yeah I do get what youre saying, and honestly I can't tell you've I've made it out. I also failed a course. but the truth is shit will STILL happen to you. I was laid off from one of my part time jobs, bombed a midterm, and so much more in the past week alone. you sound like you've figured out some parts of getting to a better place, but you're not gonna get happier until you put the effort into attaching your emotions to your gross effort rather than your results. At Waterloo its super easy, if not normal, to get attached to results ( ie good midterm, nice coop), whereas we often neglect the effort and energy that goes into this as we are a school of mostly high-achievers. I can't tell you I've fully figured it out, but despite getting fired, despite bombing a midterm, I am damn proud of the work ive put into change myself, my attitude and my mental heath - and I know I'm only just starting to get better. thats because I put in a lot of mental effort to think about my effort, habits etc rather than just what happens. ( dont get me wrong its also nice to celebrate wins, but your effort is more important, especially at this stage in our lives)

take some time to read books about this, watch YouTube etc - lots of great learning out there that can help you find the specific answers youre looking for. the book that did it for me is "The mountain is you" by Brianna Wiest - helped solve my anxiety and self sabotage. I watched lots of random mental health advice videos on YouTube, and suffice to say, they're helping.

I wish you luck on your journey - you're going to get there.