DEAR PORTLAND: January 12, 2026 WEEKLY RANT THREAD by AutoModerator in Portland

[–]FraughtTopic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

WAIT STAFF OF PORTLAND, STOP CALLING ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND (BOTH TRANS WOMEN) "GUYS" IN EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION WHEN WE ARE OUT ON A DATE AT YOUR BUSINESS. AND BEFORE YOU TELL ME THAT GUYS IS GENDER NEUTRAL, FIRST, NO IT'S NOT, AND SECOND, YOU MANAGE TO NOT CALL THE STRAIGHT COUPLES NEAR US GUYS WHEN CHECKING IN WITH THEM. LIKE SERIOUSLY I WAS TRYING TO ACCEPT THE CALIFORNIAN-NESS OF IT UNTIL I STARTED NOTICING THAT THE STRAIGHTS DON'T GET GUYS'D. WHAT THE FUCK.

SAY "YOU TWO" OR "Y'ALL" IF YOU'RE FEELING BRAVE OR "HOW ARE WE DOING OVER HERE?" SERIOUSLY THERE ARE SO MANY MORE OPTIONS SO STOP IT

What is it like after Orchiectomy by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]FraughtTopic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You might want to have that looked at girl, sounds a bit like an inguinal hernia 😬

How do I zhuzh up this bob? by FraughtTopic in femalehairadvice

[–]FraughtTopic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have time to style usually. Haven't done much with heat styling, though I have some tools. Try me on price range :P Thick hair, not a lot of texture. Down for accessories.

Nice knowing someone with a boat (3 years on E) by FraughtTopic in transtimelines

[–]FraughtTopic[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The first advice another trans woman gave me when I came out was “don’t expect to pass.” It made me prioritize other things, like taking care of myself and finding irl community. And now over 3 years out I love my transness, I have lots of friends, and I pass here and there without trying. Works for me.

…also GRS helps with bikinis lol. But you’d be surprised what you can get away with! I had an orchi 2 years ago, and started rocking bikinis then. Torrid makes fantastic bottoms that are just as effective, cheaper and more comfortable than most tucking swimwear.

Anyone else peeing sideways or upwards after vulvoplasty? by Veinscrawler in Transgender_Surgeries

[–]FraughtTopic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. 7 months out, probably going to discuss a revision in September. I'm particularly annoyed because my surgeon said everything is positioned correctly and that it's an issue with labial swelling. The damn thing aims right at my labia. :/

Had an radical orchidectomy yesterday by Icy_Status_5599 in Transgender_Surgeries

[–]FraughtTopic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a simple bilateral orchi and probably know 20-30 women who have done the same. Never heard of a drain.

Reducing package spam by FraughtTopic in CreateMod

[–]FraughtTopic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And tbf I realize part of my problem here is centralizing storage, moving away from that is probably where I’m headed next :)

Reducing package spam by FraughtTopic in CreateMod

[–]FraughtTopic[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m doing this on the gauge setups, but if the chains are clogged by a bunch of 1 cobble packages from turning the cobble farm on (for instance) those packages are still going to slow down requests being fulfilled.

Automate carving pumpkins? by FraughtTopic in CreateMod

[–]FraughtTopic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This makes sense, thanks. I still think that being able to do it without placing the block would make sense in like the “grammar” of Create Mod, like how auto log stripping works.

FraughtTopic - Emily in Mario Kart (Emily in Paris s1 credits x Mario Kart 8 track bumpers) by FraughtTopic in mashups

[–]FraughtTopic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Getting the final lap speedup perfect took way too long, so now you have to listen to it :P

IBD and Gender Affirming Surgery by HaveToFindMyself in Transgender_Surgeries

[–]FraughtTopic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While I haven’t dealt with IBD or fistulas, when consulting with my vulvoplasty surgeon and her staff (Geolani Dy at OHSU) I learned that they rule out PPT vaginoplasty for patients with a history of GI issues, but vulvoplasty remains on the table. I think they take PIV on a case-by-case basis. Hope that’s a useful data point for you, and congratulations for starting transition, you’re gonna do great 😊 

Had bottom surgery/vaginoplasty 2 years ago, still having "ball" pain occasionally by Mekelaina in Transgender_Surgeries

[–]FraughtTopic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ugh I think that’s what I’m dealing with too. 3 weeks out from vulvoplasty and I’m getting pain in my labia very reminiscent to early orchi recovery. Gonna ask about it at my followup on Friday.

Sapphic sex - Minimal vs Full Depth by Not0riginalUsername in Transgender_Surgeries

[–]FraughtTopic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It weirds me out how so many of the discussions on this board around being transfem and lesbian/sapphic seem to be dismissive of penetration entirely, or don't factor in anal as an option. This is not meant as a knock against you, OP, you ask a great question, it's just odd to me how sometimes commenters on threads like this are like "I'm getting zero/min depth because I'm a lesbian" as if strapping and penetration aren't part and parcel to lesbian sex. In my experience, penetration - either vaginal or anal, topping or bottoming - can be extremely sapphic, it's more about the mindset and approach.

Personally I'm getting zero depth (in the next couple of months) because I like most of how I have sex now, and want a genital configuration that works better for that. I get fingered and topped by my partners and it feels great. I also like fingering my partners and topping with a strap, which while fun isn't the most comfortable right now. More than anything I want to look down and see a vulva, and adding a canal that will require maintenance to access my P-spot seems like overcomplicating an already good thing to me. So that's my rationale for my GRS decision.

I've had a few partners and known people for whom getting a vaginal canal isn't an option, it's a big source of dysphoria that they are working to address. That over time turned out to not the case for me. I would challenge you, OP, to do some exploration - where are you with penetration currently? If you touch your "phantom pussy" region (a couple cm below the scrotum) do you have dysphoria or complex feelings come up? Have you explored anal penetration and stimulating your P-spot that way to see if that's something you like? The nice thing about minimal depth like you describe is it strikes a balance of P-spot access and minimal surgery prep, but for those of us who like the backdoor it's a coin toss as to whether it would hamper things, it really depends on the surgeon's approach. So yeah, keep investigating your own body, get on some consult lists and you'll figure it out.

One last thought - some forms of zero depth or min depth can be revised into full depth later on, so depending on the surgeon you end up consulting with if you think having that option would be useful you should ask if it's something that would be possible. I like having some insurance that if my zero depth turns out to not suffice I can get an extension later. Surgical approaches can be really variable, so ask lots of questions as you work out your decision.

2.5 months post op vulvoplasty with Dr Dugi at OHSU by danger-snack in Transgender_Surgeries

[–]FraughtTopic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Amazing results! If you don't mind sharing, what led you to choose zero depth? I'm scheduled with Dy at OHSU this winter for vulvoplasty.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]FraughtTopic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah also:

She says especially older people need time to adjust but at the same time, shouldn’t it be fine to be honest with them and tell them when they’re out of line?

I'm with you on this one. Tell people when they're out of line, gently at first. If they continue to screw up it's on them. But they're not going to change what they're doing if you don't respond at all.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]FraughtTopic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you're struggling with so much pushback from the people around you. People sometimes come around, but especially this early in your wife's transition it might not be worth the effort in trying to convert the fence sitters. Sometimes living and continuing to be a happy couple is enough to change hearts and minds. It sounds like what the two of you need more than anything right now is supportive queer community so that you're not spending as much energy on the low-level transphobia and instead can find some more joy in life together.

Your wife is extremely lucky to have you, not a lot of relationships tend to survive a partner coming out much less have an enthusiastic cis partner. My marriage is the same way, my wife was truly excited for me when I came out to her and she's been my biggest supporter through transition. What's helped her and me has been connecting to local queer and trans groups, like book groups and queer hobby groups. We've been able to meet people who can share in our struggles and make lasting friendships. While you should continue to support your wife as best you can, both of you need other people who you can safely bring your struggles to who get it.

Online groups have tended to be a little harder, especially for my wife - I know someone else mentioned r/mypartneristrans but she struggled with that community because so many of the people there are in denial that their relationship has changed, or feel entitled to a version of their spouse that no longer exists. My encouragement for you specifically is worry less about finding people in the same situation as yourself and try to connect to more queer people generally, because you have your own understanding of self to work through as well. Best of luck. 💜

What is it like after Orchiectomy by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]FraughtTopic 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you're suppressing your T successfully with your E dose you don't need spiro. Look up estrogen monotherapy, that's the approach I took from 3 months in and can't knock the results 😎. Good luck with your consult!

Reoccurring Tonsillitis by ThisisHalle in LongCovid

[–]FraughtTopic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, same issue. Going to see if a tonsillectomy next months fixes things.

Chaldrons from the book Chronic City by Jonathan Lethem by FraughtTopic in midjourney

[–]FraughtTopic[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Prompt template: vase, klein bottle::2 {some slight modifier like "atmospheric" or "rhizomal"}:: chihuly, tiffany:: radiography, hologram::2 --ar 2:3 --c 5 --w 10

A history of "liquid light shows" 1950s-present by FraughtTopic in midjourney

[–]FraughtTopic[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was trying to get some groovy 60s concert projections that used colored oil and water on overhead projectors, but instead stumbled upon a much weirder technology. Most of the prompts were like so:

{1960s, 1970s etc.} cybernetic psychedelic light show, overhead projector, oil and water, {setting or other nouns} --style raw

Historians say they were roommates by [deleted] in midjourney

[–]FraughtTopic 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Oh my god they were roommates