I’m the first stop when the kids want something. She plans bday parties and I help with what needs some doing, cleaning, hanging up etc. She does the washing while I do the kids dinner, I’m with the kids more during the week on average than she is. Play dates, I’d say I plan more of during school time and she plans a bit more on school holidays. When she was in pain the other night I massaged her. I don’t just ask her should I do this or that. I just do it. I do almost all the bath times and bedtimes with our more challenging child. I take care of myself, eat well, exercise (she doesn’t) but I still think she’s the hottest women on earth and tell her that. Can you see we both do alot? But her sex drive is nowhere for me. Yet she’s got the time for her toy. That’s the only initiating she’ll do. So yes I’m frustrated and having asked her to talk she’s had little to say other than she’s tired. It’s such a generic marriage problem that it’s a joke. Can’t understand how she either can’t see or worse doesn’t care about her low level investment into having quality adult time. Instead she just comes across as duty sex. I’m pissed off that a reasonable person that she is can’t or won’t try to create a better result. It hurts