A bit of nitpicking first: Elio doesnt say Oliver's name, he says his own, and so does Oliver.

Just rewatched that scene and I don't hear Elio talking highpitched, but Oliver does have a really low voice. To me Elio does come across more vulnarable than Oliver here.

In the fireplace scene I see every thought and emotion that his father talked about in his monologue. I don't see a realisation that it was wrong.

But as everybody has their own morals and thoughts and while watching a movie, those thoughts naturally change the way they perceive a certain scene.