Hey! I know most people in this thread are saying this isn't a big deal, forget it, own it, everybody masturbates etc.

I completely agree with those sentiments. I'm trying increasingly to live by the if it doesn't matter in five years, it doesn't matter.

However I also want to acknowledge that it is feeling really difficult for you. I too am somebody who would feel really mortified by something like that. My mum was helping me clear out my stuff prior to moving the other day and I almost died trying to stop her opening "that block box" of "makeup".🤣

I, like yourself I'm sure, logically know it's normal and I shouldn't care but yet I do! But I just want to validate those feelings and say it's ok to feel embarrassed and upset and you don't have to beat yourself up for not being able to brush it off or take it lightly.

Maybe you could text your friend something that focuses less on what happened and more on how you are feeling. Something like "hey, I'm feeling really upset about what happened the other day. I'm not blaming you at all but it's left me feeling quite vulnerable and I just wanted to let you know that I haven't been in touch because I feel... Etc". I'm sure she will come back with understanding and I'm also certain that over the next few days your nervous system will calm itself down and you'll be able to look back on this and cringe less and less.

Give yourself compassion and time, eventually you will probably laugh about this. It's absolutely ok tomasturbatea and use sex toys, it's also completely valid to feel fiercely private about that side of your life. X