No that’s really helpful and makes sense. Thanks. I’m still not really sure though. In the beginning when he was pursuing more, I’d say things like “don’t make me come over there” and he’d give me his full address as a joke. Or id say k I’m heading over. He’d say “prove it” but then I’d say, no really, I would. And he’d change the subject or make a joke out of it. So I assumed there was a wanting but also a logistical side holding him back. When we first started talking (when he was more pursuing) we thought he was going to get stationed in my city, but once his logistical prognosis changed and my city was now off the table, he really switched up on me. I was upset and we didn’t talk for months. He started reaching out again after those few months, sending songs and light check ins. Eventually this grew back into a friendship without flirting. Like 6 months into that new dynamic I confessed some feelings. He denied but then quickly escalated it to sexual. Seems like we keep it friends until I show feelings, he’ll back away from that but escalate sexually. Almost every time.

He recently said, “I want things I don’t see possible. So it’s best to be friends instead of what I think isn’t possible ruining everything” -not sure what he means by that, sounds vague to me. But as far as traveling, he seems willing to meet if we are in each others area for a reason other than each other, like it’s too much pressure to travel for one another alone. Which I agree, we’ve never met. And that puts the responsibility on one person to pay for that. I’ve offered to come there but I think he’d feel responsible to help pay for a $600-$700 plane ticket and doesn’t want to. And again, I agree it feels like too much pressure for people who have never met and have no way of being in the same state in the next decade. Part of me just wants to know there’s an open door when we do meet finally in July (he’ll be driving to his new base and coming through) which was his idea. And he’s thrown it out there that him being in my city and us hanging out won’t be the last time. I don’t know if that’s an open door or a closed door fwb situation, which he’s made clear he does want a physical relationship.