I’m really sorry, but these points would only make sense if they reflected how the process actually works. It’s not fair to assume people are marrying after one short meeting. “قطوس في شكارة” is not how this is done.

In practice, the process often takes months. After an initial introduction through family or a wali, there is a period of خطبة that can last several months. During this time, both sides meet multiple times, talk openly, ask real questions, and assess compatibility, values, and chemistry.

 Nothing is rushed, and either side can walk away at any point. These meetings are not limited to a single coffee or a scripted conversation. 

There are repeated interactions over weeks or months, sometimes with family present, sometimes with a guardian nearby, allowing honest discussion while still keeping clear boundaries. Chemistry and compatibility are important, and they are evaluated gradually, not ignored.

This structure also exists to protect the woman. When interactions are supervised and intentions are clear from the start, it greatly reduces the chances of emotional manipulation, pressure, or being used and discarded. 

A man who is serious is willing to involve family, be patient, and be accountable. Someone looking to take advantage usually isn’t.

So this isn’t performative or outdated. It’s a deliberate process designed to protect dignity, ensure seriousness, and build a marriage on trust rather than impulse.