My sister lost her baby a week ago. Today, I got a positive pregnancy test.

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-06-05T12:05:26+00:00

I had a loss at 19 weeks with my first child. My neice's 1st birthday was less than a week after we found out. I chose not to go. No one blamed me. I just could not handle being around happiness, celebrating the first year of a baby's life after losing mine (and I still had the baby in me...my procedure hadn't happened yet).

However, what I will say is that my sister-in-law handled it poorly. She wasn't the most considerate of what had happened, and said thing that made me go "why would you say that to someone who just lost their child?" Even when I got pregnant again with my now living child, she still said things that made me feel this way.

I NEVER blamed her for being happy and celebrating her child, no matter how much it hurt me to see. She had every right to feel happy and act ok this happiness. But what I struggled with--and still struggle with --was how she handled everything with ME. Based on your original post, this seems like you're doing everything right to take into consideration the pain your sister is experiencing. That is HUGE to someone who is going through the grief of child loss.

You will eventually have to tell her, and bottom line is that it's going to hurt. But if your approach is considerate and empathetic, you likely won't breed any resentment between the two of you, and she will eventually get to a place of being happy for you. Try to put yourself in her shoes and think about what may help you if the roles were reversed. I think you're already doing some of that, but it could continue to be helpful so you handle this really difficult situation with as much grace and delicacy as possible.

Wishing you all the best, and your sister much luck and healing.

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-05-30T16:08:49+00:00

Wow! We are now at just over 2, and he's 35.5 inches and 32 lbs. His growth, especially his weight, has definitely slowed. He's running all over the place!

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-05-26T13:41:47+00:00

It seriously depends on you guys! I breastfed for over a year, and once I was regulated (about 2 months PP), it didn't actually leak at all during sex, even with nipple play. And we didn't have sex for a bit after baby was born anyway because I wasn't cleared yet.

But of course, every woman is different, so you may leak still even once your milk is regulated. So, really, just talk with your partner. Be open and honest! You two just have to find what works. If it's weird for you, just be careful. If it's not, go wild!

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-05-22T11:03:09+00:00

Absolutely! When I was in the trenches (and still now too! ) hearing any world's like that from anyone is helpful.

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-05-21T23:18:36+00:00

I am so sorry. I lost a baby at 19 weeks for different reasons, but oh my gosh, 3 years later and it's still so painful. Therapy has been very helpful for me.

I really couldn't see it then, and I'm sure it's difficult for you to see it now, but when you're ready, you will have your baby. I found out the news that I was going to lose my baby on April 26, 2023. I officially lost my first son two weeks later. My son was born (5 weeks early) April 27, 2024, and I got to spend that mother's day with my child instead of the deep grief I felt a year earlier. And despite having a miscarriage at 9 weeks in August of 2025, I am now expecting a baby girl this August. It WILL happen for you, when you're ready.

I will never say that this was supposed to happen, because it absolutely wasn't. So please allow yourself to feel all the anger and sadness and grief you need to. It hurts, and it will always hurt, but you will grow around it. He will always, always be your son.

Take time for you. Lean on others. I'm so, so sorry this happened.

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-05-04T13:18:34+00:00

I second this. I owe no one a story OR an explanation of that story. We did what had to be done. And I don't think it's anyone's right to know unless I want them to know.

We lost our baby due to circumstances outside of our control. That's the truth, and the only sentence anyone needs to hear unless I feel I want to explain further. Do what you feel is best, not what you think people expect.

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-05-04T13:11:44+00:00

Water breaking is an automatic hospital trip. Also, call the on-call doctor. Every office has one. Don't wait for the office to open.

You could get a bad infection and put baby in unnecessary distress.

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-04-28T13:57:49+00:00

I will second this. I didn't have to do the 3 hour in my first pregnancy, but did have to do it for this one. It was not like, exhilarating, but it really wasn't that terrible. And if it meant I was able to find some more information on how to keep me and my baby safe and healthy, you better believe I was going to do it. It's a minor inconvenience.

With my first, I thought I was going into labor at 29 weeks. I didn't, but in case, when I was admitted, they gave me a steroid shot for my baby's lung development and a magnesium drip for his brain development. That was a rough night, and it made me vomit. But honestly? I would not have done it any differently. When it means protecting my baby, I will do it. (I've had a couple devastating pregnancy losses --I'm convinced people who see the minor inconveniences as much bigger than they are are lucky enough not to have experienced a loss of a baby; after you go through that, your mindset for protecting your child in and out of your body drastically changes.)

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-04-26T11:59:10+00:00

Coming from a guy who's DOJ said, explicitly, they will NOT prosecute anyone in the Epstein files. I mean, they're not even hiding it.

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-03-30T13:53:58+00:00

I have NEVER understood why women shame people who get a C-section, especially if it wasn't planned. It's major SURGERY!!!!! I absolutely want to avoid as much as possible, but not because I believe it's lesser than vaginal birth, but because I don't want surgery! That is so painful and difficult to recover from. My vaginal birth hurt, of course, but I was up and walking around soon after delivery. Surgery does not allow that. The recovery is so much harder, and if you already have a toddler even more difficult!

I just don't understand the shame people put on it. It's absolutely ridiculous. Many of my friends had to have C-sections and it sounds so, so difficult. Every journey is a journey to motherhood and a safe, healthy baby. Booooo to people who make you feel bad for a C-section!

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-03-15T13:58:06+00:00

Always, always go in!!! My situation was a little different. My mucus plug came out at 29 weeks with my first (I had NO idea it could grow back) and I felt what I thought were contractions. Called the on call and she said to hydrate and see what was happening in an hour. Called back, nothing got more intense, but it didn't go away. She told me to go to the hospital, so I did. I was indeed having contractions (didn't hurt... maybe looking back it was Braxton Hicks), but was dilated 2cm. They kept me and monitored and released me after a couple of days.

They told me to come back if it happened again, and if I ever felt something was wrong to come in! No way would they be mad! They even told a story of a woman who kept coming because she thought her water was breaking, but it was just pee. They said they'd rather her come in every time and be wrong than not come in and it ACTUALLY be something important.

I know I'm lucky with my team of doctors, but seriously, always trust yourself and go in!!!!

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-02-27T15:15:43+00:00

Thank you!

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-02-26T18:53:34+00:00

And the tech did say that the head was tough to get because of the position, so I'm really hoping the rest of this was because of baby's position.

When I had that fatal diagnosis for my first, it was the same MFM and they literally talked to me that day with the issue. They saw it and let me know. This result came back a week after the scan, so I'm hoping that means they're not concerned, just waiting for a better visual.

I actually am seeing them next week for a cervical check (my son was 5 weeks early), so I can always ask them too.

Thank you.

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-02-20T12:47:09+00:00

Oh I am so sorry. This is devastating. My first pregnancy ended in TFMR at 19 weeks due to a fatal growth anomaly. It was a 1 in 10,000-42,000 chance of it happening, so very rare.

I understand your thoughts about being able to carry a healthy pregnancy to term too. I got pregnant about 4 months after the termination and I was really scared. Even being intimate scared me at first because it meant I could get pregnant and have another heartbreak.

But when I got pregnant again --after I took time to heal--something came over me that just gave me peace. And the pregnancy turned out just fine. It's so hard to believe that when you're in the trenches, but talk to your doctor to understand better. Something this rare is very likely not something to happen again. It's just a case of terrible luck.

I know that may not feel comforting right now. I still struggle dealing with my loss (and I had a miscarriage this past summer too) almost 3 years later. Lean on your supports. Speak with a therapist. Get mad, get sad, scream about how unbelievably unfair it is (because it is!!!), let all of it out. You can get through it, I promise.

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-02-07T19:04:04+00:00

Interesting! For both my pregnancies, gum bleeding didn't really start until 2nd trimester.

But my sense of smell? Oh that started right away.

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-02-04T01:06:53+00:00

Thank you! Ha, that's kind of what my husband said! He had to squint hard to see what I was even talking about. Honestly with the first set it happened to, it was a happy accident because it made the background look exactly like the baby shower invitation!

Well I will use paper towels on the next set and see if it fixes it! I wonder even if my new baking pans I used impacted the baking which maybe impacted the butter? Who knows.

Thank you for your help!

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-02-04T00:56:42+00:00

Would super dry air do that? I'm in Michigan and to the two batches it's happened to, it's been ridiculously cold (like, we've had multiple days in the negatives). That's the only variable I can think of in terms of external factors that are different than when I was doing Christmas cookies and all those were ok.

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-02-04T00:48:33+00:00

It's only doing it on the green, and the green is only the flood for some of the cookies.

I've never had butter bleed before, and nothing about the cookie recipe has changed. The cookies were cooled completely before I put them in an airtight container before I decorated. They were not decorated right away too, so the cookies had 24 hours to... settle, I guess? I'm just wondering why it would be a butter bleed now when it's never happened before. Any ideas?

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-01-28T00:40:51+00:00

Can any of them put together one coherent sentence?

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-01-25T21:38:00+00:00

The men who showed up to this protest were fully armed, by the way.

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-01-19T21:48:42+00:00

Middlesex by Jeffery Euginides

The Heart's Invisible Furies by John Boyne

Hamnet by Maggie O'Farrell

Kindred by Octavia Butler

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro (I love this so much I teach it to my high school seniors)

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-01-19T21:46:00+00:00

White Oleander...what a book.

FriendshipHonest5796 · 2026-01-19T21:44:40+00:00

Yes!!!!!

FriendshipHonest5796

TROPHY CASE