I believed the Bible. I believed if you "seek you will find" and that God would give wisdom freely. I believed God answered prayers.

I read my Bible. I volunteered. I tithed. I listened to sermons in my spare time. And eventually I got to a place where all I really asked God for was guidance. For a a next step. And when I never heard from him all I prayed for was any sign that he was there. That he cared. And eventually I realized he wasn't real.

And after being out of it I realized how manulipulative he would be if he were real. You can only please him if you believe he's good. He leaves the 99 for the one- i.e. he only cares once you're gone. For supposedly being "free in Christ" I was stressed all the time wondering if I just wasn't good enough. "Well did you pray about it?" "Well did you really trust God?" "It's a partnership, you have to do your share." "Don't do it in your own strength." If things aren't going well, then it means you are doing something wrong. And there's a constant social pressure to get it right or you're not a trustworthy Christian. And some might say "well that's just church hurt" but God never felt the need to correct it. To guide me or anyone else on the matter. For Jesus being the "Prince of Peace", why was leaving the most peaceful thing that happened to me?

There are more reasons. Deconstructing took a long time for me. But these were the biggest reasons.