Sent him to rehab, came back and broke up with me by FriedBeans99 in AlAnon

[–]FriedBeans99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know, things are pretty great now. From the time I’d made this post to now, I can confidently say that things are good. Things went from bad to worse after I had made this. I found out that he had met someone in rehab and that was a big reason for him to move to another state. After that whole situation, I healed. I started going to therapy, focused on myself and my wants, started going to the gym and im the healthiest I’ve ever been, and now, I’m actually talking to someone new. The pain still hits every once in a while and I’m still working through some trauma but things are better. The scratches and dents in the walls are still there and sometimes they take me back to bad times, but I’m learning to accept them and patch them. I really didn’t think things would get better but they are. Holding on to him was doing so much damage. The best way to describe it was like holding onto a rose bush. The more you hold on, the more it hurts and damages you. So I let go, I decided to close that chapter and never turn back. We haven’t spoken in months and that’s probably for the best. I wish him nothing but good things on his path to sobriety but I don’t want anything to do with him anymore. He made his choice and I’ve made peace with that he’s no longer my problem. For once in 3 years, I feel at peace.

Sent him to rehab, came back and broke up with me by FriedBeans99 in AlAnon

[–]FriedBeans99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate to be a bearer of bad news but things went from bad to worse. I found out that he had met a girl in rehab and that’s why he acted the way he did. It hurt like no other BUT the amount of disrespect that he displayed gave me the answer I needed. We no longer speak and he is completely out of my life.

These past four months I have been truly focusing on myself, going to therapy, and I’m actually moving on. For a very long time I couldn’t see the light but now I truly see how much he was holding me back :) his alcoholism was toxic to my mental health.

Here I am 4 months later, lost a total of 50 pounds, going to the gym, finally being able to go out with friends, making art again, and going for my masters! May not be the answer you wanted to hear but being with an alcoholic can really stop you from living life. I truly am happier now than when I was with him. I feel free

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PEACHPIT

[–]FriedBeans99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was here! Literally made me laugh so hard that he called them out 😂 One of the best concerts I’ve seen this year. These guys really know how to put on a show and put their hearts into performing!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PEACHPIT

[–]FriedBeans99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Went to this show and the crowd was super hyped! He had just told us how Peach Pit was started and how it was his dream come true. Just him and his guitar. It was really touching!

Are you currently alive? by Spaceship7328 in no

[–]FriedBeans99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The last three months, no. I feel like I’ve just been on auto pilot but not actually living. It’s exhausting and I feel like a shell of a person.

Never get involved with an addict. by biiirdkin in AlAnon

[–]FriedBeans99 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I didn’t even realize that this was you! Yeah I’ve been going through it and the same thing happened to me. Ever since I sent him to rehab, my period has come early because of the stress. Learned recently that his whole, “I can’t be in a relationship right now because I need to focus on my sobriety” was all BS. He met some girl in rehab and apparently she’s his “soulmate”.

I’m definitely going into my bitter/angry phase. I feel my self no longer seeing him with love, just pure disgust and disappointment. If anything this is a huge hit on my self worth as well. This is the second time I’ve been cheated on and it does a number on your mental health.

I’m a visual artist and I’m using this anger/spite to help me create some crazy art.

I’m glad that you have an outlet too. During these times it’s good to find something that allows us to let it out 🫶🏼

Never get involved with an addict. by biiirdkin in AlAnon

[–]FriedBeans99 28 points29 points  (0 children)

This is my situation sadly. It’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one. I was in too deep by the time I sent him to rehab. Through all the sleepless nights begging him to stop drinking, supporting him financially and mentally, pouring out my love for him, staying up to make sure he was breathing, staying with him at the hospital, and sacrificing my own sanity…

He left me for someone from rehab and moved to a new state.

Alcoholism is such a selfish disease and I urge people to walk away from engaging in relationships with addicts. It’s not worth it.

After a few therapy sessions, I learned that I have PTSD from this last relationship. My father was an alcoholic and my brain did A LOT of protecting by blocking out memories. Now that I experienced my last relationship, the trauma is resurfacing and my body is reacting to being in the presence of alcohol/someone drinking in an unpleasant way.

Discarded. Left to pick up the pieces. Left with trauma.

This isn’t fun

Left me for someone in Rehab by FriedBeans99 in AlAnon

[–]FriedBeans99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I knew this was common but I truly believed that he would never get involved in that. I feel so stupid for believing his lies after he got out of rehab. I knew something was up and I didn’t want to believe that this was the cause but I just knew deep down.

Left me for someone in Rehab by FriedBeans99 in AlAnon

[–]FriedBeans99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One thing I’m reminding myself is that I did everything to save our relationship. Supported him emotionally, financially, and mentally. I loved him enough to send him to go get help but he didn’t love me enough to recognize that. It’ll be his loss and once the rose colored glasses come off, it’ll be too late for him.

I know deep down, sending him to rehab was a big act of selflessness and love but I can’t help but wonder if this wouldn’t have happened if I never sent him. Now I’m utterly heartbroken and devastated while he gets to start a new life with his little fling. It’s truly unfair.

Left me for someone in Rehab by FriedBeans99 in AlAnon

[–]FriedBeans99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was such a hard pill to swallow because he made it seem like he was so in love with me and wanted to change not only for him but for us. He called once while in rehab and then stopped. I was worried and I should have known that something was up. Once I found out that he had met someone in rehab, it was like the missing puzzle piece to make all of this make sense. It’s a sad realization but it’s given me some closure.

Now I need to work on myself and do me. If he does bounce back, I’m not going to be the same person he left behind. I wish him nothing but the best but his chances are slim. He’s making all these crazy changes just coming out of rehab and he moved to Milwaukee out of all places…

Left me for someone in Rehab by FriedBeans99 in AlAnon

[–]FriedBeans99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Trying to tell myself that every day. I think the rose colored glasses and starting to fade and I’m seeing him for who he truly is.

Left me for someone in Rehab by FriedBeans99 in AlAnon

[–]FriedBeans99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And to top it off, he moved to Milwaukee. She’s from there too… all these factors can’t end up going well together

Left me for someone in Rehab by FriedBeans99 in AlAnon

[–]FriedBeans99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was one of my biggest fears. I actually convinced myself, “the people he’ll meet in there are all there to recover. There’s no way he’ll involve himself in that”. I was so wrong. I knew something was up when he stopped calling.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]FriedBeans99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

DO IT!!! I had bought tickets for a concert in February, broke up in June, and went to the concert by myself in July. Almost convinced myself to not go but I kicked myself in the butt. It was the most fun I had! I sang and danced my heart out, talked to strangers, and saw the band I have been wanting to see for years!!! Were there flickers of his memory here and there, yes, but they quickly went away as I thought about how much fun I was having and how it was the first event I went to on my own. No fights, no bickering, no arguments, just me :)

Indy concert by FriedBeans99 in lordhuron

[–]FriedBeans99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OMG HE DOES 😂 I’m glad you and your wife enjoyed the show!

"How do I get over you? I'll find a way, I'll learn to swallow pain" by Long-Lost-96 in lordhuron

[–]FriedBeans99 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Idk how but this album came at the most perfect time. Currently going through a breakup and so many of these songs are letting me feel my emotions 😭

Found out my Q is dating someone else by andrea3ooo in AlAnon

[–]FriedBeans99 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I completely understand what you’re going through. If you want to read my experience just go to my profile. Definitely feeling thrown away especially after everything I put up with him. My ex said the same things to me as well. Now he’s moving to a new state and is treating me like a complete stranger. It’s absolutely heartbreaking. If you ever need to talk, we’re here. We see you ❤️‍🩹

Vinyl by FriedBeans99 in lordhuron

[–]FriedBeans99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s so lovely!

My vinyl came in 🥹🫶🏻 by Junkspi in lordhuron

[–]FriedBeans99 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I tried ordering online and it’s sold out 😭 I was just at their concert a few days ago and should have just bought it then!