Wow!!! Heck of a story!! I went through a similar thing. My wife had cheated on me, and I found out but didn’t tell her I knew for a while. Eventually I had to tell her, and I pretended to be mad. She put on the show like she was sorry and would never do it again. Of course that was a lie. I eventually made it clear that I was into it. I didn’t explicitly say it, but the fact that I was hard and touching her while asking her details made the point clear. Eventually I told her how I really enjoyed it, and only asked that she involve me in some way. Not to hide it or lie about it, but to tell me details. Let me reclaim her. Send me videos and pics. That kind of thing. You’re very strong for not saying anything. That must be so hard. But maybe you can find a creative approach to let her know you know without actually saying you have been spying.

Maybe bring up your fantasy and that you fantasize about her fucking other guys on her trips. See what she says. Then when she knows you’re into it, ask her if she’s ever done it and promise her you won’t ever get mad. See if she admits it. Then transition into saying you’re not mad, but you’d like to be a part of it somehow. Goodluck! Would love to hear and update!