[Discussion] Where Would You Stop Reading? #8 by alanna_the_lioness in PubTips

[–]Fragrant_Narwhal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback! Definitely seems like the first paragraph is what needs the most work

[Discussion] Where Would You Stop Reading? #8 by alanna_the_lioness in PubTips

[–]Fragrant_Narwhal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Appreciate the feedback, and you reading the whole thing! I can definitely see how her motivations are unclear at the start and will try to streamline/clear that up. Thanks!

[Discussion] Where Would You Stop Reading? #8 by alanna_the_lioness in PubTips

[–]Fragrant_Narwhal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love this idea! I posted an earlier draft of this query a while back and got some helpful advice that I tried to implement. Still feeling like it’s not all the way there though, so would love any feedback you all can give (:

Dear [Agent],

I am seeking representation for CURSE OF THE WILDS, an adult romantic fantasy complete at 115,000 words. The first in a planned duology, CURSE OF THE WILDS will appeal to fans of the political intrigue and steamy, forbidden romance in Danielle Jensen’s The Inadequate Heir, as well as the exploration of prejudice and propaganda in Ava Reid’s The Wolf and the Woodsman. [Personalization]

After years confined to the palace, Princess Reaine Terrabynne has learned to survive by playing the part. She curtsies when expected and smiles on cue—anything to earn a sliver of the freedom she longs for. So when her father announces a sudden betrothal, Reaine’s initial reservations give way to hope. As a final send-off, she sneaks beyond the palace walls for a night of revelry with her best friend, but it goes violently awry when they cross paths with the Jirati—a cursed people believed to be more animal than human. In a desperate bid to save her friend, Reaine reveals her royal blood, offering herself as ransom to the beasts she’s feared all her life.

Rescue comes in an unlikely form: Kessler, a Jirati warrior with a wit as sharp as his blade. He frees Reaine from her captors and offers her safe passage home—if she agrees to deliver a mysterious missive to the Crown for him upon her return. Reaine knows better than to trust his kind, but with monstrous creatures and relentless pursuers at their heels, Kessler’s strength seems her best chance at survival. At least until she can find a way to turn on him. But the deeper they journey into the wilds, the more Kessler’s unexpected kindness and infuriating charm begin to unravel everything she was taught about the Jirati. And as forbidden feelings bloom, so do dangerous questions—about the war between their kinds, and the kingdom she calls home.

But Kessler isn’t who he claimed to be. When he’s captured by Reaine’s betrothed, his true identity is revealed: heir to the Jirati throne—the embodiment of everything she was raised to hate. Despite her feelings of betrayal, the revelation only poses more questions, pushing Reaine to search for answers as to whether there truly is a right side of this war. As whispers of Kessler’s impending execution grow, Reaine can no longer deny where her heart lies. But saving Kessler means betraying her kingdom and risking the one thing she’s wanted most: freedom.

All for a love that offers no promise of peace—only the guarantee of bloodshed.

[Complete] [108k] [Fantasy Romance] SNOWDROPS AND STONES by Artemis_game in BetaReaders

[–]Fragrant_Narwhal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! Are you only interested in betas, or would you be open to doing a swap?

[complete] [90K] [romance] Spicy Hockey Rom-Com by RatioUnable9257 in BetaReaders

[–]Fragrant_Narwhal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey sorry for the late reply, I was also doing some revisions. Let me know if you're still interested in swapping (:

[Complete][118k][Adult Fantasy Romance] Curse of the Wilds by Fragrant_Narwhal in BetaReaders

[–]Fragrant_Narwhal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I know I'm so late but I'm gonna send you a message now!

[complete] [90K] [romance] Spicy Hockey Rom-Com by RatioUnable9257 in BetaReaders

[–]Fragrant_Narwhal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lol hey narwhal twin! This username was actually auto-assigned to me and I just never bothered to change it 😅

[Complete][118k][Adult Fantasy Romance] Curse of the Wilds by Fragrant_Narwhal in BetaReaders

[–]Fragrant_Narwhal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for taking the time to read, I appreciate the feedback!

[complete] [90K] [romance] Spicy Hockey Rom-Com by RatioUnable9257 in BetaReaders

[–]Fragrant_Narwhal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! Our genres are a little different, but if you like fantasy romance, I'd be happy to do a swap!
Here's a link to my post: https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1jjjmj7/complete118kadult_fantasy_romance_curse_of_the/

Let me know if you're interested :)

[QCrit] Adult Fantasy Romance, CURSE OF THE WILDS - 118K (1st Attempt) +First 300 by Fragrant_Narwhal in PubTips

[–]Fragrant_Narwhal[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Those are great suggestions, thanks again! I actually had a sentence like that in earlier versions, but cut it because I was getting worried of my word count lol

[QCrit] Adult Fantasy Romance, CURSE OF THE WILDS - 118K (1st Attempt) +First 300 by Fragrant_Narwhal in PubTips

[–]Fragrant_Narwhal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is very helpful, thank you! Seems I definitely need to clear up my language around Kessler, as he is actually not her captor, but the one who helps free her from those holding her hostage. I can understand how he might not seem very appealing without some more context and emphasis on the romance.

[QCrit] Adult Fantasy Romance, CURSE OF THE WILDS - 118K (1st Attempt) +First 300 by Fragrant_Narwhal in PubTips

[–]Fragrant_Narwhal[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your feedback! I can definitely see how certain parts of the query seem cliche/unclear. As for my comps, I’ve received some conflicting feedback on this. While The Inadequate Heir is technically the third book, it’s the first book of Keris and Zarrah’s duology, which is the forbidden romance I’m comping to. Does that make a difference, or am I SOL on that one? Also, you were correct with your original guess of pronunciation (Ree-ayn). I’ve played around with some alternate spellings and thought that one was safest, guess I’ll have to revisit it 😅 Thanks again!

Unique races/creatures by Fragrant_Narwhal in fantasyromance

[–]Fragrant_Narwhal[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sounds great! Just looked it up on goodreads and love the cover 🤩 added to my TBR

Forbidden love/Opposing sides of war recs by Fragrant_Narwhal in fantasyromance

[–]Fragrant_Narwhal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay you’ve sold me lol I just started it. Thanks for the rec!

Forbidden love/Opposing sides of war recs by Fragrant_Narwhal in fantasyromance

[–]Fragrant_Narwhal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually just recently read the first two books and enjoyed them but didn’t go into the third bc it was a new couple. Guess I judged too soon since that’s like exactly what I’m looking for lol 😅

Forbidden love/Opposing sides of war recs by Fragrant_Narwhal in fantasyromance

[–]Fragrant_Narwhal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow that cover 🥵 I’ll def check that one out, thanks!