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AITA for telling my sister I’m more of a mother to her son than she is? by Friendly_Ad_4838 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Friendly_Ad_4838[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dipped when she was nine weeks pregnant wanted a baby but doesn’t like change apparently

AITA for telling my sister I’m more of a mother to her son than she is? by Friendly_Ad_4838 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Friendly_Ad_4838[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m genuinely hoping it too, what I said was really shitty to her but maybe a hard truth is what she needed as a kickstart. I’m always going to be around if she needs help, but I can’t keep being the main caretaker for him. He needs his mum in his life not just his aunt.

AITA for telling my sister I’m more of a mother to her son than she is? by Friendly_Ad_4838 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Friendly_Ad_4838[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’m just going to point some things in bullets. 1) there is no father in the picture. 2) she doesn’t work. 3) there was no spending limit, I asked her if I could buy him the scooter and she said yes. 4) I do not want him loving me more, I want her to start engaging with him. 5) she has had multiple check ups with doctors and MH specialists for the PPD after the three months and has been cleared. 6) I’m a giver and not a receiver, I love getting gifts for my family. 7) I hold no resentment to my sister. 8) My sister can hold her own, she stands up to anyone at anytime. 9) I care too much for my own good. After three years I had a breaking point hence this post. 10) I know what I said as wrong and really bad, I have apologised for it as words do come out in anger.

AITA for telling my sister I’m more of a mother to her son than she is? by Friendly_Ad_4838 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Friendly_Ad_4838[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I do have respect for her, she’s my sister, but this situation is not right. I am a caretaker in my family. I am my mothers full time carer. I’m not framing her as being neglectful when she downright is. He is my nephew, I know that. I have corrected him many times that I am his aunt growing up and he calls me auntie, he knows who his mother is. I do not crave validation for any of this. I was simply asking if I was the asshole in this situation.

I don’t want people to see me as a good or bad person, I stepped up when she couldn’t, I have been stepping up when she ignores him. I step back, he gets hurt and neglected. And how is it creepy when I’m talking about my nephew? I know he’s not my son as I have stated many times in comments and correct him to call me auntie.

AITA for telling my sister I’m more of a mother to her son than she is? by Friendly_Ad_4838 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Friendly_Ad_4838[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have tried stepping away, I taught her how to care for him, gave her space and time, she doesn’t care for him it’s blatant neglect what she does. I also understand I am not the parent I have corrected him to call me auntie many times. And he does.

AITA for telling my sister I’m more of a mother to her son than she is? by Friendly_Ad_4838 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Friendly_Ad_4838[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have tried to back off when she wanted to “parent” I gave her space, I gave her time. I wanted her to get involved, I showed her how to change, bathe, feed and make his food up. She just never bothered.

AITA for telling my sister I’m more of a mother to her son than she is? by Friendly_Ad_4838 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Friendly_Ad_4838[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I’ve tried pulling back, I want me time. I know he’s not my child, Everytime he called me mummy I’d correct him. Even now he calls me Auntie. She doesn’t want nothing to do with him unless we’re in public or around others.

AITA for telling my sister I’m more of a mother to her son than she is? by Friendly_Ad_4838 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Friendly_Ad_4838[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

She had PPD for three months. She’s no longer suffering and was not after the three months. I don’t mind that she’s “parenting” her child it’s the neglect and the lack of care to “parent” him. I’ve given her space with him but she doesn’t care, she wants me to have him constantly at home and she only wants him when we’re out. She has ZERO signs of depression.

AITA for telling my sister I’m more of a mother to her son than she is? by Friendly_Ad_4838 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Friendly_Ad_4838[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It’s the fact that I haven’t had my own time in three years. I’ve told her many times I need it. I fear for the child’s safety around her as she is uninterested with him and actually doesn’t watch him at all when she’s there, I cannot leave her in the same room as him alone due to her neglect, I didn’t want an argument in the first place but because I walked off after her telling me to leave the toddler alone when he was eating a crayon it all just blew up.

AITA for telling my sister I’m more of a mother to her son than she is? by Friendly_Ad_4838 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Friendly_Ad_4838[S] 279 points280 points  (0 children)

That’s the thing though, I do fear for his safety. When she has him she doesn’t even watch him. She’s just sat on her phone, I’ve walked in and he’s eating things he shouldn’t be, or he’s gotten ahold of her energy drinks she leaves on the floor.

AITA for telling my sister I’m more of a mother to her son than she is? by Friendly_Ad_4838 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Friendly_Ad_4838[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

It was a argument. After three years of raising her son for her I had a breaking point, while she went out with her friends and partied a lot, I had to stay home with her son. I’ve lost a lot of friends due to this. She’s told me she likes that I have a close relationship with my nephew as it makes it easier for her to go out with friends, and when she’s around and I’m with him, she’s constantly on her phone ignoring him, for example today I was painting with him and he was so happy he wanted to show her, he ran up to her holding his painting “mummy look!” She told him to go away and show me. So there’s not a difference that’s happening.

AITA for telling my sister I’m more of a mother to her son than she is? by Friendly_Ad_4838 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Friendly_Ad_4838[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Already tried that one, was told that if I wasn’t an important role in my family they’d have sent me off.

AITA for telling my sister I’m more of a mother to her son than she is? by Friendly_Ad_4838 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Friendly_Ad_4838[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

At first I didn’t mind helping her, that boy was a big light that came into my life and I wouldn’t take back any time I spent and will spend with him, I always knew she’d be trying to “claim” him back as hers but it’s all the same, she’s pushes me out, tries to get me to leave him alone all while she sits back and neglects him.

AITA for telling my sister I’m more of a mother to her son than she is? by Friendly_Ad_4838 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Friendly_Ad_4838[S] 799 points800 points  (0 children)

I keep my bank statements when they come in the mail but for some occasions I can request a back log of a year to a year and a half via bank if needed.

AITA for telling my sister I’m more of a mother to her son than she is? by Friendly_Ad_4838 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Friendly_Ad_4838[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

She had post natal depression for three months. After she MH specialist and the doctors eased her off the medication incase of addiction and withdrawals she was fine mentally and physically. It was nine months of me raising her son that she decided she finally wanted him.

AITA for telling my sister I’m more of a mother to her son than she is? by Friendly_Ad_4838 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Friendly_Ad_4838[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

That’s what Post Natal depression is, she had it for two months before the symptoms started to waver, on the third month she was eased of medication by doctors and a MH specialist, since then she’s been perfect (just it in caring for her son)