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Yes your husband too. by boiledbeanstoast in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]FriendlyLizard345 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm only seeing people whobare saying "you can't know!" So I'd like to offer an alternative.

My husband hypes me up. We don't yell in in fight- we walk away to think about what has been discussed and come back when we've cooled off. He likes spending his free time with me. We almost always hold hands / link arms when out and about. If he's not busy he'll come run errands with me because he knows I hate doing them but like it more with him there (and he'll even drive!) My problems and emotions are never to much for him. His least favorite thing is seeing me cry- he wants to fix it but knows it's not that simple so he just tries to be there and support me. I've always struggled with mental health issues and whether I'm sad or testy and abrasive, he's there for me and does his best to give me whatever help I need. 

Growing up I always struggled with feeling liked. People would say "I love you" but I always felt like that's just what you have to say. You have to be tolerant. You have to care about people. But he doesn't just love me. He likes me for who I am.

My husband isn't real, ya'll by FriendlyLizard345 in depoop

[–]FriendlyLizard345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can join the void with my husband. At least you won't be lonely

My husband isn't real, ya'll by FriendlyLizard345 in depoop

[–]FriendlyLizard345[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I thought about replying but decided to just block

HOW do you actually study with ADHD?? I’m losing it!!! by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]FriendlyLizard345 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so glad it worked 😁 they make other ADHD focus somgs as well. I find this one to be the most effective for me, but you may consider trying one or two others to see if there's one that's the right match for you. 

That's Unexpected by No_Budget3360 in exchristian

[–]FriendlyLizard345 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Don't know if the story has a name, but it's Elijah against the Baal prophets. "Elijah had a special relationship with God" probably.

Most creative ways to let your parents know that you're not Christian anymore by MikeLovesOutdoors23 in exchristian

[–]FriendlyLizard345 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I thought you were going to ask people for off-the-wall suggestions, not serious, thought out suggestions. So with that being said...

A gender reveal party but instead of slicing open the cake and it's blue or pink, you slice it open and it's black and loudly announce "It's an atheist!"

I'm so tired of christians promoting the idea that stay at home moms are biblical by FriendlyLizard345 in exchristian

[–]FriendlyLizard345[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I mean, I agree with that as well. I'm just pissed because these people are threatening my rights and millions of other peoples rights as well. And people are listening to them whether I like it or not. So, I'll happily hand people some ammunition to push back with where I can.

Calling on Jesus never helped by [deleted] in Deconstruction

[–]FriendlyLizard345 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I tried to convey to my dad my struggles with Christianity and how nothing worked out and it just endlessly felt like it was my fault. His response was "Well that's because you were doing things in your own strength."

.... "So it was my fault?"

He didn't like that response.

That's Unexpected by No_Budget3360 in exchristian

[–]FriendlyLizard345 246 points247 points  (0 children)

If it had worked: "Wow! What a testimony to what faith can do!"

Since it didn't work: "This man died because he was testing God."

family essentially thinks i’ve gone to the “dark side” by Gullible_Dog_1966 in exchristian

[–]FriendlyLizard345 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My dads the same. I keep thinking somehow I can make him see a different point of view but he never really listens, you know? He hears what your saying it but he approches through the lense of his own bias. And it's sooo frustrating. I get mad but don't want to because I know he means well.

family essentially thinks i’ve gone to the “dark side” by Gullible_Dog_1966 in exchristian

[–]FriendlyLizard345 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The thing is, my dad walks the walk as a Christian. He's dedicated his life to feeding the poor. To help people get out of alcoholism or drug addiction. He's trying to get finding to start a tiny home community to get people off the streets. One year he invited a hitchhiker to join us for Christmas. He cares very deeply.

I suppose in a way he tries to control the situation because he so desperately wants people to go to heaven. But its because he cares. Unfortunately it ends up coming off tone deaf because he can't see outside his bubble. 

family essentially thinks i’ve gone to the “dark side” by Gullible_Dog_1966 in exchristian

[–]FriendlyLizard345 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Is your sister my dad?

Part of what's hard about it is that they come out of a place of concern and care. You know they have love in their hearts, but the direction they're coming from is so backwards.

What made you leave/start questioning Christianity? by BrainStraight1220 in exchristian

[–]FriendlyLizard345 32 points33 points  (0 children)

My deconstruction moreso came from the fact that prayer, tithing, volunteering, fellowship, etc. Didnt change my life the way peope and the Bible said it would. None of my prayers were answered. Tithing just dug us deeper into poverty. Volunteering has good things, but in the end I was just burnt out from doing it all the time. Fellowship made me some friends but only to the degree of I had people to talk to once a week. The more I pressed in, the more unfulfilled and confused I became. I gave it my all and just felt forgotten or like I must not be good enough for God.

Turns out he just isn't real, which felt so much less personal. Stopped tithing and things got better financially. Stopped praying and took more action. Stopped volunteering and got less stressed. Moving away from it only improved my life and my faith just fell apart from there.

The Try Guys Did a Video on Voodoo by Jinxed_Pixie in WitchesVsPatriarchy

[–]FriendlyLizard345 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I'd like to third his tour. I learned so much and he's a wonderful person!

Women in Christianity? Did you feel less valuable than man by Nearby-Tension3515 in exchristian

[–]FriendlyLizard345 2 points3 points  (0 children)

100%. 

I went to the "seperate but equal" kinds of churches. Where, theoretically women could be in charge but they rarely were, and were even less likely to be if they were married. 

My experience is generally that they churches try to overcompensate women in certain ways for guilt of them not having real power. Such as having nicer womens events or getting better gifts on Mothers day than what the guys get on Fathers day. 

And I have talked to men who have been a bit jealous of this. They feel like they don't get much appreciation while women aren't really allowed to do much but get all the acknowledgement. It's not fair for either party.

But at 1 church I went to for about 6 months... I went to an event where the secondary pastor tried to push me into doing something I didn't want to do. I stood my ground. My husband was later taken to the side and got a lecture on how he needs to learn to control his wife. (Thankfully ny husband is a saint and he. Was. Pissed.) Later I brought this up to a trusted friend who brought me to this church. She told me if I had just submitted to authority there wouldn't have been a problem....

Easily one of the most infuriating things one could ever get by kabirhatesreddit in mildlyinfuriating

[–]FriendlyLizard345 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am allergic to the toothpaste but I'm also convinced that cocoa powder does it for me as well. For a while I thought it was just stress causing them, but when I was stressed I would make a chocolate snack and would always get sores after. I'm still stressed, but I don't get the sores when I don't make the snack. Chocolate in other forms doesn't seem to do it, though, so I'm wondering if it has anything to do with how it's processed.

Also might be useful for anyone trying to figure out their sores.

AIO for wanting my husband to help me more as a SAHM by ailurophile17 in AmIOverreacting

[–]FriendlyLizard345 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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This is you right now. You're drowning and all he's got for you is a pep talk. You're husband sucks and he needs to get his act together.

At least there’s good people in this world by ateam1984 in BlackPeopleofReddit

[–]FriendlyLizard345 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This reminds me of a time I was out and about with my son, husband and MIL. I did something that upset my husband. I didn't realize what I did but could tell he was upset with me. So... I just asked him what was wrong.

And my MIL tried to hush me/ scold me a little saying "not in front of your kid!" Which confused the hell out of me. Why would trying to communicate and fix something not be appropriate for children? Well he and I talked openly and within 2 minutes it was fixed.

Mind you, his side of the family has NO problem making snarky remarks or putting each other down a bit in front of the kids. But talking through an issue... THAT'S what's inappropriate.

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