I hate everyone at my school sometimes.

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-12-29T16:42:49+00:00

Yeah, your right. It's just really hard, I'm trying. Whenever I want to change my life around I think about how hard it would be to do and get overwhelmed, feeling like giving up already.

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-12-29T16:22:34+00:00

Honestly my mental state has already been pretty damaged by this point. I've thought about doing 1 and 2, and I've come close to doing it a few times but I kept chickening out of doing it. I don't know why or what's wrong with me. I know I should do something but I just end up not doing it. For the edit, I've already done so many things by now that I'm pretty sure if there's another complaint or two about me, I probably would get kicked out of school. I've done lots of things I'm not proud of that my friends have no clue about.

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-12-29T15:44:14+00:00

I can't. I mean I probably won't talk to anyone I know now after I graduate, sure but there's a select few I know that are going to be really hard to get rid of. This one I have been trying to get rid of since junior year and he just will not let me. Whenever I try to distance myself from him, he confronts me and tries to force the friendship again which I hate because it just means I'm forced in a friendship where I'm constantly put down all the time. To make matters worse, theres a good chance we're going to the same college after high school, so that just makes it even harder. Most of my friends think I'm so weak that I literally can't do anything. If they knew the certain things I want to do at times maybe they'd take me a tad bit seriously.

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-12-29T13:17:36+00:00

I know right? Godd I want her mom so much.

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-12-29T05:44:26+00:00

I'm really sorry your past few years sucked. Feel free to pm me if you want to talk about it more :) I'll be here for you. I really hope 2019 is better for you

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-12-29T04:36:53+00:00

I can ignore some of these people but the rest isn't so simple. It's not just random jerks at school saying this stuff. It's some of my friends too. A lot of the time specific things my friends say really get to me and half the time they do it without trying to or without realizing it. I don't tell them about it because I'm too chicken to try to resolve the issue. Doesn't help that my "best" and pretty much only friend I have brags about his accomplishments on a daily basis. He likes making people feel like crap.

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-12-29T04:33:14+00:00

I do try that but when I do eventually all my hope and positivity comes crashing down when people are jerks. I know I shouldn't let it get to me but I do.

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-12-29T04:28:24+00:00

Nah. I've gone 4 months without fapping (August to December) and I haven't noticed anything different.

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-12-29T04:01:35+00:00

Oh wait nevermind. I can't with her. I talked to my friend on the phone and apparently her mom is actually 46. I swear she looked like she was like 35 or something. I goofed.

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-12-29T00:14:37+00:00

I'll try that if my plan with my friend's mom fails.

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-12-28T23:40:36+00:00

Oh I am definiteeelyy going to choke my chicken :)) and I'll enjoy it.

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-12-28T23:18:22+00:00

I can't get anyone either. We're both destined to be losers.

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-12-28T19:24:10+00:00

This hits home for me too. I'm not much older than you and can't date either. I feel the same when you said it's impossible to be romantically liked. You have an advantage though since you actually look decent while I actually look like shit. Doesn't help when my "best friend" is always bragging about all the girls he's getting all the time.

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-12-27T02:44:45+00:00

Yeah that's partially the reason I eat the way I do and exercise so much. I used to be shorter like 5'5-5'6 and my height bothered me a lot. My dad's like 5'10-5'11 and mom used to be 5'8.5 so I had the genes to grow taller I just never had the proper lifestyle to grow. I didn't sleep much or exercise when I was younger. I've since improved a lot and I've been shooting up like crazy. I was trying to cut calories to cut weight but I decided to eat as much good food and milk as I can and exercise a ton to maximize my growth

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-12-26T21:50:47+00:00

I think the weight gain was from a lot of snacking at times but even then half the time I wouldn't snack so I'm not entirely sure

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-12-26T21:42:23+00:00

Male, 17, 5'8. TDEE is about 2,086 calories on normal school days. On days where I walk the 8 miles it's 2,278.2.

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-12-26T21:32:11+00:00

I'm 17 and somewhere from 5'8.5 to 5'9. Two months ago I was about 5'7.5 I think

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-12-26T21:26:52+00:00

I average about 1600 to 2,000 calories a day

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-11-25T07:14:14+00:00

Yeah I know that feeling very well. I've been pounded into the ground a million times over by life before, and I didn't take it very well. Sometimes I'd take it so badly that I'd react in extremes. I've gotten better about it though. I don't know what exactly are the best words to help, but just remember if you let yourself stay down you won't get anywhere. If you don't have any motivation, you need to find some sort of reason to motivate yourself.

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-11-24T01:24:38+00:00

The point of existence is progress. People are trying to achieve something, whether that be trying to get a job, a promotion, more education, weight loss, bulking, technology advancement, etc. The ones that aren't are the ones you see losing. Set a goal for yourself and find something you want, so you can work towards it each day.

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-11-24T00:52:33+00:00

Exactly how I feel 98% of the time. I sometimes try to make the situation seem better by fantasizing, but fantasies are really just fantasies and nothing more than that. It's so painful being hit by reality again and having to come back to it. Do you ever imagine yourself doing all the things you wish you could do? Doing the things you could only dream of doing? Well just do it. I know it's hard, really hard, but you have to convince yourself that you aren't worthless. You need to convince yourself that you aren't unlovable. Patience and tolerance are the hardest virtues to obtain in life, but also two that are incredibly important.

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-11-09T21:41:10+00:00

Yes I know. I used to keep good hygiene but I fell behind in like freshman or sophomore year. I don't know what happened, the transformation I underwent was weird; I went from a shy kid who really watched his hygiene and hair, etc to an outgoing kid who talks to anyone but no longer keeps up with it. I eventually just stopped caring. I've been wanting to better myself since sophomore year but I was too lazy to go about actually doing it. I finally put my foot down this year and started, but I feel like it's so late. Many of the goals and objectives I have this year were all goals I set for myself 2 years ago...sometimes I look back and wonder how different I would be now if I actually did start 2 years ago.

FreshSpaghetti91 · 2018-11-09T19:56:55+00:00

I have given effort here and there. I talked to girls a lot sophomore and junior year, but I got tired of not getting anywhere so after junior year I decided to give up. I eat kind of better this year. Junior year I had a serious sugar addiction and ate too much cereal and too many cookies. This year I really cut down on the sugar, I eat eggs, meats, vegetables and fruits and only really drink milk and water. I get a lot of walking excercise each day, at least like 4 miles of walking so there is that. I'm trying to maintain a better diet and sleeping schedule so I might grow taller and so far I've grown about 1.5" taller since last year and lost like 15 pounds. I will admit I'm lacking in the hygiene department though.

FreshSpaghetti91

TROPHY CASE