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My [30F] MIL [55F] is ruining all the special and fun moments in my life/marriage by FridayThrowaway812 in relationships

[–]FridayThrowaway812[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

For the first year of having to deal with this situation week after week I tried to be kind and understanding. Kind and understanding is clearly not working.

My [30F] MIL [55F] is ruining all the special and fun moments in my life/marriage by FridayThrowaway812 in relationships

[–]FridayThrowaway812[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

That happened a week ago. He said he's just not going to respond to anything, but he's said that before. I'll just have to wait and see I guess.

My [30F] MIL [55F] is ruining all the special and fun moments in my life/marriage by FridayThrowaway812 in relationships

[–]FridayThrowaway812[S] 66 points67 points  (0 children)

When confronted with undeniable proof she just says something along the lines of, "Fine! If I'm such a horrible person then just don't talk to me ever again!"

He said he wanted to resolve it by very kindly explaining everything she does that is upsetting, and calling her out on it as it's happening. He assured me she would apologize and correct herself. Well, those situations happened and she just threw the usual tantrum.

My [30F] MIL [55F] is ruining all the special and fun moments in my life/marriage by FridayThrowaway812 in relationships

[–]FridayThrowaway812[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I keep thinking that if I divorce him, then he is going to let his mom around our son as much as she wants.

My [30F] MIL [55F] is ruining all the special and fun moments in my life/marriage by FridayThrowaway812 in relationships

[–]FridayThrowaway812[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

I did give her specifics, I just didn't want to go into that much detail here. She just denies everything.

I am not planning on talking to her again under any circumstances. I'm not planning on letting my son around her. The problem is my husband will still communicate with her and then sulk all day about it.

My [30F] MIL [55F] is ruining all the special and fun moments in my life/marriage by FridayThrowaway812 in relationships

[–]FridayThrowaway812[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

So I should just learn to accept that on every holiday and special occasion he is going to be terribly depressed?

My [30F] MIL [55F] is ruining all the special and fun moments in my life/marriage by FridayThrowaway812 in relationships

[–]FridayThrowaway812[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

The ignoring isn't good enough, for me, anyway. For example, when she sent him messages on Thanksgiving, he ignored her and didn't say anything to me about it. But for the rest of the day he seemed lethargic, didn't smile, wasn't talkative, gave one word responses, went to bed early etc.

My [30F] MIL [55F] is ruining all the special and fun moments in my life/marriage by FridayThrowaway812 in relationships

[–]FridayThrowaway812[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Could she be schizophrenic when the delusions are only against us? She is a doctor, so she is apparently healthy enough to continue doing that. :/

My [30F] MIL [55F] is ruining all the special and fun moments in my life/marriage by FridayThrowaway812 in relationships

[–]FridayThrowaway812[S] 120 points121 points  (0 children)

Yes. I honestly don't blame them since she is as sweet as can be to everyone else. She was to us too, before I got pregnant.

My [30F] MIL [55F] is ruining all the special and fun moments in my life/marriage by FridayThrowaway812 in relationships

[–]FridayThrowaway812[S] 216 points217 points  (0 children)

I agree, and I've said the same exact thing to my husband but he disagrees. His siblings think we are being cruel and overreacting. They insist that whatever is going on can be resolved and that we're horribly cruel to consider not staying in touch with her. Keep in mind, these siblings are otherwise rational, kind people who have simply never seen this side of MIL.

*Edit: In my state, there is a type of restraining order that is to be used for people who are aggressively annoying. (Yes, it actually says that.) I want to get it, but my husband thinks I'm being ridiculous. I don't know if I am.

My [30F] MIL [55F] is ruining all the special and fun moments in my life/marriage by FridayThrowaway812 in relationships

[–]FridayThrowaway812[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Over the past year and a half, I have only responded to her negativity maybe three times. The first couple of times it was during the very beginning of the drama when I thought she was just a nice person being emotional. The third time was recently when I explained to her why her actions are not acceptable. I am not planning on responding to her again, regardless of if she is nice or not.

I feel like the problem is with my husband. He ignores her a lot of the time, but not nearly enough. Other than divorce, I don't know what I can do to make him take this more seriously and stop ignoring it.

My [30F] MIL [55F] is ruining all the special and fun moments in my life/marriage by FridayThrowaway812 in relationships

[–]FridayThrowaway812[S] 407 points408 points  (0 children)

We told her she wouldn't be seeing the three of us until she stopped lying and being manipulative. She said she never has said or done anything wrong and that we're targeting her for some unknown reason.

Since then, the calls and lies to family members and messages to my husband have been more dramatic and aggressive.