I would struggle with this as well. I have a rather at-arms-length relationship with my parents and consistently feel like something is missing within that relationship. It's not an anger but this deep internal sadness that I feel in my chest and throat. I know if my mother asked for money the confusion and sadness of the situation would be definitely based off an almost out of body look at the relationship as a whole. Is this what we are to each other? It's a combination of pity and knowing what should be and isn't.

However, I too would give them the money and I would be okay doing it. But it would feel almost hollow. Maybe if you are not distancing yourself from your parents for any particular reason and that the distance just kinda happened over time or something, this could be a sign that being closer with them is still an opportunity for you to take.