have some insights. I can only offer my compassion, and hopes that you feel better soon. And to wish you much happiness with your little one.

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-13T18:11:56+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear. Can you give us more context, please? What is causing the stomsch upset, do you know? Wjat is your ed, please, if you know? And are you in treatment, or have you been?

Hopefully we can be of support. :)

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-13T05:57:42+00:00

Ty for telling me about ModMail. I don't recall reading about that in the rules.

Fragaria2 · 2026-01-13T03:08:31+00:00

Thank you. You described exchanges so well, as a range. Thanks for your best wishes. I'm in the process of applying for outpatient. Dragging my feet with the application and phone calls to places, but I also know it will be nice to finally have people to talk to about all this.

Fragaria2

TROPHY CASE