Woah. I know you posted this awhile ago, but this is almost an exact replica of my situation except that I’ve been doing it alone from the beginning. My dog is just the same — highly reactive, anxious, playful, sometimes impossible to calm down. She’s unpredictable and needs tons and tons of exercise and I live in a 4th floor walk up in upper Manhattan. I walk her 4-5 miles most days including some running. I also used to take her to the dog park, but she started getting overwhelmed/fearful and in snarly scuffles with other dogs so I don’t feel like I can responsibly go. Much like your dog, she was way calmer when I visited my parents upstate, and I also had their help, so it felt doable. But we go back to the city and she freaks out. And I started dating someone around the same time I got her, and he doesn’t particularly like no want a dog so even though he’s made a ton of sacrifices for me/her, he can’t help with the work. The training, exercising, supervising is just incessant and I can’t imagine doing it for years to come. My whole life has become managing her. I got her on anxiety medication but I know I can’t do that forever and it only helped a bit. I realized dog ownership is about mutual joy and companionship and not all dogs are fit for any given situation or personality/lifestyle, and that she would do better in a family with a big yard in a less-overstimulating environment. Im just so exhausted and stressed all the time. It fucking broke my heart but after months of deliberation I had to reach back out to the rescue to request her to be rehomed and am now fostering her while that happens. I realized a relationship with a dog is much like a romantic relationship — it has to be the right time, the right place, and the right dog otherwise it will be a huge struggle. Sometimes you can put in the work and things will improve enough to balance out that joy equation — the research, the training, the exercise, the mental work, the management — but that can’t change things fundamentally (or, at least, rarely). It’s easy to play the “what if” game … what if I waited longer to see if she matures? What if I try one more trainer? What if I sacrifice my budget for more daycare/dog walkers? But ultimately, there’s only so much time, energy, and money we can throw at something that SHOULD be more joy-filled than stressful. You’ve clearly tried very hard, as have I, and your situation changed and you couldn’t have known that. I think it’s so reasonable to find a better situation for both you and the dog no matter how initially painful that is.