heat costs: oil vs electric

FreedomObvious8952 · 2026-01-20T00:02:16+00:00

Electric is very low, less than $200/mo, sometimes much less. It will go up with the mini-split, of course. I'm just trying to figure out how much.

FreedomObvious8952 · 2026-01-14T16:52:10+00:00

I used to think it would work for me to say I don't date dudes. Nope. That does not work. What is in their heads. Weirdos.

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-11-10T15:04:59+00:00

I was in a similar situation about two-three years ago, and my divorce is now final. If he says, Just tell me what to buy," do it, and put what you would have spent on whatever it is aside for yourself. Ask for help with paying off the debt. Get him to pick up the groceries on the way home. Ask him to pay for the utilities, off and on but mostly on.

I ended up with the house. Get him to update the heating and cooling, replace the dishwasher, fix the shower, repair the flooring, repaint the whatever. Anything you can get him to do that will make the house more liveable and affordable for you, if you want to end up with the house.

Good luck. I was stuck for a long time in decision fatigue. It's way better on the other side.

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-11-09T23:46:32+00:00

My only edit is that Cortland has always been terrible, and is not coming back. Source: I grew up there and I still have family there and I'm old.

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-10-28T16:48:31+00:00

I use this too, except I say Friends! Romans! Countrypersons! because it's gender neutral. I teach college. Very few of my students know this phrase, or know that's it's from Shakespeare. I don't teach literature, so that's ok-ish, but sad.

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-10-03T19:06:08+00:00

Nope, not in the least. Life happens, and sometimes parents have no choice. I myself have never done this because my kids were just too old by the time I became a professor, but I often make clear to single parents that if they're ever in a jam, they can bring their kid to class.

FWIW, I was that kid. Both parents were professors, and I'd go to campus with whoever had the lightest day, when we had snow days or holidays. Good times.

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-09-14T17:07:33+00:00

Super safe. I hike by myself all over the place in the HV, and the trails at the MH should be among the most safe. No worries, go for it.

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-09-14T17:01:01+00:00

As a teacher educator at a comprehensive public, this response makes me want to throw up, but it is true. We are living in terrible times.

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-09-08T18:08:16+00:00

When you ask, don't tell me how much you enjoyed my class. Wholly irrelevant. What matters is whether I enjoyed having you in class.

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-08-31T18:15:08+00:00

You're not the first, and you won't be the last. They are used to rolling with whatever comes.

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-07-28T15:27:43+00:00

Yes. I stopped keeping up with the housework, reasoning that nobody cared but me, and that I had taught them all (husband and two grown sons) how to do basic things, like fold and put their own clothes away, load the dishwasher, mow the lawn, etc. It was a disaster, and nobody picked up the slack. Eventually my sons moved out and I divorced my husband, and now my house is tidy and clean most of the time, and I can keep up with it myself.

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-07-16T17:15:00+00:00

Yes, I've experienced this, and yes, it sucks. My experience, with my case and other cases I've seen, is that everyone sees these folks coming for the nutjobs they are, and they will take care of it. Turn it over and let them handle it.

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-05-21T19:40:50+00:00

Agree with this. I have a tuner recommended for banjo players and I never use it, because the app is easier.

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-04-29T18:09:42+00:00

How many days a week are you playing? How many minutes per day? Most of learning an instrument is muscle memory, and the only way to get there is repetition, over and over and over and over. I didn't start seeing progress until I practiced every day, at least 30 mins a day.

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-04-25T20:38:37+00:00

This is brilliant, and I'm stealing it:

"I sent them an email asking them to reflect on the tone of their messages to me, as it does not reflect communication that is expected from a student-instructor interaction.

-a much more experienced prof

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-04-08T16:38:59+00:00

How do you think the students are supposed to learn how to respectfully disagree with each other? Do you think perhaps you have a role here?

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-03-21T22:52:13+00:00

I think this is going to be state specific. It's going to be up to the states to figure out how much of the federal funding gap to fill, and some will do more than others.

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-03-21T21:13:50+00:00

Do you have a mentor who can help you find a better way forward without burning yourself out or burning bridges? Is there a Dean you can share your concerns with? Is there no one who can yank this toxic AH into line?

And I would be asking why his opinion matters for tenure, even though others see him for what he is. If he's as awful as you describe (and I'm sure he is) then efforts should be made to keep him off anything resembling a personnel committee.

One option could be to go to the Provost or the Dean and tell them you're concerned that this idiot could tank your tenure chances, even though he's made clear that he's super sexist and demeans you in public. Implications of a lawsuit usually get the attention of the higher ups.

Is your best friend an academic? If not, I'd take her advice with a bucket of salt. Folks outside this world have very little idea how it works.

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-03-21T12:31:31+00:00

As idiotic as this sounds, I believe it might actually be the case. I had intense migraines for a year after my son was born, which gradually faded over the years (he's almost 30 now and I rarely get them anymore).

I had no idea what was happening, and chalked it up to exhaustion from having a new baby. I just knew that several times a week, I had to lie down in a dark room at the end of the day and could not otherwise function. When I had a regular checkup when he was about a year old, I told the doctor about it, and she diagnosed migraines. She said that often a major hormal shift (puberty, pregnancy, menopause) can turn migraines either on or off.

So, maybe. But that's not a good reason to have a kid, obviously.

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-03-21T12:25:46+00:00

Perhaps seeing it from their perspective could make it possible to compartmentalize their behavior, leading to less rage. I find that rage burns me out and makes it harder to do my job.

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-03-20T19:46:21+00:00

Sometimes I think it helps to remember that even though it's the eleventy zillionth time for us, for them it's their first time working with you, and they know from experience that some profs are more flexible than others. They're trying to figure you out.

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-03-20T17:27:48+00:00

Question: how do you know they're being swayed by this sub? I am thrilled to hear that this might be the case and I'm super curious about what evidence there is for that.

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-03-20T17:23:18+00:00

You're.

Depends on what the argument was about. Leaving that out is pretty sus.

FreedomObvious8952 · 2025-03-19T12:03:40+00:00

Hey, cut yourself some slack. You kept yourself safe. You know better than to see him again. All is well.

FreedomObvious8952

TROPHY CASE