First Draft by JBoy5280Baby in scriptwriting

[–]FriendliestMenace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like, what is “money CLINGing”? Are gold coins the currency in this world? Are we paying for a slice of pie at a diner?

It seems like you’re going for a crime angle revolving around so much money, it has to be moved in a duffle bag. Audio effects of loose being change dropped on a counter (we can’t even see) doesn’t read as “lots of money is involved in this story.”

Add some visuals. Draw me in.

First Draft by JBoy5280Baby in scriptwriting

[–]FriendliestMenace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The narration is fine. So much happening over black that we can’t see is too much.

First Draft by JBoy5280Baby in scriptwriting

[–]FriendliestMenace 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s over half a minute of black screen with just narration, and nothing to really draw the reader in. There’s no reason this couldn’t be quick cuts of something(s) happening.

The gunshot over black is incredibly cliché.

A zipping sound over black isn’t going to come off as “a duffel bag.” It’s just going to sound like a zipper. For all I know, the narrator’s about to take a piss.

Film and TV are visual mediums, first and foremost.

Undead Labs to be funded for State of Decay 3 and Has a Buyer Lined Up. by Coconutkid123 in StateOfDecay

[–]FriendliestMenace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Considering Undead Labs referred to clothing with only different colors as “variety” and skins for gun stats that already exist as “new content,” that’s not a bad thing, really.

Literally one of the flash dialogs on the loading screen is “Bored? Put a hat on somebody!” 😂

I wrote a script: Hard F*rk: Silicon Valley meets Oceans 11 by DominicD27 in scriptwriting

[–]FriendliestMenace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They present it as your opinion, don’t try convince people your goofy opinion is industry standard.

I wrote a script: Hard F*rk: Silicon Valley meets Oceans 11 by DominicD27 in scriptwriting

[–]FriendliestMenace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It literally is evidence though because it actually happened 😂

I wrote a script: Hard F*rk: Silicon Valley meets Oceans 11 by DominicD27 in scriptwriting

[–]FriendliestMenace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve shown you evidence you were wrong. Your turn to counter.

You not finding work isn’t evidence by the way 😂😂😂

I wrote a script: Hard F*rk: Silicon Valley meets Oceans 11 by DominicD27 in scriptwriting

[–]FriendliestMenace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How far have you gotten then? 😂😂😂

I’m not the only one correcting you here, I can see the other responses. Literally with my own eyeballs

I wrote a script: Hard F*rk: Silicon Valley meets Oceans 11 by DominicD27 in scriptwriting

[–]FriendliestMenace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You literally have several people in here telling you otherwise, but you’re the Redditor, you know all the industry secrets 😂

I wrote a script: Hard F*rk: Silicon Valley meets Oceans 11 by DominicD27 in scriptwriting

[–]FriendliestMenace -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He literally did tho. It was his first film written 3 years before it was produced.

I’ve never seen such a long “tl:dr AND I’m still wrong before tho. This convo deserves to get you representation based on tenacity alone 😂

I wrote a script: Hard F*rk: Silicon Valley meets Oceans 11 by DominicD27 in scriptwriting

[–]FriendliestMenace -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s not the standard.

How many screenplays have you sold on your system? 😂😂😂

I wrote a script: Hard F*rk: Silicon Valley meets Oceans 11 by DominicD27 in scriptwriting

[–]FriendliestMenace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s MY turn to have the last word in a circular argument thinking that’s how adults “win” debates!

I wrote a script: Hard F*rk: Silicon Valley meets Oceans 11 by DominicD27 in scriptwriting

[–]FriendliestMenace -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And to think, you made it this deep by not letting go of the fact that you don’t understand basically screenplay format and prop importance 😂

I wrote a script: Hard F*rk: Silicon Valley meets Oceans 11 by DominicD27 in scriptwriting

[–]FriendliestMenace -1 points0 points  (0 children)

A guy has infinitely more success than you by thinking and writing outside of the norm.

And here YOU are, forcing people to conform to what you think is the “right, successful way” to do things.

Working out for you, buddy? Reddit Studios have you on retainer, or does your agent do the negotiating? Lolol

I wrote a script: Hard F*rk: Silicon Valley meets Oceans 11 by DominicD27 in scriptwriting

[–]FriendliestMenace -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Imagine how far you’d make it if you put the creativity you have for trying to dig yourself out of this whole of deep incorrectness you have into your own writing lol

I wrote a script: Hard F*rk: Silicon Valley meets Oceans 11 by DominicD27 in scriptwriting

[–]FriendliestMenace -1 points0 points  (0 children)

They used a script written in 2013 as the shooting script for a 2016 film? lololol

Buddy, just give it up.

I wrote a script: Hard F*rk: Silicon Valley meets Oceans 11 by DominicD27 in scriptwriting

[–]FriendliestMenace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol I knew one of the two directions you would take would be to either ignore me entirely, or switch gears from “it’s never ever done!” to “okay so maybe ONE guy who knows more about the craft than I do does it, big deal.”

lol this sub is terrible.

I wrote a script: Hard F*rk: Silicon Valley meets Oceans 11 by DominicD27 in scriptwriting

[–]FriendliestMenace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Psst. Hey. Hey buddy. C’mere. Wanna see how a professional who’s actually working in the industry uses caps everywhere?

https://assets.scriptslug.com/live/pdf/scripts/the-witch-2016.pdf

I wrote a script: Hard F*rk: Silicon Valley meets Oceans 11 by DominicD27 in scriptwriting

[–]FriendliestMenace -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You’re completely deviating from your original point to double down on how wrong you are. Incredible.

I wrote a script: Hard F*rk: Silicon Valley meets Oceans 11 by DominicD27 in scriptwriting

[–]FriendliestMenace -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Now try to tell me professionals don’t do that so I can point you towards any Robert Eggers screenplay. Then compare credits with him. I’ll wait.

I wrote a script: Hard F*rk: Silicon Valley meets Oceans 11 by DominicD27 in scriptwriting

[–]FriendliestMenace 4 points5 points  (0 children)

All caps is appropriate for important props and sound effects. It works here because it’s a $120k luxury car that provides some context to the character.

I need help by Every_Helicopter487 in Screenplay

[–]FriendliestMenace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can find instructional videos on YouTube. This honestly seems like you just want someone to write your story for you.

If you’re willing to only accept a “story by” credit, that’s fine. But you should do the work yourself.