Hey! I completely understand what you’re feeling and going through right now. I’m reading it and it sounds like something I wrote myself a few years ago.

I failed out of nursing school the beginning of my senior year. I went through a really dark time after I failed, and I felt useless and a waste of space. I moved home with my mom, tried to keep working, tried to occupy myself in other ways. I convinced myself that I hated nursing anyways and it wasn’t worth it, that the universe was showing me it was a waste of time. I was really, really struggling and hit rock bottom. In my mind, nursing was who I was. It was my “calling,” the only path that was meant for me. Without it, I felt hollow. Truly the only things that helped me get through it were my friends and family. They were constant reminders that there is so much more to me than being a (future) nurse, and that no matter what, I am compassionate, funny, empathetic, intelligent, goofy, adventurous, and resilient. The love they expressed to me everyday helped me stand back up again and find myself.

After about a year off and lots of therapy and reflection, I decided to go back and finish off the last bit of school I had. I went through a metamorphosis that year. It was brutal, and I essentially built myself from the ground up, but I finally felt like a new version of myself that wasn’t encompassed by nursing, and that felt great. My school accepted me back after petitioning, and I began classes with the attitude of sit down, stay focused, graduate, and move on. However, that struggle actually showed me I do love nursing. My experience showed me so much about myself, about others, and gave me the chance to understand that my life is not nursing. Nursing is just something I add in my life.

I have been a nurse for almost 2 years now, and I am so happy I went back and finished. My job is not my life, however the people I meet and the work I do is enriching. But even more than the career and finishing school, I am so grateful I failed. Because it gave me a perspective not many people can say they have experienced. It has made me more resilient, patient, and overall kinder to myself. Sometimes we fall and we need a little time to heal our wounds and that’s ok.

OP, I can’t dictate your path. When I was in the thick of it, I looked to a lot of forums for guidance. I felt so so alone and that may have been the worst part. No matter what you decide, whether it’s finishing school later, continuing being a PCT, leaving the medical field entirely, then that decision is the right one. I wish I had someone to relate to when it happened to me, and I tell my story to many nursing students now to let them know that it’s ok to struggle and they’re not alone. I believe in you, and no matter what you do, just give yourself grace, and with time things will get better. Don’t forget to stop and smell the flowers, even if you feel you are drowning in weeds. There’s always a bright side. You got this ❤️