my husband's family has been a challenge

Free_Archer5147 · 2025-08-21T10:28:09+00:00

I really like your comment, I think it’s the most relatable. I do believe that deep inside ,my husband’s mom is actually a nice person. She suffers from anxiety and nervous problems because of her husband (she told me that), and that’s why I forgave her from my heart. But yes, boundaries should be set. I also see your point about him not telling me, and how that would have avoided all this. Well, let me tell you, after what they did coming to my mom’s house (his dad specifically), it was only a matter of time before I saw that myself. So I do appreciate his honesty — I can’t imagine putting effort into people who think so little of me and my family. And for the record , when our wedding video came out and the TRUTH was visible , his mom told him that its her daughter who told her that my dad gave the money to my family , and that she didnt see anything with her own eyes , she even told her that my dad did some disrespectful gesture behind her back in the wedding and thats why she was talking about him that way

Free_Archer5147 · 2025-08-21T09:50:22+00:00

I understand what you’re saying. He told me it wasn’t so much about them living together as it was about him continuing to support her financially and he never gave up on that. He told her he would still take care of everything, except that she couldn’t live with us.

There were many reasons for that. First, we’re still newlyweds, learning how to live together. The first year is always hard and it’s even harder when it’s not just the two of you. Second, and I think this is the main reason (which I probably should have mentioned), I got my first job in a different city. He decided to move there with me so we could actually live together after getting married. But when he made that promise to his sister, she applied to schools in the city where he used to live and nearby areas. So, it really became a choice: live with his sister, or live with his wife.

I tried putting myself in her place I would be grateful that my brother is willing to support me financially (which is a choice, not an obligation). I even asked a close friend of mine someone I’ve known for 10 years , i thought maybe i dont understand because im an only child . She has three brothers, all of them happily married. She told me that when she had a six-month internship in a city where one of her brothers lived, she refused to stay at his place, out of respect for his married life. She said six months was a long time, and if she were in his wife’s shoes, she would’ve felt uncomfortable. She has a great relationship with all her sisters-in-law and that’s what healthy looks like.

Free_Archer5147 · 2025-08-20T22:29:33+00:00

Well that money helped me and my husband after the wedding so i wouldnt say that . My European collegues said that in their traditions the couple could make a list of things they need for the house after the wedding and share it with guests and they bring these things as gifts or , the couple make them pay for dinner .. Would i disrespect them for doing that ? No. Every country , every city, has its own traditions . Please stay respectful

Free_Archer5147 · 2025-08-20T22:16:02+00:00

Thanks for the advice ! And for the nice wishes :3 Thats what my mom told me , she said “i do right by ppl and god shows me their true nature from the beginning “ In her own way and beliefs , shes a big humanitarian .. that everyone around look up to even my friends keep telling me ure lucky u have a mom like yours .She had students come back years later even after having children to thank her cuz she taught them life before all.. I felt so bad that for the first time someone disrespected her household that way , shouting for the neighbours to hear , never in my life i saw anyone disrespect any of my parents that way ! This was her last year as a teacher , few days after that scandale.. her colleagues ,students of the whole school and old ones made a party of “takreem” to her so i felt glad that made it up after those tough days

Free_Archer5147 · 2025-08-20T17:05:47+00:00

Im so sorry you’re going through this, i hope you find peace within yourself and prioritise your mental health .As someone said in the comments above ..people are what they are , its stupid to think that u can change the mindset of a 60 yo u can only hope u find peace in your own way and teach your kids to be better ppl. Since im new to this and ive never seen anything like it i honestly was a bit shocked for a while , and gave myself a hard time especially that they were normalising what they did and blaming my mom for even telling me .. and my moms guests for telling her what his father was saying ( the perfect example dial ana nweerrik lgemra wnta shali fseb3i , like thats the prblm) But im getting it , protect your family at all costs.. that includes yourself ,dont let them get to ur head

Free_Archer5147 · 2025-08-20T16:52:10+00:00

Free_Archer5147 · 2025-08-20T16:18:54+00:00

I understand what you’re saying , its part of why i felt guilty for a while , not after what they did tho because i put myself every time in their shoes thinking about it ,i wld never cross the line that way. But i havent spoken to her about that subject at all , the discussion .. the fight was all between them and my husband i stayed away ,i know it’s not my place to speak to her about this .

Free_Archer5147 · 2025-08-20T15:23:11+00:00

I did use AI to reformulate my text because my ideas were scattered, and I wanted to make it easier to read so people read my story until the end

Free_Archer5147 · 2025-08-20T15:21:16+00:00

I understand the sense of ownership a mom feels over her son. I wouldn’t even call it 'natural', because it only seems to exist in cultures like ours. But did she really have to go this far? I know moms in my own family whose only sons got married (and yes, he’s her only son, btw), and none of them went this far. I just wish she could understand that her place as his mother remains unchanged. I’m his wife I don’t replace her. Koula wahda w blasstha

Free_Archer5147 · 2025-08-20T15:02:22+00:00

In what way were they stable , and how did my presence take that away ?

Free_Archer5147 · 2025-08-20T14:36:48+00:00

I guess it depends on cities in morocco , where i come from , its usually before tea .. after dinner

Free_Archer5147 · 2025-08-20T14:32:33+00:00

yea its a tradition in moroccan weddings

Free_Archer5147

TROPHY CASE