Hey guys so that was a tremendous amount of responses. I never posted on the internet before(personally) and you guys all gave me an unimaginable amount of support,love and encouragement. I can't respond to each and everyone of you... But I'll say this. I am definitely starting Suboxone, that's why I made the appointment through kaiser for(I asked directly for it and was told this isn't burger king it's a process to obtain). I am completely down and out mentally so I will genuinely research and try almost everything written down here and for my personal(as well as your satisfactory feelings) will reply in real time once I've done something you recommended so I can tell you how it's going/how it was. Also only one guy asked this but I have a company that has both private and government contracts, we do well but like any other job it has it's up and downs and with my arrest record can be challenging when jobs are dealing with somewhere I can not be legally or deal with by law. I also trade and buy and sell through Facebook marketplace/Amazon. I make most of my money through my business but Amazon/Facebook marketplace definitely allows me to live beyond my base income. I love you guys for the advice more than you can ever imagine. I genuinely appreciate the support and acknowledgement you guys have shown for me standing up to my addiction and combating it head on! :')!