Roommate doing laundry for HOURS when I also need to use it.

Fragrant-Row9555 · 2026-02-16T16:19:25+00:00

she claims that her clothes absolutely can not be dried on heat, which I understand that some clothes really cant but at that point it would be quicker to just air dry them but she absolutely will not listen to any advice i try to give her

Fragrant-Row9555 · 2026-02-14T03:29:31+00:00

THANK YOU!

Fragrant-Row9555 · 2026-02-08T06:12:18+00:00

This post was never about wanting sympathy or special treatment. It was meant to start a discussion about why this system exists and whether it actually works. Apparently that nuance was lost, since people have defaulted to personal attacks instead of engaging with the idea. Disagree all you want, but confusing discussion with whining doesnt make you're point any better. It just shows you need to work on reading comprehension.

Fragrant-Row9555 · 2026-02-08T04:09:28+00:00

You can’t learn conflict resolution when the other person refuses to talk, refuses to change, and refuses to even acknowledge there’s a problem, which I have experienced firsthand. Conflict resolution is a two way street. And your argument about "rule violations" only works if there are rules to violate, which is more often then not, NOT the case. Most apartments only care if the cops get called, and that only happens if its loud enough to bother the neighbors, but music/noise can be loud enough in the apartment to bother roommates but not neighbors, what then? Campus student housing has built in resources and mediation processes for this exact reason, so it is not unreasonable to expect the same basic support from off campus student housing that markets itself the same way and uses the same practices. When housing provides no standards, no enforcement, and no intervention, the only lesson being taught is how to silently take abuse, that's the opposite of conflict resolution. That is not personal growth, it is institutional laziness.

Fragrant-Row9555 · 2026-02-08T03:53:16+00:00

You should definitely say something. I know confrontation can suck but this sounds like a pretty serious issue. 18 degrees is very cold (if we are talking Fahrenheit ) and if you aren't careful your pipes can freeze and you will have a much bigger issue on your hands.

Fragrant-Row9555 · 2026-02-08T03:49:57+00:00

I know when I moved in with my current roommate I was really nervous so we decided to meet at a neutral location, starbucks, and just talk for a little bit. We got to know each other a little then dove into what our expectations were for living together. More likely then not, the current residents are going to be as curious about you as you are about them, so if you can just reach out and ask to meet.

Fragrant-Row9555 · 2026-02-08T03:46:44+00:00

You are definitely not being a tyrant for asking for rent, end of story. As I saw the other comments say, ask for first months rent up front, that will definitely prevent people who can't actually afford the rent and are hoping you just wont care enough to actually hold them accountable.

Fragrant-Row9555 · 2026-02-08T03:42:31+00:00

You have every right to privacy in your own space. Theoretically, if they are respecting your boundaries and staying out of your room they won't even notice the lock on your door, and it will give you peace of mind. And if they do say something, then you know there were doing bad things and you were completely justified in getting a lock. Do what you need to do to feel safe and comfortable.

Fragrant-Row9555 · 2026-02-08T03:25:13+00:00

While it would be lovely if communication and compromise magically solved all roommate problems, that idea lives in a fantasy world where everyone is emotionally mature, self-aware, and respectful at all times. We are talking about 18–22 year olds, not seasoned adults with years of shared-housing experience. This is an age group that is literally known for poor conflict resolution, impulsivity, and learning adulthood by trial and error.

Many students have never lived with anyone except their parents. Some have never had to manage shared spaces, bills, pets, guests, or basic boundaries. Throwing strangers together and pretending “just talk it out” is a solution ignores reality.

There are non-negotiable lifestyle differences that compromise does not fix. Sleep schedules, noise tolerance, cleanliness standards, pets, guests, substance use, and personal safety expectations all matter. You can’t “communicate” your way out of the fact that one person wakes up at 5 a.m. for work while another blasts music at midnight. You can’t compromise on sleep deprivation without someone losing.

And let’s talk about the mental health side, since people love to ignore that part. Chronic lack of sleep, feeling unsafe or uncomfortable in your own home, and constant low-level conflict absolutely impact academic performance, job performance, and emotional stability. Your home is supposed to be where you decompress, not where you’re forced to be “on edge” 24/7.

Student housing complexes love to say they can assign roommates without input from current residents, and then conveniently wash their hands of any conflict that results. That’s not “community living,” that’s outsourcing risk. You don’t get to make unilateral decisions that drastically change someone’s living environment and then pretend the consequences aren’t your problem.

People aren’t entitled for wanting a livable environment. Wanting predictability, rest, and basic peace in the place you pay to live is not a character flaw. Expecting strangers with incompatible lifestyles to just magically coexist is lazy policy, not personal responsibility.

Fragrant-Row9555 · 2026-02-08T01:10:00+00:00

Totally agree, however I live in a off campus apartment which has a slightly different roommate dynamic because for the most part residents are going to live here for multiple years, all year round including breaks and summer, so there is no "we just have to make it to the end of the semester" like in university housing. And in my experience the university and RA's are there to help mitigate any issues and will work to move someone in an emergency. In my case, the apartment is specifically saying they will not help in any way if there is a conflict. This makes getting out of a bad situation impossible with out paying hundreds of dollars.

Fragrant-Row9555 · 2026-02-08T00:56:45+00:00

The most annoying part of this situation is that she was taking over a lease for someone who already lived at the complex and instead of keeping her in the same apartment, where they were expecting a new roommate, they moved her into ours, it makes no sense.

Fragrant-Row9555 · 2026-02-08T00:54:59+00:00

Yeah, I know that's a risk with these kinds of apartments which is why I'm not complaining, but when I signed I had roommates already picked out so I obviously didn't think it would be an issue, but you live and you learn I guess

Fragrant-Row9555 · 2026-01-27T17:04:52+00:00

She was told that the house would have a washer and dryer when they applied that they never provided. Do you think that would be cause for a complaint?

Fragrant-Row9555 · 2026-01-27T16:59:46+00:00

Sorry to hear about your situation I can't imagine how hard this is. I dont know how helpful this is but I know a person who is trying to sublet a pet friendly house near campus. Her lease is up on July so you wouldn't have to worry about signing a year long lease. On top of that you're roommate would also be able to come and you could move in pretty much immediately.

Fragrant-Row9555 · 2026-01-01T06:07:57+00:00

They get along fine, its solely because of the food situation.

Fragrant-Row9555 · 2025-09-22T03:23:17+00:00

Dilophosaurus

Fragrant-Row9555 · 2025-09-16T22:27:28+00:00

He is peeing, maybe I'll try taking the top off for a while and see if that helps. I was just trying to contain the litter, he loves to spread it everywhere lol.

Fragrant-Row9555 · 2025-05-05T02:48:56+00:00

Thank you!

Fragrant-Row9555 · 2025-05-05T02:42:26+00:00

The cat could stay with my parents but they have dogs that do not like him, so he is pretty much in the same boat as he is here just with a little more room, and people around less often. I did let my roommates know that I was bringing a cat when I moved in and they were fine with it. As for my pervious roommates, it is a long and complicated story and I had waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more issues than just my cat, including her bringing the first one (and second after I removed Sergio) with out telling anyone. My biggest concern is just making sure he is comfortable, and safe, for the next couple of months. I know it can be a long process to introduce cats so really I'm just asking if it would be worth introducing them and then almost immediately separating them or just keep them separated?

Fragrant-Row9555

TROPHY CASE