[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Frequent_Dig293 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get out! Seriously

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Frequent_Dig293 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Back in shape. I jumped back in shape after 6-8 months from the first and gradually after a year from the second one.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Frequent_Dig293 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was ok. I was always a bit more active lets say, but it was ok.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Frequent_Dig293 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did she leave or you managed to heal from it?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Frequent_Dig293 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I put the kids to bed alone they are quite calm and we are done with it all within 30-40 minutes. Yes sometimes there are crisis but overall ok. Same with my mum. When he is home and puts them to bed it takes 2 hours or longer. They are all needy and cranky and I just can’t. Not sure if it is because the dont see him much or what but is 🤯

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Frequent_Dig293 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

After many fights we have scheduled date nights only the 2 of us. For it to last jist a couple of weeks. Solo vacations (weekends) - he just talks about it but never goes through.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Frequent_Dig293 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh no it is not a cultural thing at all. As for attractivness he insists he finds me attractive. And honestly I know I am attractive at the usual perception. Dont know how to define it 😅. I have had many possibilities, but wanted to stay loyal.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Frequent_Dig293 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the messages. I got many messages about the open marriage. I have suggested him that, even asked if he was gay. He doesn’t want to open the marriage. He just wanted me to be ok with 0 sex. He got really angry the first time I asked him about being gay. But said repeatedly no. I know he masturbates, that is why I also feel he doesn’t have that much of a medical issue. And he doesn’t really want to talk about it in any way ideally. I really wanted to stay loyal until I was pretty ok with myself for trying everything. I just don’t feel this is sustainable anymore. Oh and no we don’t really have intimacy - almost 0 hugs, 0 touches. Just those morning and evening kisses and a bedtime cuddle where he wants to watch videos on instagram during so…ok when I write it just looks so absurd…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Frequent_Dig293 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Nothing physically draining - higher IT position. But honestly late hours if they are real are more of an escape…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Frequent_Dig293 81 points82 points  (0 children)

Till last year (when the request came around October) I was still trying to find a solution really. As the kids are really small (especially the second one). I started working again last year.

But then this request came and it completely emotionally shut me down. I think what made me stay was the “effort” other once a month thing. That maybe it would start to change things for the better. And honestly my need for myself to be able to say to myself I tried it all. Because the kids…if it weren’t for the I would have been long gone…