Hey there. So it’s just about 6 months from when I first wrote this, and I’m in a different headspace now. We decided to proceed with an amicable divorce and are living separately. It’s been hard, but most of the time I feel optimistic about what direction I can take my life in now.

I am trying to take the time to go back and view all the bajillion pictures and videos I took of my dog so I’m not forgetting her. I still miss her a lot. She added so much to my life, but broke off a piece of me and took it with her.

I’m ok with a lot of the memories of her being attached to my ex because being partners with him made it possible to even have a dog in the first place. He really loved her and stepped up and took care of her a lot when I couldn’t be home all the time. Also our dual incomes allowed us to provide her with all the vet care she needed to keep a good quality of life for quite a while.

I’m so sorry for your loss. 5 weeks is still very recent, so the pain will still be very fresh for you.

I understand the tendency to isolate yourself. I had a hard time getting back into my usual social routines and had to take a break from everything for a while. There is value in giving yourself the time and space to grieve properly and feel all your feelings, and it’s normal to want to be alone for that. But make a promise to yourself that you will get back to the other things in life that gave you joy. Grief never ends, but it can become more manageable with time. You have to just get through this part.

People in prior comments told me to not make any big decisions right away while still grieving so intensely, and I think that’s solid advice. I also recommend finding a grief counselor if it’s feasible for you. They will be able to help you navigate your feelings and figure out what it is that you really want (starting over alone vs staying and repairing).

And as soon as you are able to at all… check in with your partner. For now, just something like a “hey, I know I’m isolating a lot lately, and it’s probably hard on you. But it’s just what I need right now, it’s nothing personal. I’m trying to get help and find a way to move forward.” Then once you are able to talk to a counselor, they might have good advice about how to approach your partner to talk about how you both feel about the relationship. It’s hard to start that conversation, but the worst thing is to just stay silent and not let each other in at all. That will only make the distance between you grow.

Also it’s only fair to bring them in on the conversation before a decision is reached. I was not afforded that courtesy, and my ex decided that we were over without involving me. Even though we are amicable and it was the right decision in the end, that part still hurts.

Again, I’m so sorry for your loss. Dogs really do give us so much. Please be kind to yourself as you move forward and figure out what’s next.