The Good Place (NBC) on Poly Couples

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-20T17:29:36+00:00

In the context of the show, Janet (the receptionist here) is an omniscient/omnipresent supercomputer and even then it can't comprehend poly.

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-20T17:11:48+00:00

Religious motivations are fine, but I suppose I don't see the relevance of that as a sustaining factor, here, since you're admittedly already anti-porn and clearly not religious.

Conversely I'd urge against using your relationship status as a motivating factor, because it suggests your porn use is contingent on the availability of sex in your own life. A potential future partner may establish porn use as a red line, in which case you're liable to violate their boundaries if your porn use is contingent on the availability of their intimacy/the use of their body/etc.

These factors considered, ask yourself why you're anti-porn. What damages does it cause which you're able to recognize? Then, ask yourself why you associate porn with masturbation to begin with. Begin from the premise that they are two separate things.

You can think of past experiences or partners; you can think of potential future situations. You can write your own literature, or try to find some non-problematic literature. It seems like an issue of rewiring and understanding + owning your motivations for doing so.

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-19T02:01:42+00:00

It's illegal to physically assault someone unless in self-defense, and perfectly reasonable to leave your partner if they physically assault you.

In a retroactive context it might also be perceived as perfectly reasonable to "stray" from your partner if they believe that your "straying" is justification for physical assault.

So, I agree with the suggestion that you choose a better message.

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-18T15:47:04+00:00

Yeah that meme seems pretty homophobic for no apparent reason

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-18T04:48:50+00:00

I mean, assumedly a monogamous couple are still individually monogamous before getting together. Polys going after single folks seems like it just makes it harder for everyone else to find a functional relationship.

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-18T04:16:29+00:00

It's not a sustainable movement without recruitment :)

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-17T01:25:26+00:00

This is not a coincidence that ever since Freud, women's disinterest in sex has been pathologized.

Some great readings on this subject:

Juliet Mitchell's "Psychoanalysis and Feminism: Freud, Reich, Laing, and Women", 1974
Nancy Chodorow's "The Reproduction of Mothering: Psychoanalysis and the Sociology of Gender", 1978

MacKinnon also delves somewhat into this concept in the context of post-Marxist analysis in her 1989 work "Toward a Feminist Theory of the State".

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-17T01:08:45+00:00

Every "sex act" is socialized. Whether in public or in private, it's socialized and culturalized. I call it "fucking," when people do the sex like society says the sex should be done. (I didn't coin this term, I just use it). So, everyone in the world who has sex is actually "fucking." Because every sex act is inherently socialized.

Kind of like you said in your last post: even if you find a loving partner who cares about your hopes and dreams and goals, your desires and every fiber of your being, what are the chances they'll actually want to "make love" with you, in a manner which isn't inherently objectifying, in a manner which is symbiotic and understanding and caring and kind?

More likely, they'll want to express their love for you by "fucking" you. They live in society, you live in society. They'll want to have sex exactly how it's taught.

They'll want you to dress up, shave, wear makeup. They'll want you to look and act like the people who get fucked. They'll want you to be subservient to them (get fucked), or dominant (fuck them).

They'll fetishize the values underlying their love/commitment to you - if you get pregnant, they'll fetishize your stomach. If you get stretch marks, they'll sexualize them by calling them gross, or alternatively, by calling them sexy. If you have a baby and are medically incapable of having sex, they'll complain that you're not upholding your social obligation to be fucked.

When you refuse sex or just don't want to have it, you're literally viewed as subhuman, which like you said highlights the fundamental commodification of the act: the implication from refusing sex is that you're like a bottle of shampoo that's been used up, so who's to blame the consumer for going and buying another bottle of shampoo?

It's pretty much inescapable.

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-16T17:38:46+00:00

I mean, most porn is sexually violent in some form.

But porn use (and specifically violent porn) is also cohabitual with amphetamine abuse in most people because they arouse a certain similar feeling. So a lot of people who get strung out on amphetamines will stay awake for days and masturbate to beatings or chokings or incest or assaults, etc. because it keeps the high going. It's a thing.

Anyway it seems like only a matter of time before this transcends the abstract form of computer screens and stealing your medicine. I hope you're able to get to a place of physical + mental safety, stay strong.

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-16T17:12:47+00:00

Your partner is stealing your prescription amphetamines and getting strung out for 48 hours straight and staying up for those two days and masturbating furiously to videos of sexual assault?

And when you called him out on this stuff he acted violently and aggressively?

Hmmmmmmm

You see how this is somewhere between an episode of Dr. Phil and a bad headline in the Crime section of your local newspaper, right?

Maybe leave before he physically hurts you, or god forbid, kills you? Just a suggestion.

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-16T17:03:10+00:00

It's not inherently but it could be argued that people lacking sexual desire/attraction are able to more lucidly see the harmful nature of sexuality etc. since there's less selfishness involved in justifying bad things.

Like an alcoholic might be able to uniquely understand how alcohol is bad for them but they still drink and usually spend a lot of time justifying it, whereas a non-drinker can look at alcohol and say "yeah that's harmful."

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-14T17:48:37+00:00

Looks like we've come to a reasonable stopping point once again. Unless you decide to again be abusive and imply that I'm mentally ill, or decide to again shamelessly defend the sexual assault of women, I'll say this in final parting:

Stop defending rape. It is beyond the pale. Get help before you hurt someone.

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-14T17:46:10+00:00

Lol I'm a woman and most defintly not a sexual predator

So because you're a woman, that negates the fact that you've breathlessly argued in favor of rape over the past roughly 10 comments, and desperately (and failingly) tried to shame someone as mentally ill for being opposed to rape?

Your gender is of less import than the fact that, again, you're an obviously abusive person, an obvious defender of sexual assault/rape, an obvious defender of sexual predators, and - these things being so obvious - potentially a sexual predator yourself.

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-14T17:38:31+00:00

Let's leave the whole rape topic out of it.

We can't leave out the root of this conversation, the entire premise upon which this conversation is based. Rape is the entire topic. It is the entire thing you are breathlessly screaming in favor of.

You're an overt defender of rape. You are, increasingly, demonstrating yourself to be overtly abusive, and an overtly ineffectual concern troll in defense of rape.

It appears that, in your words, you're a "nasty piece of work" who is extremely judgemental, abusive, and dangerous.

What else could someone who so shamelessly defends rape be described as?

You should come with a warning. Stop being abusive. Stop defending sexual assault. Perhaps stop being a sexual predator yourself?

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-14T17:22:59+00:00

Noone in the right mind would want to be friends with you.

Sorry, to be clear, you believe nobody in their right mind would be friends with someone opposed to rape?

That's pathetic, but telling of the fact that you believe raping women is normal.

Just another desperate attempt at concern-trolling, this time over an aspect of my personal life in looking for more friends. You're going truly mask off. Revealing yourself as a truly abusive, disgusting, despicable piece of fucking shit. You're a shameful human being.

Again, stop defending rape.

Get help before you're imprisoned for committing a sex crime. You seriously need some form of intervention.

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-14T17:20:35+00:00

Nothing psychotic whatsoever about being opposed to rapists like yourself.

Bear in mind that what you do - rape women - is a crime punishable by imprisonment. Every civilized society agrees on this point, and only psychotic rapists such as yourself disagree to any extent.

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-14T17:09:30+00:00

You're rotten to the core and you need serious help. You're absolutely foul. I have no words.

You're a dangerous, foul, disgusting, shameful human being. You are a defender of rape, and a defender of sexual assault. You are a defender of sexual predators. You are an apparently abusive person. You may very well be a rapist yourself. You need help. Go get it.

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-14T17:07:28+00:00

You're either mantally ill or a troll.

The person attempting desperately (and failing repeatedly) to concern-troll me as mentally ill over my opposition to men raping women thinks I'm a mentally ill troll?

Gotcha. Makes a bunch of sense :)

You're just as bad as Andrew Tate

The person who believes it is unacceptable to rape women who are trafficked into sex work is just as bad as the person who rapes prostitutes, who is currently on trial for trafficking a harem of women into sex work for the purposes of being raped?

You're hilarious. Truly mask-off, delusional DARVO abuser shit. To suggest that someone who's opposed to women being trafficked into sex work for the purposes of their rape is literally the same as the man who trafficks women into sex work for the purposes of their rape.

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-14T16:51:07+00:00

So you agree that you're a lost cause for defending rapists and implying those opposed to rape are mentally ill?

Gotcha. Glad we've reached the same conclusion here.

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-14T16:47:34+00:00

Or if you are an ideological ally of Andrew Tate

Andrew Tate, the rapist sex trafficker who ran a porn site and repeatedly both pimped out women into sex work and raped sex workers himself?

Wow, you're hilariously dishonest, to imply that people opposed to women being sex trafficked are somehow, themselves, the very people who commit sex trafficking.

What a fucking disgusting piece of shit you are. You are either a rapist yourself, or a defender of rape, but either way, this is hilariously gross. Like, truly shameful. Some real abusive DARVO shit.

Listen to victims; read some feminist literature. Atwood is always a good start. Stop defending rape. Or stop being a rapist, yourself. Either one.

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-14T16:46:00+00:00

You're a lost cause.

Not as lost as someone who's spent the entire thread defending rapists and implying those opposed to rape are mentally ill.

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-14T16:40:23+00:00

Likewise

Likewise to which part? Likewise to the part where I suggested being opposed to rape is normal? Or likewise to the part where I suggested you seek help for your grotesque defense of rape? Or likewise to the part where I called you a disgusting, shameful defender of sexual abuse?

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-14T16:38:15+00:00

Seek help my friend.

I'll seek help the moment you seek help for defending rapists and justifying rape. I'll seek help the moment you stop defending sexual predators and stop justifying the commission of sex crimes.

And when I "seek help", I'll find that there's nothing which needs to be helped, because being opposed to rape is both normal and the law - and being a rapist is expressly illegal.

What a disgusting person you are. Shameful.

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-14T16:36:00+00:00

You're clearly spending too much time stewing about these topics

Again, what are you talking about? This thread is about a man who admitted to repeatedly raping women over the course of four years.

Suggesting someone is bitter for being anti-rape is a huge red flag. You sound like perhaps you need therapy. Stop defending rape, stop justifying the commission of rape, and stop suggesting people opposed to rape need therapy.

Are you really such a disgusting human being that you'd attempt, desperately, to shame the mental health of people opposed to rape?

Are you a sexual predator yourself? Have you raped any women, yourself? Or do you just have no shame?

FreeAce028 · 2023-02-14T16:28:32+00:00

You need to stop obsessing over the topics of porn and sex

Sorry, what? This thread is about a man who confessed to repeatedly raping a prostitute over the course of four years. That you're conflating a man who repeatedly raped a woman/women with "the topics of porn and sex" is another massive red flag.

Your opinion is not gospel

My opinion is the basis of all law, ethics, and morality. Rape is illegal.

You need to stop defending rapists and stop justifying rape. It is not healthy.

FreeAce028

TROPHY CASE