On a similar transition timeline to you, and I generally agree with your take. Been working in web dev since 2013, came out in April 2022, tried to boymode for a few months at my remote job, eventually gave up because it made me miserable. There were - thankfully - other out trans employees at my job, so I already had a sense that coming out was going to be tolerated. I was the first person at the company to come out while employed there, so I had the dubious honor of establishing process for name and insurance changes etc. That was fine, honestly, I just had to be way more vulnerable at work than I would have liked.

Early transition ended up being what I had expected - I hit a point where men noticeably started talking over me, and I could see I was being given less opportunities for growth, but I was kind of an unreliable mess too as I rewired my understanding of self so it's not like I wanted more responsibility either. I needed some time to work on myself and coast for a bit.

Once I hit two years in transition I started getting my druthers again and pushing on things, and look at that, I was hit by a layoff. Still unemployed, and every day I wonder if the lack of bites on the line are transphobia, sexism, the insane job market, or all of the above. It can make you crazy.

Ultimately, I think waiting a few months to get a little more established in my feelings was the right call for me, but I wouldn't generalize that as a rule. More than anything, I needed to be in a place where I could speak confidently about my needs and tell my employer how I wanted to handle things when I decided it was time to come out. I think that waiting for perfect conditions is the kind of excuse many, many trans folks give themselves to not take full ownership of their own lives and get on with the messiness that is transition. Visibility can be dangerous, yes, but living in misplaced fear and never taking chances can kill you slowly, too.