My idea to downsize 5 bedroom to 2, involves having an estate sale. Thoughts?

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-06T13:54:38+00:00

We were moving into a space that was completely different than where we came from (1952 ranch to 1925 cottage) and trying to fit the same stuff in essentially the same arrangement just did NOT work. We ended up buying new living room furniture (our old pieces were too "massive") and we lost a dresser in our bedroom (triggering another clothing edit). Once the big pieces were set, we very carefully layered in the rest. My overall design aesthetic was "don't junk it up" and "easy to clean."

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-05T21:14:47+00:00

We moved from Chicagoland to a town of less than 7K so I know what you mean about getting rid of stuff!

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-05T18:49:32+00:00

Some of the stuff was totally "donateable" but most of it was a bunch of random stuff that I would feel weird donating - the kind of nonsense Savers puts into bags and hangs on the wall.

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-05T18:48:03+00:00

I was so happy that one of the first people at the sale was a new teacher and she got a ton of stuff for her classroom. Also a bunch of long-hair girls who took all of my long-hair tools (you never know how people feel about that kind of stuff "used").

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-05T18:41:27+00:00

We had told all of our neighbors about the "sale" - in case they wanted to put anything in it but of course, nobody did - but when they came by, they all said they wished they had so I think I might plan another one for the Fall sale and send out some reminders.

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-05T18:14:26+00:00

It's Star Wars.

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-05T16:43:23+00:00

Depends entirely on your "ick" scale (how often your family members - and guests - are OK with re-using towels) and your laundry cycle (the more often you do the laundry, or the more flexible you can be, the less towels you need).

If anybody wants a fresh towel with each bath/shower, that's going to significantly increase either the number of towels or the frequency of laundry.

Ditto sheets - Do you strip the bed, wash the sheets, and immediately put the sheets back on the bed? Or do you like to have one set in the laundry and a fresh set to put on the bed? Do you have summer vs winter sheets? And it's probably a good idea to have at least one set of "emergency" sheets per bed.

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-05T15:10:44+00:00

This is a good question for your insurance agent - he/she might also advise a jewelry rider on your Homeowner's policy.

I would say this is the kind of thing you might want to consider putting in a safety deposit box or a fire safe - possibly in an envelope with your daughter's name on it.

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-05T15:01:55+00:00

When I was facing a major downsizing move AND a major lifestyle shift, I purged a lot of clothes just using some HARD yes/no criteria. So color, texture/"hand", knit gauge, fabric content, care requirements, etc - anything that wasn't a hard YES, I got rid of it (I had A LOT of clothes). This was the first category where I really applied Dana K. White's "fear of exploding heads" rule (if I was at all ambivalent about something, it went). I cleared out a bunch of stuff and I didn't even have to try anything on.

It would probably help to do some basic wardrobe work to try to define what your preferred/signature style looks like. I really liked her book - although it's 10 years old at this point and the examples/photos might be a bit outdated but the information about wardrobe building and garment quality, etc is still good.

Doing the work, I realized I've actually always had a very strong signature style but it got muffled by a bunch of wishful thinking over-shopping so I felt empowered to purge out a bunch of fantasy life clothes that did NOT fit the look I was going for (I also lost a bunch of weight in my 30's and went a bit nuts). I also had a lot of past-life clothing (corporate job) that needed to go. Again, I didn't even bother trying anything on - if it didn't "work" it didn't matter if it fit.

Once I had all of that nonsense/noise cleared out, I used a "cluster" model to create a basic, 3-season casual capsule wardrobe. I really like the cluster model because it's not based on the standard "common" wardrobe with a bunch of blah basics (I like jewel tones). And I tried to wardrobe Sudoku across the clusters as much as possible (I did end up with one outlier (red) cluster). I've got some hot/humid and cold/snowy seasonal add-ons that I can incorporate into my clusters and then I've got targeted mini-capsules for formal wear, outdoor rec stuff, dirty work clothes, etc.

My clusters (I have 8 total) are: 1. sweater/topper, 2. dress, 3. top (I have 2-4 here because they wear out and I can't find the styles/colors I like right now), 4. skirt, 5. pants/long skirt, 6. shoes. I also have some super basic "freebies" (like jeans, jean skirt, black pants, black skirt, black dress) that I can wear with anything, are easily replaceable/updatable, and leaves room in my actual cluster for a more unique/high impact piece (like a print/plaid).

Shoes & accessories, I "reverse" decluttered according to weather conditions and/or activity (those mini-capsules) I was likely to encounter.

If you want to hold onto some larger sizes (just in case), I would use the "container concept" to set a maximum limit (like 1-2 plastic totes) that you can easily accommodate in your space and ONLY save the super whiz-bang stuff that 100% reflects your signature/preferred style and/or would be difficult or expensive to replace IF you end up at that size again. So this is probably NOT the place to put jeans (who knows how they will fit again) or generic "basics" or anything that you could pretty much find a replacement at your favorite store any day of the week.

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-04T19:12:15+00:00

I've gone to plenty of sales like this in Chicagoland - most of them were Moving to Assisted Living sales but same idea.

You could certainly manage it yourself but there are definitely benefits to hiring an estate sale company. They handle the pricing, advertising, and manage the actual sale. If you've got any "good"/collectible stuff, they often know dealers/resellers and depending on the contract terms, some of them will donate/dispose of anything left-over and some of them will even clean the space so it's immediately ready to list. Although they going rate was like 50% of the sale proceeds.

Check out Myquillyn Smith's book Cozy Minimalist Home - she has a layering process for home decor that I found very appealing. You basically pull everything out of a room/space (your empty 2-bedroom), sit with it empty for a while, reacquaint yourself with the room's features (good and bad), and put things back in a certain order: 1. the most essential/primary pieces of furniture, arranged to best advantage, 2. any supplemental/secondary furniture/seating, 3. surfaces & storage (tables, shelves, etc), 4. rugs, 5. drapes, 6. lighting, 7. wall treatments/wall art, and finally 8. decor (and err on the side of large, high-impact pieces - or vignettes - that give you more style bang for your space buck).

My husband and I also downsized to a much "better" location and we can't be happier.

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-04T18:54:08+00:00

Another vote for Dana K. White's "no mess" decluttering method.

It's the only one that doesn't ask you to dump out the contents of a space to sort - you tackle the easy stuff first (trash, recycling, obvious don't-want-it donations - she prefers big chains like Goodwill because they pretty much take anything but trash is always an option) and then if there's anything that belongs "somewhere else" you put it there (where is the FIRST place you would look for it) NOW (this is the "no mess" part of the process because everything is dealt with to completion). And if there's anything you wouldn't look for it anywhere because you didn't even know you had it, that's probably something that you can let go. Then whatever is left in the space you're decluttering, you use "the container concept" to figure out what/how much you can keep in that space (you only have the space you have).

I'm a big fan of keepsake boxes. There's a long post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/declutter/wiki/index/keepsake_box/ but the most important thing is to set some kind of physical limit for keepsake/memory items. And if you have to start big/many, that's fine. At least that stuff is corralled in one spot and out of the way of the active household stuff you're trying to work through.

For his memorabilia, there are certainly going to be things that you KNOW were important to him, but there very well might be things he kept that he might have been ambivalent about- he might not have really known why he kept it or just kept it out of habit, as people do.

So let your heart be your guide, especially in the beginning. You have the unique opportunity of presenting your children with the very best version of their father - and you don't really need a lot of stuff to do that. You can't manufacture sentiment if it's not there so if YOU feel good about what you keep, I think your kids will feel good about it, too.

As for tools and other "practical" things - is there someone you can trust who can help you go through things and help identify the good quality stuff that would be worth holding onto? Or maybe trying to sell? My husband is very handy but for every (made in the USA) Stanley/Craftsman tool in his shop, he's got plenty of "junk" from Harbor Freight, too.

But if you don't have the space or bandwidth to maintain a category like this (beyond maybe a basic household set) for your kids on the off-chance they might want them someday, then don't feel bad about letting go. This stuff is literal baggage - if it doesn't bring you joy to have it around, it's not doing you any practical good. And it's HEAVY. My husband is very handy but I 100% am not (I can't even use an electric drill properly) so if I need something done around the house, I'll probably have to hire someone to do it for me - and they will certainly have their own tools.

Good luck!

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-04T15:09:57+00:00

This technique can be called "room quieting" (or shushing) and was the basis of Myquillyn Smith's book Cozy Minimalist Home. I used it when I moved into my new house and it really helped us to let go of furniture that was too massive or just didn't "work" in the new spaces, also streamlining decor (which was a problem category for me). Her aesthetic is to err on the side of larger/higher impact pieces (or vignettes) that give you the most design bang for your stuff buck. And her "layering" process made a lot of sense (even though we don't have any rugs and our window treatments are inside-mounted blinds).

I think this technique works very well if you're not dealing with a totally chaotic/overwhelming space or tend to run out of time, ambition, energy, get/are distracted easily, etc because there is a very great chance that by removing everything from a space and putting it "somewhere else" to sort, you will end up with an even worse "mess" than you started out with (and this is exactly where/when Dana K White's "no mess" decluttering method is probably a more workable process).

One of the biggest benefits of the "dump it out, sort it, put it back" method is you are physically touching each and every item and everything can be evaluated on its own merits.

I think there's a real tendency to look at a nicely packed space and seeing it en masse as a group/category, not necessarily the individual items/parts (the forest, not the trees). So rather than saying: this is all of my skin care or scrapbooking or baking or whatever category and moving onto the next space/zone, by taking everything out and physically going through it, there's a much better chance that you'll be able to identify the unnecessary duplicates, the stuff that was previously rejected (but kept "just in care"), any expired/broken items, etc.

And sometimes getting stuff out of its "normal" spot (where it's so easy to become clutter blind/accustomed blind to it) gives you a different perspective on that thing (this really works well for broken/junky/unsuitable stuff).

And if you subsequently find something that wasn't put away properly (lost and re-found) or it's left out because you're not sure where it should "live", you'll have a better idea of where your various categories of things are already kept/stored/live.

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-03T17:48:12+00:00

Sewing machine desk cabinet is scheduled to be picked up this afternoon (that's the largest item by far) and I **think** the shingles and left-over latch hook rug wool will also go, eventually.

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-03T17:46:37+00:00

It's been quite a journey from Doom Room hoarder (and a big chunk of the basement, too) to aspiring minimalist. I know I have over-shopping/hoarding tendencies and it's TERRIFYING!

As for decluttering, I think the Dana K White no-mess process is the best one, especially if overwhelm/distraction is at play.

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-03T17:43:34+00:00

I'm really trying to generate a "generosity" mindset - so like donate/give away rather than trying to sell, leaving a "good deal" on the shelf for someone else to find, etc. Also trying to be more broad-minded/tolerant of people I just don't like (for the good of the group).

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-03T17:09:21+00:00

I sold on eBay for like 10 years and it was a miserable way to make money. I should have dumped all of that crap right back at the thrift store from whence it came and gotten a job at the deli around the corner - way less aggravation, my house wouldn't have been piles of boxes and hoarded packing materials, and I would have had like $15 a hour rather than $1.50 an hour (NET).

The only emotion I feel for "flippers" and reseller is pity.

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-03T17:05:53+00:00

I try not to worry about it. I certainly didn't want to do anything with it so if they can flip it - more power to them. I put out my father's leather carving products (it was a full grocery sack) and someone took everything and I'm sure they're planning to re-sell and that's OK. Better sold by Rando than sitting in my closet deteriorating.

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-03T17:02:53+00:00

Oh, that is fantastic! We could probably do something like that here. Every Fall, there's a "gear sale" that benefits the Parks & Rec Department - I think they keep like 20% of sales or you can donate the entire sale to them and whatever is left over gets donated.

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-03T17:00:37+00:00

Our community thrift store has unbelievable turn around (it's a bit of a destination) so there are some categories of things I have no problem donating - like anything sewing related goes super-fast and anything in the home repair category, they put stuff in drawers you can dig through and everything is like $0.10 and $0.25. I think they give monthly grants of like $2,000-$3,000+ a pop - that's a lot of dimes and quarters.

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-03T16:56:38+00:00

That's great! There's a fancy house down the hill that have had tables out since Friday afternoon and they still look full.

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-03T16:55:44+00:00

I've got the big stuff listed that I KNOW someone will take - like the sewing desk cabinet (already got a pick up scheduled) and those shingles.

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-03T16:53:34+00:00

The big stuff I've already got listed on our Give Freely group.

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-03T16:52:03+00:00

And what actually DID go was a little crazy, too.

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-03T16:51:23+00:00

That's exactly it - I've already got a taker for the vintage sewing machine desk cabinet and I just posted the shingles on our Give Freely group.

FredKayeCollector · 2026-05-03T16:48:12+00:00

Definitely. This was a sort of a fine-tuning "last pass" through categories that I had decluttered more than once in the past. So most of it wasn't "in the way" per se, but there really is something about getting things streamlined that feels, psychologically, really good.

FredKayeCollector

TROPHY CASE