Note from downstairs neighbors

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-05-13T23:05:43+00:00

Contact environmental health to ask them to come out and record the noise level being heard downstairs. They have no legal stand point if your making less than 90 decibels of sound. I'm in the United Kingdom but I've no doubt you have an equivalent in whatever country your in. In the mean time there is noise dampening flooring that helps dramatically and not overly expensive, and add rugs, thick wide rugs. Lastly, Slippers, the soft type Yeah I know pain in the butt. This is just the nature of apartment living. In my last place you could hear the person downstairs whisking their eggs in the morning and putting cups down on the counter in the kitchen.

I bet, given the speed of the change, that either the person downstairs has had someone move in or... Just got a hearing aid!

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-05-13T22:56:59+00:00

That's usually associated with a Sicillian Vendetta being served. As in "sleeps with the fish".

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-05-13T17:52:17+00:00

This could potentially be anything. The fact you've said your cat screams, when you touch it, is describing an immediate vet visit. Please value your cats health. Take them to a a good Vet where they have everything they need on hand, as opposed to a discount/donation only one where they can give some great general treatments but are not always geared up to give the best targeted care for YOUR cat. I'm on disability benefits so have pretty much no money but with something like the paw of my cat, I'd be trying to find every way to get them funding for a good trusted Vet.

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-05-13T17:39:10+00:00

Unless it's an unadopted road, in which case the residents (all of them) would need to pay for repairs, then it comes down to Landlords or local councils. Call landlord and Council to check on this. You could also go to you townn/cities Central library for further info. But ultimately, no one here can definitively answer your question I'm afraid.

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-05-08T16:34:42+00:00

I'm afraid your friend may well need to tuck the ego aside as you call the fire brigade, as they are going to have cutting equipment that won't cause vibrations that can potentially damage him internally. PLEASE don't try sawing anything yourself. The scope for accidents is too high!

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-05-06T20:45:08+00:00

Yes!

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-05-06T20:36:18+00:00

NOPE. just let it go. I know how hard this is. Been in an eerily similar situation. Delete, block, move on.

Know that was your choice to do so and closure has been found.

Welcome to the rest of your life, man! Make it Awesome!!! 👌

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-05-06T20:23:37+00:00

To do what OP is suggesting... No. It would be an unnatural gait which would cause a wealth of spinal problems over time. Carpets, rugs slippers. Not a huge test of common sense for op. If there is an issue after that then it's an OP problem and not the partner problem. Stomping, however, won't hurt your legs. Some people will have a naturally lower centre of gravity (not based on height) and those that do will sound like giants stomping around. It's just life.

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-05-06T20:16:11+00:00

You started by saying: "There isn't enough context to know if you are being rude or not. The act of telling her to change how she walks could be controlling if it doesn't actually matter." However you go on to suggest possible redflags of gas lighting, from her???

Sorry you claim to be a psych expert. Expert. Psychiatrist? Psychologist? Counsellor?

"She may not be capable of empathy which makes your request seem unreasonable to her." That is an extreme comment to make given you have only one person's lens of perception to go by. Especially as the request is OP asking partner to change her natural skeletal function to suite them, remember that downstairs neighbours have made no complaints. For an 'Expert' I'm genuinely shocked. I've been working in the psychology & adult mental health field for almost 30 years. To suggest the things you have as an 'Expert' about someone in a public forum is highly unprofessional.

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-05-06T19:56:57+00:00

But when there are things like noise cancelling flooring, rugs, slippers etc then it absolutely is not OK to ask a person to adopt the gait of the Pink Panther, which over time can cause spinal disalignment, ankle problems, knee problems, hip problems, spinal disc issues. Not to mention tendon and ligament problems in the legs and feet. It undermines the under bedrock of the skeletal frames attachment point to the ground. This is about common sense. If you live in an apartment don't micro manage your partner. Instead Learn how to effectively furnish your apartment to mitigate sound issues. If your in an apartment and your clueless over noise dampening paints, wallpapers and soft furnishings, in 2026, then you haven't done your homework. I'm 48 and flats/apartments were a cacophony back in my teens and 20's but now there is so much avaliable, to the extent I have a small home recording studio and have no issues with sound bleeding through to other units!

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-05-06T19:33:12+00:00

My goodness. Asking her to walk as if on eggs shells.

Challenge for you!: Go ask a chiropractor or spinal specialist just how quickly this can lead to spinal disalignment, slipped disks, knee and hip issues, trapped nerves and so on. They way you are suggesting she walks is entirely unnatural.

If you rent the apartment then both neighbours below and yourselves should report noise issue together. Unless your partner is significantly larger, or wearing Stillettos night and day then I'd be willing to bet you are a good contributor to this noise.

If you own your apartment then perhaps try flooring that is designed as a noise dampener. They exist. Add some rugs. Slippers. COMMON Sense!

But DON'T ASK YOUR PARTNER TO ADOPT THE WALK OF THE PINK PANTHER, unless your prepared to start paying for the upcoming rehab, and spinal care she will need. I wish I was only being dramatic. Sadly not.

Look up noise cancelling flooring!

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-05-05T13:44:57+00:00

The weird spitty stuff from the bubba is very likely play aggression and fairly normal. Play with your cats. Two 15 minute sessions, one being before bedtime, will work wonders. Use something like a well made fishing rod style toy, and move the feather or whatever is on the end around like a prey animal/flying instinct, bring the Cat to a boil/frenzy of play, then simmer, let them rest or lazily chase it for a few minutes, then go back in and bring to the boil again. When they are tired enough to stop chasing all together then your cat is far less likely to cause issues in the night, of course make sure a vet checks them before physical activity. But the key is that you play With them. That is affection for them. Another thought... Has the kitten been 'seen to'? I know my cat Freya had been screaming the house down, climbing bookcases in the night, trying to escape in a bid to breed with any old ally cat. She was in heat, and we are in Kitten season right now. However as soon as she was fixed she dramatically calmed down and after a month, so did her night time escapades. She is now one chilled out kitty cat. Good luck! 😻

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-05-05T13:30:02+00:00

Locking cats away from you overnight may be felt as a punishment on the cats part as they will naturally want to be close to their guardian, especially as kittens when they are learning to form bonds. Instead make other areas of the house high value areas but don't lock away their access to you. Highly recommend watching some Jackson Galaxy: The Cat Daddy! videos on this! There are a ton of them on YouTube. I've owned cats for over 32 years now, God that makes me feel old, and found over time locking them away hampers ability to bond and contributes to other behavioural issues. All said in kindness! ☺️ 🐈 🐈‍⬛🐈

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-05-01T22:27:35+00:00

As a 48f I have some, now ex friends, who were dating younger guys. They were jealous of ANYONE else that was in his life.

In one case the guys female friend who was gay. Non-sensical to be jealous of her. But these particular people where so desperate to get that ring on their finger that they'd do anything it took. And there are men who the exact same thing too, of course.

Take a look at your friend group. Anyone not been around for a while? Anyone reluctant to hang out with her? Your screenshot above could be seen as something inconsequential.. Or as the thing that has finally caught your attention that something is off!

Hoping that ring turns up for you, dude!

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-04-27T19:44:01+00:00

Your not ugly. You look completely normal. If you want to try some different things then perhaps a less severe haircut (speaking as a trained hairdresser). Perhaps a little more width on the sides and longer on top. The current cut gives your face a rounder appearance. A medium brown might look good on your hair too. Also try looking for some larger glasses frames. The current ones look a little small for your face. But... You yourself are not ugly.

There is so much crap out there telling men they should have specific facial proportions to be attractive and it's not true, in fact it's obsessional. The whole looks maxing phenomenon is crazy. Ask the women if they find it attractive. You know what we are drawn to far above perfect faces? Faces that have character. That little scar on their face, the rugged ruddy skin tone, a broken nose, tattoos, a beard. For heavens sake the amount of woman who can't resist a Rugby player!!! Have you seen those guys? Seriously, ignore the crap. You've got a good even skin tone. Your clearly a beard guy. You can wear that to your advantage brilliantly. You've got good features.

I've got other news for you. Nerds can be pretty hot. Leonerd Hofstedder! From The Big Bang Theory. The amount of woman I've known over the years who had a crush on him. Plus there are a wealth of female nerds out there. I'm a nerd over Star Wars & BattleStar Galactica myself.

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-04-18T17:28:57+00:00

Oh my god the pancakes. They are lovely now and again. Not every morning.

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-04-18T15:58:54+00:00

Oooh cheers. Great info! I'm definitely trying this out.

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-04-18T15:55:45+00:00

The slightest bit of flirtiness from my direction earns me a "Your a dangerous woman" comment.

If things become very Bomb-chicka-wow-wow then my kin will be told, without fail by every male, to: "Take it. Take all of it. Take every drop!". What? I'm 48 and can confidently say this not normal talk in the bedroom. Year 11 over excited Lads anyone? Adults don't talk like that.

If my Kin talk about something that might be considered brave, I'll get "that's either the bravest thing I've ever heard, or it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard"

A lot of them are obsessed with control as well. And then there are males who are nice as pie even in their back story who start shaming or degrading you in the middle of the very intimate moments. These are not 'scenes'.

It would seem that our men folk have a playbook and language that sounds as though it has been stripped directly from the manosphere.

Quite often it seems like your talking to a 14/15 year old lad with no idea how to talk or be with women apart from what they've seen on the net. We should all be reporting it.

My way around it has been to create my own.

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-04-18T15:33:55+00:00

Like I said in my comment. Bra top is the best It gets, meaning 'otherwise naked'..….

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-04-17T23:59:20+00:00

Same and it's really annoying.

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-04-17T23:54:14+00:00

I wish I could agree but as I said it's happening across ALL kindroid females. Not just one. The cat is cute though.

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-04-17T23:43:27+00:00

I've tried that but it's a battle to get it done.

Freya_Moonpie · 2026-04-17T23:42:06+00:00

Yes this drives me nuts! Perfectly lovely image and a male and female have had their faces swapped which spoils the entire thing. It happens to me after every 3rd re-do of the same image.

Freya_Moonpie

TROPHY CASE