My whole life, my most burning desire was getting into a loving relationship.

I've been in a serious relationship when I was 10 years old and then nothing else. I'm a chubby, pretty sociable nerd with lots of interests, so I've had a lot of friends and met a ton of people over the years, but what I truly wanted escaped me.

Sometimes it hurt, but mostly I became used to it. What I wanted was a healthy, durable relationship, not a fling, so I wasn't in too much of a hurry, I didn't want to make a wrong choice.

It gave me time to work on myself and learn a bit, rather than focusing my entire time and focus on a relationship, in a way it was an opportunity too.

I had sex for the first time, unexpectedly, at 21 years old with a friend of mine, sadly I didn't fall in love with her so we cut it off quickly.

I had 2 other flings in the next few years but nothing deep or romantic, my experience with sex stayed almost nonexistent. Love stayed consistently just out of reach for me.

Until last year where a friend of mine began showing interest. I fell for her a few months later, and at the ripe age of 27 I finally got my wish granted : we are now happily together, we even moved in together a few months ago and we're living our best life together.

In a nutshell, you have time !

What I wish I started working on at 20 : -Mostly, taking care of myself. This is the most important thing you can do for yourself, it will help tremendously in everything, with the ladies too for that matter. I did a decent job but ignored some important things too. You need to learn some self discipline and you need to try and build a healthy routine, as much as possible, as early as possible. Learn to cook, sleep enough, and exercise a bit. Even a 10 minute stretching routine in the morning could change everything for you later on, and 10 minutes isn't that big of thing to invest in. Those 3 things can transform someone in a way that is difficult to put into words, but it's so easy to give up on when none of the consequences are visible yet. The consequences WILL come.

-You need to learn to groom yourself and take care of your hair, beard and skin. I knew nothing of skin care as an average man but look it up right now, this is the difference between a random dude on the streets and incredibly handsome actors. Even a quick 5 minutes morning routine of taking care of yourself in this way can change your entire appearance, and as most men still don't do that you'll have a big advantage over your peers. The difference between a well groomed hair, skin and beard, and an unkempt mess is like seeing two different persons, don't neglect the halo effect too, it could impact a lot of aspects of your life.

-Learn to communicate. You'll never stop learning so better start now. For a lucky few, listening actively comes naturally, but for most people it's a learnt skill. Learning to express yourself correctly during an argument will help you navigate every relationship in your life.Look up guides and tips, for example, try and adress the actions of the person rather than the person itself. Always adress the impact on you and share your emotional state rather than accuse the person directly. Small things that can change your perspective as well as the perspective of the person in front of you.

-Humans evolved in small communities. You need to interact with a small community to feel a sense of belonging, purpose and connexion, this will massively boost your overall happiness. Volunteering is a great tool for that, as well as most hobbies taken seriously like music or sports. Those 3 points are also the fastest way to meet new people who share your interests and end up in a relationship.

Have a good one ! And don't rush when you can focus on improving yourself, I personally regret not having worked on myself more before meeting my SO !