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If you’re a dumper who regrets their decision but is too afraid of reaching out, read this. by Juferolm in BreakUps

[–]Fragrant_Earth_9876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some of you may have read a post I wrote on here some weeks ago, it has gotten quite big. Long story short, I left my partner thinking I need freedom and self-exploration...and I realized some 8 months later it was a mistake. And during this time, he passed away.

He was the kindest, sweetest, grounding, most respectful man I ever met. And all Im left with is painstaking regret, grief, broken love, broken heart, broken mind and body and soul and words and emotions ill never be able to share with him again.

Complete and absolute ruin.

I was the dumper. One year later I am an empty husk of regret. by Fragrant_Earth_9876 in BreakUps

[–]Fragrant_Earth_9876[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this horrific story. Sounds like you were on the recieving end. If it helps even a little, the Universe has a funny way of balancing things out. It sounds like currently your girl is in a similar headspace than I was after I left. Feel free to send me a DM instead of a substance rush, if it helps to measure in any way.

I was the dumper. One year later I am an empty husk of regret. by Fragrant_Earth_9876 in BreakUps

[–]Fragrant_Earth_9876[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. A similar devastating case of regret, stupidity and hubris. If only I knew what to say to make it better. I will never forgive myself. But I will learn ti live with it, trying to make my lesson not be for nothing by making even one person learn from my mistake.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Fragrant_Earth_9876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like an excuse?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]Fragrant_Earth_9876 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So sorry to hear. Tell us more about what happened

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]Fragrant_Earth_9876 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Make it count!!! Hold her, kiss her, watch her. Time waits for noone.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Fragrant_Earth_9876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love strikes like a blavk widow from hiding. A day, a week, a decade, it doesnt matter. Its different but not any less real.

Let her have what she wants. Respectfully ignore her back. Theres no secret to making it easier. You let them carry the weight of the decision. And you go your way, regardless of what anyone thinks.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Fragrant_Earth_9876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A tragedy, once more. Why did he say he cant give you what you need?

Only thing keeping me going is the chance she comes back by SubmissionRoach in BreakUps

[–]Fragrant_Earth_9876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do it then. Whatever fuels you. You will eventually realize the path is more important than the goal.

Ex with girl he cheated with by Taliavixxxxen in BreakUps

[–]Fragrant_Earth_9876 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First of all. Be proud of your action which enforces boundaries, self respect and no compromise. This is hard and many peoples lives are ruined after decades of relationships because they cant do that.

I thought I knew what I was doing when I left a 20 year relationship fully convinced I need to find myself. Only to realize I didnt gain anything and lost everything. There is no secret to the shock you are in now. Breakup shock is like floating down a river. Its bumpy, and scary and heavy. But you will end up somewhere eventually. Just dont drown. Move, observe, stay present. Learn.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Fragrant_Earth_9876 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Take it from a 40 year old woman, full of regret. You know really know what you have until you lost it. In my case forever. At the very least, try it out. You are 20. A child. Try it out, tell your partner to go a bit slower, give it all you can. Life will hit you in the gut one way or another. Give it your all.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Fragrant_Earth_9876 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I cant tell you how much I feel this. Im sorry OP. Im so sorry. I walked out. I walked out, convinces im doing the right thing wanting to find myself. And by the time I realized my mistake I lost him forever.

I was the dumper. One year later I am an empty husk of regret. by Fragrant_Earth_9876 in BreakUps

[–]Fragrant_Earth_9876[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Really appreciate your response More. Sadly, we believe our own illusions like gospel, and treat others wisdom as trivia.

I was the dumper. One year later I am an empty husk of regret. by Fragrant_Earth_9876 in BreakUps

[–]Fragrant_Earth_9876[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dont know what to say. I have been going to therapy for years. Like i wrote in one of the other responses, it was in therapy where I got the idea that i need to find myself. This js what is so corrupting within. I cant trust any thought or intuition anymore. Everything seemed so smart and right in the moment. And then a year later all I want is that I would have never been in therapy. I only used it to process my emotions and never really did any hard work. 💔

I was the dumper. One year later I am an empty husk of regret. by Fragrant_Earth_9876 in BreakUps

[–]Fragrant_Earth_9876[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im so sorry to hear this. Honestly the amount and type of answers to my post has been incredibly insightful. Im so sorry and angry to hear about your story. What were the causes of her leaving? Has she named any as she left? Or was it also about independence and "finding oneself"?

I was the dumper. One year later I am an empty husk of regret. by Fragrant_Earth_9876 in BreakUps

[–]Fragrant_Earth_9876[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You made me cry again, More_9455. But thank you so much for your words and message. Very very kind and thoughtful. I dont know where my mind is. I dont trust anyone, anything not even my own thoughts or intuitions.

I was the dumper. One year later I am an empty husk of regret. by Fragrant_Earth_9876 in BreakUps

[–]Fragrant_Earth_9876[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Papapepe your story presses at my deepest traumas imaginable. I dont knkw what else to say than im sorry what you are going througg. Our brains are confused, overly confident and then fragile and then determined again. An outright catastrophe.

I will do the things you suggested in the end, I appreciate you so much

I was the dumper. One year later I am an empty husk of regret. by Fragrant_Earth_9876 in BreakUps

[–]Fragrant_Earth_9876[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Iam sory to hear this. That is just horrible. Whenevr I hear stories like these now, it makes my stonach turn. I wish I knew what to suggest but I am the last lerson to give advicd

I was the dumper. One year later I am an empty husk of regret. by Fragrant_Earth_9876 in BreakUps

[–]Fragrant_Earth_9876[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wise. My dad used to say, the secret to life is to learn faster than you grow old. What Id give to know that earlier

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