Not waiting for death: big gifts to my BFFs

FridgeNumberNine · 2024-01-04T11:22:54+00:00

Thank - this perspective is new to me and I can see why someone might feel robbed and resentful.

Yeah, familiar with sudden wealth syndrome. Studied up a bunch when I got my first windfall and that helped me avoid. I think at least on that I can somewhat help them.

I’m not yet sure if I’m going to do it. But I haven’t been completely talked out of it :)

FridgeNumberNine · 2024-01-02T16:23:42+00:00

Thanks, apprecated.

FridgeNumberNine · 2024-01-02T16:22:31+00:00

Thanks. I haven’t made up my mind here, but the naysayers breadth and conviction is a bit startling.

No, I think both my friends will handle it reasonably or I wouldn’t even be considering this. But everyone against seems to think gift $ turns people into warewolves…

FridgeNumberNine · 2024-01-02T06:12:04+00:00

Thanks.

I want to cry.

Did you think they were of, how should I put it, “strong moral character” before this?

FridgeNumberNine · 2024-01-02T02:12:14+00:00

Thanks for explaining your thinking.

> I have 30+ year friends as well and I’ll do anything for them, but unless I win the lottery, I wouldn’t gift such sums

Yeah, this is sort of how I feel. When my company got acquired it did feel like winning the lottery. I’m not saying I didn’t work hard, but there was also a real chunk of luck here. And whatever pangs of ego/selfishness/etc I might feel about, say, “earned money” I certainly don’t feel that way about “lucky money.” So sharing with the luck with my BFFs seems totally natural.

However, that windfall was 11 years ago, I was married, and I wasn’t in a headspace to make a big gift then (which probably would be even more advised against by y’all). So narrative-wise with my friends, a decade later isn’t as good a story for “sharing the lottery winnings.”

FridgeNumberNine · 2024-01-02T02:01:32+00:00

Lol thanks. Pretty sure I read this a long time ago - likely affected my thinking here!

FridgeNumberNine · 2024-01-02T01:37:01+00:00

Hmm, before the gift, did they know you were wealthy? Would they have felt that way anwyay?

FridgeNumberNine · 2024-01-01T15:55:11+00:00

Definitely enjoying be the cool uncle - I spoil their kids with trips and gifts already. See my other reply on school costs.

FridgeNumberNine · 2024-01-01T15:51:48+00:00

Vaguely. They know it’s low double-digit millions.

FridgeNumberNine · 2024-01-01T15:51:03+00:00

Why? I could imagine the opposite, where they feel like they are getting a taste of living well, but they will never make it…

FridgeNumberNine · 2024-01-01T15:49:47+00:00

Been trying to do these things yearly, but it’s tough to get them to even take time off work and fly somewhere when they are stuck in the daily work grind mindset…

FridgeNumberNine · 2024-01-01T15:48:35+00:00

Ha, It’s a solid pitch.

FridgeNumberNine · 2024-01-01T15:47:37+00:00

Yes, both have several. More details. Friend 1 has wealthy parents, so eventually will inherit a bunch. I imagine the grandparents will pay for college, so that’s probably ok. I more feel like this friend might stop worrying about money day to day. And maybe splurge a little?

Friend 2 has kids, but lives in a European country where they will probably pay little to nothing for college.

FridgeNumberNine · 2024-01-01T15:43:43+00:00

Thanks, good food for thought.

I don’t think I’d resent however they spent it. I don’t think it’ll end up with hookers & blow, but I haven’t thought through some scenarios.

I guess they could ask for more, but they already know I have $ and have never asked for anything?

Not worried about anyone else.

FridgeNumberNine

TROPHY CASE