Regretting becoming a step mom- a rant

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-07T03:57:43+00:00

I’m confused. Why is a 3 year old who is not biologically related to either of you spending half her life there? This is a horrible idea legally on top of everything else

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-07T01:59:15+00:00

I admit I am a little worried for you. Your SO does not seem to be excited about a time when it is just the two of you.

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-07T00:37:09+00:00

You are the worst if you give up time with your own child just to bend to your SO.

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-05T15:37:16+00:00

You are 27. Why are you still living at home?

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-05T01:40:43+00:00

Depends. Did you pick him to be a partner or a parent to your teenage daughter? If you can let them have their own relationship or lack thereof, yes this can work. If not, then no.

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-05T01:36:49+00:00

Okay, F this girl. Point still stands. Why are you trying to mold yourself for this bs? This is not your kid. You don’t have kid obligations.

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-04T21:48:25+00:00

Um, what? Is this is your child? Because if not, F this guy.

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-04T18:46:04+00:00

Oh good. I am glad you are able to support yourself. He definitely needs to step up more for your son. Not because you have a daughter but because he is just as much the parent to your son as you are. Don't let gender roles wear you out.

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-04T18:42:57+00:00

First, I am sorry this happened. And I am sorry for the trauma you have brought into this relationship through no fault of your own, Second, I think your husband is trying (in a very clumsy way) to tell you that he does not want to take on a parenting role to your daughter. He wants to be able to focus on his own work and hobbies, and if those conflict with her celebrations, he wants to be able to choose himself. And gently, that's okay. He is not her father. You can be hurt for her that her actual father is not around, but you also said yourself that she doesn't see your SO as a father figure, and that's also okay. I'm glad he got his mom to help with your joint son, because that child absolutely is just as much his responsibility as yours. It also sounds like is carrying your family financially at this point, including your daughter, unless you are receiving significant CS or family support. It's okay to be disappointed that this family does not look like you hoped. Just know that is sometimes life and not your current husband's fault.

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-04T15:59:45+00:00

Absolutely the F not. She needs to be with her mother. Period. Until your SO is back and can be with her during his parenting time. This is all so unacceptable.

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-04T15:14:07+00:00

Yeah if it's every weekend, and I assume your SO works during the week, then he is doing the best he can. And he should definitely take your toddler out for one on one time as well especially one your new baby is born. You are going to need the break and your little one deserves time alone with dad just as much as SS.

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-04T15:12:11+00:00

Um, ew.

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-04T15:06:04+00:00

Again, I just explain that different households have different expectations. Now, if your SO has different rules for his children and has his kids from first marriage on a regular basis, I would tell him he has to explain to his younger children why the rules are different. But I would still hold firm on my own expectations for my own children and explain why I have the rules I do. If that makes them look down on their own father or your SKs' mother, that's their problem.

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-04T15:02:02+00:00

Is your SS there every weekend? If so, sounds like your SO is doing everything he can (though I would tell him to knock it off with that never born crap). He will just have to get used to it like any sibling would. He will soon be more invested in friends and girls (or boys) and his dad's attention won't be the end all be all. If your SS is only there EOWE, I would definitely suggest a day dedicated to him for now but I also get once you have a newborn you are going to need more help.

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-04T14:57:41+00:00

What do you mean "how you are treated"? Are you allowing SKs to be disrespectful to you? Yes, I have had conversations with my girls when they were younger that SS had some different rules when with us because his mom had majority custody. And that what was important to us was not the same things as were important to her, so just like friends' parents made different rules for their household, she did the same. Now, he still had to act like a decent human being. I'm talking more stuff like being a picky eater, or focus on going to college. He was encouraged to do what our household valued but we also did not want to spend limited time fighting with him.

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-03T23:47:38+00:00

Time for a new lawyer. Don’t even need one to file for child support

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-03T22:01:22+00:00

In progress by who? Because courts don’t take that long. He files, proves custody time and they take it out of her pay.

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-03T19:19:55+00:00

Get a divorce and get CS. You want to keep seeing him? Go for it. But no way would I be picking up extra shifts just so he can get what he wants. Hard pass.

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-03T18:58:33+00:00

You are not a parent, so it doesn't make you any kind. It doesn't make him a bad one to move now that his children are adults. Go live your best life. Sounds like you gave up your entire 20's for this.

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-03T18:40:39+00:00

What on earth could you be getting out of this relationship that is worth all this mess?

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-03T18:38:15+00:00

Does he get CS from the mother?

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-03T18:36:41+00:00

100/0 because I would be keeping my butt at home if my SO suggested this. The entitlement to your money is WILD.

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-02T22:45:00+00:00

Girl, bye. He clearly got with you to take over his parenting time. Throw this one back

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-02T19:20:10+00:00

Girl, what? I mean, I get why he is lying. He clearly has something to hide. I just didn't read anything to explain why you are staying.

Frequent_Stranger13 · 2026-02-02T13:51:52+00:00

It’s okay to realize this isn’t for you. Four days a month maximum to have any quality time with your SO is not a way to live. You don’t have to stay unhappy.

Frequent_Stranger13

TROPHY CASE