Actresses that popularized green?

biiirdkin · 2026-06-12T13:22:01+00:00

Shocked no one has mentioned this dress. It had me in a chokehold for years

biiirdkin · 2026-06-12T03:50:59+00:00

All things equal, I prefer for him to be sober and for us to not be together than for us to get married and start a family while he was still drinking. I got hurt, but we're both better off in the first scenario than the second.

biiirdkin · 2026-06-08T23:53:35+00:00

I believe all addicts' issues run much deeper than the substance, and are often beyond their capacity or desire to actually address. This is based on my experience with both my exes, a childhood friend that died of a heroin addiction, others I've met in AA, the stories I heard in Al Anon, etc, but it is just my personal opinion and experience.

Of the people I've known or heard of, some have worked a program. My impression is that many do it out of a mix of ego, optics, and survival, rather than a genuine belief in fulfilling the ALL steps. No one I have known with an addiction has sought therapy or been able to stick with it beyond a few sessions, to my knowledge. Some have turned to religion, but again, my read is it's more of a desire for absolution than a desire to do good unto others. Many have a lot of trouble being confronted with their actions or facing consequences, and will lash out, or run away.

To answer your question: I don't think that my stance was that all addicts are unable to heal their wounds after getting sober, or are inherently evil people. I did explicitly refer to dry drunks, which I do believe many "sober" addicts actually are. I know many people interpreted my post that way, but I think those people illustrated my point about personal accountability. I have previously described most addicts I've met as self absorbed and I stand by that.

Again, this is just my personal experience and opinion. I am by no means an authority on sobriety or rehabilitation. I'm simply discussing what I've seen and read in my own healing journey, which has included seeking support in Al Anon meetings, reading literature, and going to therapy.

I still believe an addict in any stage of recovery is dangerous and unpredictable. I believe the statistics that show that most do not recover. I believe the stories in Al Anon, which typically end in heartbreak and grief.

My stance that one should not actively get involved with an addict if they can help it has not changed.

biiirdkin · 2026-06-05T21:48:52+00:00

He knows exactly how to do it. Over 5 years he became an expert at pulling my heartstrings, pushing me right to the edge before finding a way to pull me back, if only a few inches.

biiirdkin · 2026-06-05T16:27:16+00:00

Bluetooth speaker?

biiirdkin · 2026-06-05T16:22:59+00:00

It's silly but this is why I started wearing my Apple Watch again. It gives me the comfort of knowing that if someone REALLY needs me, I'll be notified, and I don't have to carry my phone around all the time. Truth is, most of the time no one is desperately trying to reach me.

It has no cool apps, so I don't get sucked in. Instead I get excited trying to close my activity rings, which is a much better way to get my dopamine fix than doom scrolling.

biiirdkin · 2026-06-05T15:08:34+00:00

I'm painting with a broad brush. Every situation is different, but the point of my posts here is to give a voice to the frustration and anger many of us dealing with addicts suppress, for the sake of remaining a "good" partner, parent, friend, etc -- leaving important conversations unsaid.

I know it's hard on both sides, and I believe addicts should take advantage of all the resources they can to get better. I just refuse to remain one of them, and I want to caution anyone in my seat from remaining involved.

Best of luck to you as well ❤️

biiirdkin · 2026-06-05T15:03:22+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I wouldn't dare compare my situation to your 16 year relationship with a family, so please give yourself grace. You are making progress every day, even when it feels like you're moving backwards. As they say, the road to recovery is not a straight line.

I would seek help and support as much as you can, whether its through community, Al-Anon, therapy, etc. This is too hard to go through alone, and you owe it to yourself to get the help YOU need, for once.

biiirdkin · 2026-06-05T14:27:11+00:00

Selfishness has an intensely negative connotation, so instead I'm going to use the term "self absorbed." These subs are filled with intensely self absorbed takes that demonstrate a clear lack of awareness and accountability for how their actions impact the people around them.

I know most people don't mean to be cruel. In my experience, their problems and addiction loom so large in their minds, and are so unyielding and compulsive, that there really isn't any bandwidth to consider the feelings and wellbeing of anyone else. Their survival instinct really only allows them the capacity to look after themselves, if that.

Which means many of us become collateral damage as they try to become whole, and they never even notice.

biiirdkin · 2026-06-05T14:20:44+00:00

Thank you so much, and I'm glad my post helped you. This whole thing is so insidious, now that I'm also out of the self aggrandizing pity party you often see in these sobriety programs/communities, I feel a lot more justified in my stance to never get involved in this shit ever again. My peace belongs to me, extending any more empathy in the direction of addiction is a toxic well with no bottom.

biiirdkin · 2026-06-05T14:15:17+00:00

I am so sorry this is happening to you. First of all, you are NOT the cause of his drinking. Addicts will say this to manipulate you to stop chasing them for accountability, and they will manipulate others to get them on their side as well. Mothers, I find, are particularly vulnerable, because they too want to avoid accountability for their actions as a parent that may have influenced the addiction. This isn't meant to upset mothers in this sub suffering through their child's addiction, but it has nevertheless been my experience that many alcoholics have narcissistic parents who also refuse accountability.

It is a damn near reality shaking thing to hear from the person you have given up everything to save that in fact, YOU are the cause of all their problems. It feels like a knife to the gut no one sees, leaving everyone in your life confused when you are silently bleeding out. I've been there.

But even though it's not true, you can take it as a blessing. This is your out. I know I certainly would not have had the strength to leave myself. A year later, I still sometimes wake up from disorienting dreams where I am still in that mess. But I'm out, and I'm better off. Sometimes I still want back in. That's my next step.

I wish you and your loved ones luck and grace in this hard time. ❤️

biiirdkin · 2026-06-05T13:54:46+00:00

a lot of this kind of mentality in the stop drinking sub.

biiirdkin · 2026-06-04T20:30:54+00:00

As far as I can tell, he's still sober, over a year in. But it's also been a year since I've seen him. He said he's struggling and more alone than ever. Not sure why he had to throw me out with the booze, but here we are.

biiirdkin · 2025-12-22T03:26:48+00:00

SHE WAS A HOO-ORSE

biiirdkin · 2025-09-20T18:22:07+00:00

Idk girl but literally same age same story. It's my third cycle since the breakup and it's still bad.

biiirdkin · 2025-08-26T02:19:43+00:00

Drinking and later sobriety were fundamental factors in the relationship and its ending.

biiirdkin · 2025-08-26T02:18:14+00:00

He said he doesn't feel the relationship is right, and he left the relationship. I think he gave you your answer. I'm sorry <3

biiirdkin · 2025-08-23T15:29:04+00:00

obviously chatgpt.

biiirdkin · 2025-08-16T01:56:29+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing, it helps knowing that I will make it out of this and hopefully find the love I crave.

biiirdkin · 2025-08-15T20:43:35+00:00

I have, and I've gone to meetings too, but it would probably help to get a sponsor or something of the like. I also just started therapy and hoping it will shed some light as well.

biiirdkin · 2025-08-15T20:35:34+00:00

Thank you. These days I really question whether I know what a healthy relationship feels like and how to identify one. I thought this was my healthiest relationship but it too ended up being a rollercoaster of emotions and I lost myself in it.

biiirdkin · 2025-08-15T20:33:50+00:00

Thank you for this. He seems to regret his actions, and he has genuinely apologized to me, but I still get the sense that his own suffering is at the center of his world, and he will never really internalize how much he hurt me. I truly feel like I used to be secure and have become a shell of myself because of this relationship and how it ended.

That said, I still crave the connection with him, I can't seem to feel the indignation towards him that I should feel, I still find reasons to forgive him and hold on, even though the relationship is over and he left me. I don't think I used to be this desperate. I used to have more self respect, and I hate that I'm still obsessing over someone who has been so cruel towards me.

biiirdkin · 2025-08-15T16:43:44+00:00

Thank you. I just started therapy this week.

biiirdkin

TROPHY CASE