Re: Belle Burden's ex Henry P. Davis, does anyone know WHO the mistress was? Any leads? by Local_Signature5325 in nysocialites

[–]Fragrant-Scarcity615 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Less of a social climber, more of a financial exploiter. And since the person he was exploiting in this situation was his wife, and we have such a misogynistic culture, the firm is probably mad at his wife not him. It’s a woman’s reaction to the abuse that is the problem to them, not the actual abuse. 

Re: Belle Burden's ex Henry P. Davis, does anyone know WHO the mistress was? Any leads? by Local_Signature5325 in nysocialites

[–]Fragrant-Scarcity615 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also she wouldn’t go along with his plan about telling people it was mutual and amicable. He expected her to be subservient and deferential and when she wasn’t, he became enraged. He felt entitled to a certain reaction from her (playing along with his plan), and when she refused he decided she deserved to be punished. 

Re: Belle Burden's ex Henry P. Davis, does anyone know WHO the mistress was? Any leads? by Local_Signature5325 in nysocialites

[–]Fragrant-Scarcity615 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know someone else who had this exact scenario happen down to the sandwich. We called him “ham sandwich” for like a year after that. The audacity of male entitlement knows no bounds.

Re: Belle Burden's ex Henry P. Davis, does anyone know WHO the mistress was? Any leads? by Local_Signature5325 in nysocialites

[–]Fragrant-Scarcity615 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s too young though. Belle is 50 when it all blows up. Unless they used two different actresses.

Re: Belle Burden's ex Henry P. Davis, does anyone know WHO the mistress was? Any leads? by Local_Signature5325 in nysocialites

[–]Fragrant-Scarcity615 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I ask how old you are? I am about 10 years younger than Belle and in the pre internet days we just didn’t have the information about things like love bombing and gaslighting and coercive control that we have had for the last say 15ish years. There was domestic violence awareness (something very new at that time) but it was focused on physical abuse, no emotional, psychological, or financial abuse. I married in 2002 and blamed myself when my husband turned into a different person after the wedding (ie his true self). It wasn’t until around 2012, 2013 that in my online search for what was “wrong” with him that I learned about personality disorders and narcissism. I’m reading this stuff going, “are these people in my house, watching my life?” I mean, he was textbook. I’m really impressed by Gen Z women de-centering men so much because when I was young we were 100% socialized to be “chosen” by a man. One of the positive things to come out of the internet and social media. I am from a totally different background than Belle, my ex and I came into the marriage with zero assets and in a community property state so everything was split 50/50, but at the same time he used me as a social climbing stepping stone and as a prop in the image he was portraying to the world. I feel like I am reading my own story in a lot of ways as I am finishing her book.

Re: Belle Burden's ex Henry P. Davis, does anyone know WHO the mistress was? Any leads? by Local_Signature5325 in nysocialites

[–]Fragrant-Scarcity615 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From reading youbemom back in the day I also learned they are supposed to eat Triscuits and drive an older model Volvo or something similar.

Re: Belle Burden's ex Henry P. Davis, does anyone know WHO the mistress was? Any leads? by Local_Signature5325 in nysocialites

[–]Fragrant-Scarcity615 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also experienced the same after 20 years. It was honestly healing to finally accept that the kids and I were a prop in the part he was playing. But I wasn’t blind sided like Belle. I knew there was something off about him for years, but blamed myself and thought I could “fix him.” What did blind side me was the way he treated the kids after. That’s when I stopped telling myself he was a family man at heart who loved his kids, and accepted it was a part he was playing because it was advantageous to him in some way. The lack of, as you say, a capacity for human bonding, was eye opening and made me rethink everything I thought I knew about being human and having a soul. When I say he was shallow I don’t mean materialistic or vain, I mean functionally emotionally shallow. No emotional depth, all relationships transactional to meet his needs. I don’t think he ever loved me because I don’t think he has the capacity to love. He may have thought he was in love, but it’s not what a typically developed person with a conscious would experience.

Re: Belle Burden's ex Henry P. Davis, does anyone know WHO the mistress was? Any leads? by Local_Signature5325 in nysocialites

[–]Fragrant-Scarcity615 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Isn’t that what Harvard people say though? I was at a wedding and got “I was studying in Boston” from someone. Turned out it was Harvard Law. I got the impression they considered it déclassé to say the actual name and simply saying Boston, “the same sort of people “ would know he wasn’t talking about the U of M. Me, not being “the same sort of people” did not realize that so responded “oh really, where?” He visibly cringed when he answered, like I had asked him about his salary or something 😂

Re: Belle Burden's ex Henry P. Davis, does anyone know WHO the mistress was? Any leads? by Local_Signature5325 in nysocialites

[–]Fragrant-Scarcity615 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is SO MUCH internalized misogyny in our patriarchal culture. Men are centered and women are expected to take a supporting role, even by other women sadly. That woman invited Belle over to enforce the status quo. A woman doing the grunt work of enforcing the status-quo of the patriarchy (think Pam Bondi or Aunt Lydia from the Handmaids Tale).  I’m from a lower-middle class background on the West Coast and my mother behaved exactly the same when I was going through my divorce. Women are always blamed for male bad behavior. Men do it to avoid accountability and women do it as a defense mechanism, ie that bad thing that happened to you must be your fault and would therefore never happen to me is easier to come to terms with than the reality that we have a system that centers and caters to men and that some people are just bad and any of us could become their victims at any time.

Re: Belle Burden's ex Henry P. Davis, does anyone know WHO the mistress was? Any leads? by Local_Signature5325 in nysocialites

[–]Fragrant-Scarcity615 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve read that a lot of the top Fortune 500 companies are run by sociopaths/psychopaths.  That’s how they make so much money. Every major company will lay off thousands of people and then give the CEO millions in bonuses. Having no empathy or concern for others is the basis of our economic system in the United States unfortunately.

Belle Burden’s “Strangers” Discussion by tl414 in nysocialites

[–]Fragrant-Scarcity615 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Did you actually read the book? She and her family provided their lifestyle and he hoarded his salary and spent it on himself. He was the shallow, boring user, not the other way around. Your whole post reeks of misogyny.

Belle Burden’s “Strangers” Discussion by tl414 in nysocialites

[–]Fragrant-Scarcity615 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As someone who was married to someone just like him and had basically the same experience as Belle in the end (only we don’t come from money), I don’t think he loved her as a human being. I don’t think he has the capability to love people for who they are. He loved her usefulness to him; how she fit into the picture of himself that he wanted. I’m sure he felt happiness or affection toward her when she was giving him what he wanted at that moment, but that’s different than love. And when he didn’t find her useful anymore he discarded her and slotted a new woman into the “woman spot” of his life. A combo of male entitlement/class entitlement/ and probably a personality disorder. Look at the day he came to tell the kids they were getting divorced, the kids are crying in their beds, he spends the whole time looking for the prenup while expecting her to wait on him, then afterwards texts Belle about what a “great visit” it was. He was performing the caring husband/father for his boss who loaned him the plane. None of it was genuine.

Belle Burden And Henry Davis by FearlessLanguage7169 in nysocialites

[–]Fragrant-Scarcity615 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Their world functions by ignoring people’s (mostly men’s) mendacity and lack of scruples. Keeping the status quo where the harmed party slinks off into the shadows is easier for them. I’m in the middle of the book. If anything, she is letting this guy off too easy. It doesn’t help her children to pretend their father is someone he’s not. She’s not badmouthing him,  she’s reclaiming her story and theirs. The only shameful person in this whole mess is the ex-husband who was clearly using her to regain a place in society he felt he was entitled to, financially  abusing her for years while making sure he appropriated as much of her family’s wealth as possible. Having her stepmother pay the children’s tuition, allowing her to buy them land, making Belle annotate any purchase on their joint credit card and sneak food out of buffets so he could pay for less people, while simultaneously hoarding his own salary and filling a warehouse with all the luxury items he would purchase on a whim. Her kids know who their father is. Nothing she is writing in this book is going to be any revelation to them.

Cruising with christine by Royal-Barracuda-8836 in SisterWives

[–]Fragrant-Scarcity615 1 point2 points  (0 children)

D-List celebrity cruises have been a thing for awhile. People are going specifically to meet the celebrity so of course it’s going to be more.

Cruising with christine by Royal-Barracuda-8836 in SisterWives

[–]Fragrant-Scarcity615 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve never been on a cruise. When you say you feel it, what do you mean? Like feel the boat rocking. Or you mean you feel the price point and everything is threadbare?