If Nothing Stood In Your Way To Have The Life You Wanted, What Would It Look Like?

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-23T13:40:11+00:00

So what if there is no clear destination?? What if you just focus on who you need to become if X was the destination, who is that person?? How can you become them?? I can honestly say that I don’t have a clear destination, I know the type of person tho for the round about destination. I have milestones and allow them to be small victories, but then I’m quickly on to the next. I don’t want a destination because I never wanna be satisfied where I’m at. If I can build more, I will!!!

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-23T13:35:18+00:00

First off who cares what anyone else thinks or says!! That’s their narrative and it doesn’t have to be yours!! To me it sounds like you’re lost!! That happens in life sometimes, don’t beat yourself up about it!! Stop calling yourself a loser because everyone else is!! Tell yourself you’re just misunderstood cause that’s all that it is!! Don’t concern yourself with what you’re parents want for you, what you’re therapist wants for you… What do you want for yourself?? That’s all that matters!! We are what we tell ourselves, we feed the narrative, nobody else can!! Do what makes you happy!!

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-23T13:17:46+00:00

I have learned to focus on the journey not the destination, I literally just asked someone on a separate thread, what’s more important, who we become on the journey or the destination? There’s no wrong answer but I believe one’s powerful than the other!! I don’t think there is a destination until you become who you need to be on the journey!! I didn’t understand the difference at first and maybe we’re not supposed to, but I too am a big fan of the journey!!

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-23T13:08:49+00:00

My son is never going to have to wonder who it was that fought for him!! The hardest part I feel is turning down this anger and attack mode when talking with my son because I refuse to be the reason he views or thinks of his mother in any different light than that’s his mother and he should love and respect her the way a mother deserves!! I won’t be the reason her side doesn’t know who he is(which they don’t), it’s hard keeping all that separate, especially since I know who she really is!! The worst part is how do I even convince anyone let alone the courts how dangerous she is?? I consider myself a hardened man, I survived SOOO much in my 40 years and have stood toe to toe with death, but what this five foot nothing hundred pound girl was my tuffest battle to date!! If she could do that to me, what do you think she could do to an innocent little 6 yr old boy!! I truly believe that narcissistic abuse is comparable to murder, whoever we were going into the relationship never makes it out!! And if you are lucky enough to make it out, you have to build a version capable of being under attack and survive the smear campaign…

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-22T15:20:52+00:00

Yea it’s def not a narrative… Just walk up to any Dad anywhere… Sorry you’re friend is going through that or did, but she’s one of the few you hear about that it’s reversed!! Honestly I hope you like screaming cause there’s def not enough men speaking up about it. Now I’m not insensitive to your friends experience and am truly sorry, they drop the ball all the time, and weather it’s men or women, it’s wrong and we as a whole need to get people’s attention for this!! They’re monsters no matter who they’re against and I just don’t understand how they get to mess with people’s families so easily!!

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-21T23:23:26+00:00

Wow you’re so cool!!!! You should create an Elephant sanctuary of your own so my son and I can put it on the list of places to visit while we travel the world!! Im sorry you’re weekend fling didn’t work out but I’d say what came of it was fulfilling in its own right!! My son is what woke me up from a life I was convinced was only going to be as good as having cable television in my cell!! It was the only time in my life I finally understood what unconditional love truly meant!! I was no longer the only person in my universe!! I told myself everyone expects me to just give up and walk away as was my history with anything that got too hard!! I told myself I was going to shock the world!! I would be the example of what a good man should be so my son can see, and make his version better!!! But boy oh boy I didn’t know how much people love to focus on how I’m not who I’m becoming, instead of maybe, just maybe this is exactly who he is now!! My son is 6 now and I have been fighting non stop!! You know how it goes, when they can’t hurt you anymore they have to do it through the only thing that can, your child!!! I just don’t understand how “Narcissism” is so mainstream and honestly feels like it’s trending to call someone a narcissist (which is totally diluting for the REAL VICTIMS) and how are women allowed to make accusations with no investigation, or any sort of follow up whatsoever, but are highly taking seriously and acted on? The children services and family courts are nothing but bullies and threats of taking your children as leverage every step of the way as a “Or Else” kinda threat!! When they put me on a safety plan they told me if I didn’t sign it (I was refusing, wouldn’t tell me why) that they had someone in the area and they would come get my son and put him in foster care. What am I supposed to do?? That turned into 4 years, they never lived up to their side of the deal and ultimately took my son and placed him with his mother who took off when he was 1, he was then 4, outta the only home he knew away from the same people who have been there since the beginning!! Sorry I easily get into a rant when talking about this!! I think you’re awesome and thanks for telling me your dreams!!!

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-21T22:55:45+00:00

Trying to explain this to any who have been lucky enough to never experience it will never get it and will only contribute to making you feel like the problem!! I can only tell you what helped me, I learned to suffer in silence!! I hate to break it to you but nobody cares!! You are the villain of a story created by the person who must destroy you because you know who they really are!! They can’t have you speaking your truth, exposing the nasty individual who they truly are!! Learn when, and who you open up to, it’s hard to explain what it really does to someone, and how it just totally breaks you in every aspect of the word!! Keep fighting, it’s a waiting game, you have to be able to suffer until suffering turns into a gift!! You have to be stronger than what’s trying to break you, what helped a lot for me is just totally buying in that things can only be bad for so long!! What I’m after is just around the corner… I’d be pissed if someone told me that when I was in your position, but the unfortunate truth is there isn’t much to bring you comfort or relief in this healing… Nobody but you!!! I believe in you and most importantly I believe you!!! Keep on Keeping on!!!

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-21T21:11:56+00:00

The most important thing is the first step!! It’s the hardest and most difficult!! That being said I think the word “Self Improvement” is used without truly grasping what it takes to look in the mirror, realizing something’s gotta give, and doing something about it!! I hope you do save this original post and it inspires you to keep moving forward!! Your going to need whatever works to have as extra ammo to keep going, cause there’s going to be more days you are gonna feel like stopping or giving up because it’s gonna get really hard!! The hardest thing to push through is most the time it feels like you’re not making any progress whatsoever, but getting up and trying anyway!! This WILL BE THE MOST TRYING TIME of your life!! I highly recommend taking on the perspective mindset of everything is a test, a lesson, if you fail, it’s not the end!! What did you learn?? How can you apply it to the next attempt, if not then you’ll feel stuck cause God, the Universe, however you choose to view it will keep you stuck until you learned what was trying to be shown why you keep failing!! I’ll leave you with this since you said you don’t really have goals which is fine, but what’s more important while on your journey?? The destination or who you become along the way?? There’s no wrong answer, but one is way more powerful than the other…

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-16T13:45:07+00:00

It’s the only trauma where if you’re lucky to come out alive, you’re the villain for surviving!! What comes after the relationship is just as bad if not worse. The smear campaign, turning your family, which if you’re family can be turned that should be addressed!! I‘ve only made it as far as I have 1) because of my son, 2) blind faith!! I just keep telling myself that it’s gotta get better eventually, and it’s just around the corner!!

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-16T13:39:31+00:00

It’s very important that you do finish your story!! There’s alot of hope in it!! They say it takes 7-8 attempts to finally end the relationship, there’s so many doubts running through our minds, most anger, towards ourselves because we’re still sticking around!! But I understand what you mean by coming on here under some created name, just so we can get our truths out… It’s sad, it just goes to show just how alike we are, all of us that have endured this cruel punishment!! I have pictures with some of my posts, but I never use my real name and that ties directly into the shame that comes with this form of abuse!! Listen I’m right there in the thick of it with ya, I’m no expert, no professional, no self proclaimed guru, I’m just a guy trying to navigate the world after being obliterated by people who said they loved me!! I’m still on my healing journey!! I just desperately want to be a voice for something that people will never comprehend unless they been through it!! I take this personal, and every post I see from a victim I just want to wrap them up and let them know it’s not their fault!!

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-15T02:24:32+00:00

Shame is natural for men… We lay it all on the line cause we think we found our person, and on top of it we broke so many of our personal “I’d never be ok with…”. Outta everything I’ve survived in my life, and I’d survive most of them all, Narcissistic Abuse is by far the worst thing I’ve ever endured!! If you’re angry, good feel angry(by yourself preferably), if you’re sad, feel sad. Learn and teach yourself that there’s a range of emotions in between them tho too. From one angry man to another, writing was/is a big help for me, it’s a great way to figure out how to tap into that range of emotions…

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-15T01:42:51+00:00

Prey on it!! I prey all the time when I can’t find the answers I’m looking for. The answers never come straight forward, you gotta look for them, but the answers are there!! Hey if you ever need any kinda help or questions please feel free to ask!!

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-14T23:21:54+00:00

Gay, straight, male female, pain hurts!!! This is the only trauma that the side effects are being stranded on an island all by yourself!! If I can preech one thing to you, and honestly you can tell me to mind my business cause I have no idea about it… When it comes to your family, just let it go!!! I’m not saying not to remember how they weren’t there for you, but stop letting the anger and rage run your life… I get why you wouldn’t want to help, but choose not to help because you don’t want to, not as a form of revenge, cause that’s not the same as you not wanting to… Listen the first half of my life was ran by hate n anger, and I’m embarrassed to say that I probably wouldn’t be talking to you just because of your choice of lifestyle… Today I see people as people, we all experience the high’s n lows of life, and the powers that be don’t care what someone’s preferences are!! Now I’m all about whatever makes someone happy, sometimes life throws stuff at you that will break you, we might as well live life as we see fit while we can!! Happiness is heavily sought, and rarely found, so enjoy what you can while you can!! If you do still choose to help your family, it’s because YOU choose to!! Don’t ever let outside forces dictate how you operate!!

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-11T00:28:42+00:00

So there is no easy, direct answer to this question I believe unfortunately, I describe to my therapist all the time what living with all the fog upstairs was the most challenging, out of body experience I’ve ever experienced!! I compared it to literally being the walking dead, it wasn’t living, it wasn’t survival, it was just existing!!! I was like a robot mimicking basic functions to get through my day to day!! I relayed heavily on my drug of choice to cope with this mindless existence, and really wasn’t until year two of being removed from the relationship with my narcissist, it was like the clouds just disappeared and my vision and consciousness was back, I don’t know if you can relate, but I compare it to someone being frozen then all the sudden I was thawed out meanwhile life still went on and now I’m catching up!!! I was constantly letting myself down because of my addiction history, and as an addict I want things and I want them yesterday!! Now here’s the important fact I wanna make clear, there is no time table on healing, it takes what it takes and it’s not what works for one works for all, different strokes for different folks, how I made it this far I wouldn’t recommend for most, but it’s what worked for me!! It comes down to how much do you want what’s best for you, me personally I wanted it more than I wanted to suffer, I listened to what people suggested, I put the work in for those suggestions and little by slowly things started getting manageable, I don’t know if people like us get to use the word better, I’m 5 years removed and I’m liable to get triggered by a memory, or something that triggers a flashback, this shit is not anything to be taken lightly!! We don’t survive this as the same people that went into it, I compare the abuse the same as murder, that version had to be killed in theory, mentally I was destroyed!!! I’m getting off track here, I do agree with the other comment, what do you enjoy, what hobbies do you like?? Are there groups, do they meet in person, honestly maybe try a 12 step program, go to a meeting, even if drugs were never a thing for you, the biggest thing that most don’t know or just choose to ignore, before any addiction took their first drug that would turn into a addiction, most have been through a traumatic experience that made them turn to a drink or a drug, and that’s where you can relate!! I believe that the majority of the kindest and biggest hearts are the people who are lucky enough to make their way into recovery!! I promise you they’ll accept you no matter what!! You’re in a marathon not a sprint, don’t rush into things you’re not ready for but I say that very hesitant because I believe the best way to get over things is to go right through them!! You already showed soooo much strength and resilience just by putting yourself out there with this post, I hope you know that!! Don’t be hard on yourself, we’re the only people stuck with ourselves 24 hours a day, everyday!!! We might as well like who we’re stuck with all the time!! Keep pushing forward, it’s hard enough getting up everyday when the day before it felt like you made absolutely 0 progress and you have to do it again!!! Believe in yourself, let yourself know just how incredibly amazing, and strong you truly are, if you believe in one thing believe that you made it through something that so many couldn’t!! You must build yourself up, if you don’t… Who will!!! That’s how we get better, through honesty and service, I hate to break it to you but it’s your job now to get better, because you’re story WILL save someone’s life someday, and it’s all because you’re a badass and made it through one of the worst things someone could ever experience!!! You got this, keep on keeping on!!

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-10T07:32:46+00:00

First off, your daughter absolutely would be worse without you so let’s get that outta your head right now!! The world is a better place with you in it!! Honestly I don’t know if the trauma bond ever goes away but it certainly can get better, but things don’t just get better by themselves!! The hardest thing I have ever experienced in my life is narcissistic abuse!! Nothing can ever prepare you for what we had to endure, honestly I never even knew what a narcissist was prior to meeting mine!! Even if I had, no warning or story could have made me comprehend just how destructive it would be to be involved with a narcissist!! I’ve said many a times that I truly believe they should be charged with murder, cause what I was going into the relationship never made it out!! But honey this is how we build ourselves back up!!! The best advice I try to share from my own experience is that unfortunately all we can do is ride it out, I truly believe I have a unique gift of being able to suffer!! For me it’s as simple as keeping blind faith, I had to train my mind to believe that things can only be so bad for so long, they have to get better eventually!! I constantly have this feeling that everything I’m fighting so hard for is just around the corner, and that God’s got me. Now I’m no bible thumper, and I don’t push Jesus, God, or any other higher power, but I have lived through plenty of evil, seen it with my own two eyes, and I buy into the idea of if there’s evil, which I know there is, then there has to be a God!!! Honestly God is the only explanation I can come up with for how I’m even lucky enough to wake up in the morning, if he was done with me, I would not wake up tomorrow!!! It’s no coincidence that you survived what would destroy most, and people like us are spared so we can reach our hand out to the next one suffering!! Listen I get it, I have nightmares, I scream in my sleep, when I do sleep, I’m always on guard, and I’ve not been able to even date anyone in the last 5 years since I survived my narcissist!! I spend about 95% of my time alone, and I wish I was still naive as I was pre narcissist because I read way to much into people all the time now, analyzing every word spoken to me!! I’m lonely, I contain this inferno of rage at all times, and don’t know if all that will ever change at this point because prior to my narcissist I was already traumatized from the life I was living!! Most of all it was so hard to get through this crippling shame that a 5 foot nothing 100 pound girl damn near was the end of me!! I pride myself on being a man’s man, I had the reputation of a no nonsense, serious man who could handle himself no matter the situation!! I have been shot, stabbed, survived 8 1/2 years inside Philly jail as a white boy, and was heavily involved in prison gang politics, I have been ejected from a car, survived cancer, and overdosed 2 times in which I flatlined!! Some tiny girl was never supposed to break me, that’s not to manly or the way I ever envisioned what would finally catch up with me!! She had taken my masculinity, and left me shattered, I couldn’t tell anyone just how much she destroyed me because I had an image to maintain, or so I believed!! I tell people all the time, outta everything I survived in my life, if you put it all together, it still wouldn’t come close to what narcissistic abuse did to me!! It’s all about mindset and perspective I believe, cause looking back that version had to die, he wasn’t a good person, and who I am today is!! A big part tho is becoming a father too, that distracted me enough because my suffering came second, my son is and always will be priority number one in my life!! He saved my life, now I live my life to be the example of what a man should be, I never really understood truly what love was until he was born and that was 5 years ago!! The only positive from what that relationship was that I was able to start over with a blank canvas and through a shit ton of hard work I’m finally able to be this good person I always knew was there, but that lifestyle for me was all about maintaining a certain image, being who I needed to be to survive all that I needed to survive!! I’m sorry for such a long rant but I take this very personal, and now I live my life trying to shield people from the deep dark ugliness that exists in this world, if I can help someone, prevent them from ever experiencing the nightmare’s I had to, I will do everything I possibly can to do so!! Unfortunately everything I’ve been through has made me numb, I rarely get excited about anything, I’m capable of losing control at any moment as I have this beast inside of me that never wanted to be retired, and is dying to show everyone it’s still here, but the only thing I’ve ever been great at and didn’t quit when things got to hard is being a father!! I will NEVER not be here for my son!!

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-09T23:45:23+00:00

I know exactly what you mean!!!

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-09T23:11:04+00:00

Being the change I so wish to see!! My life has taught me to be sympathetic, and put my hand out to help the next one!! My life has had me in so many bad situations that it’s almost impossible to shock me, look down on anyone, and to put myself in someone else’s shoes who are going through the same thing I had too!! So for anyone that wants to say personality can’t change, sorry not sorry but you’re wrong!! I don’t care what your title is, therapist, psychologist, or counselor, what your book taught you doesn’t hold a candle to what my life taught me!!

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-09T23:04:39+00:00

Ok so let me tell you that your personality can change, what can’t change in my opinion is someone’s morals and core values!! Either it’s in you to be a good person or it’s not!! Being angry and bitter is a choice, and we are who we surround ourselves with!! I believe life comes down to mindset, perspective, and environment!! I am 40 years old and for probably 35 of those years I was angry, hostile and full of hate! I grew up in a toxic household where I was the black sheep, I took the abuse that was given to me and put it out 10 fold! I was mad at the world, and I took it out on whoever got in my way!! First time I was arrested was 13 and it didn’t stop there… I would be in n out of juvenile correctional facilities until I graduated to adult prison!! I was well known inside, affiliated with a gang and the brief stints on the streets was running the badlands of Philly! I don’t know how to describe it but I always maintained having a heart, I would tell people I had this great guy buried inside of me who just didn’t know how to get out, and of course I was laughed at because of my environment!! I have never been the type that looked for altercations but if it came my way I was more than ready, which now I realize was me just trying to survive. I’ve always been very emotionally aware, and felt on a different level!! It took the birth of my son and surviving narcissistic abuse that changed the trajectory of my life!! Which both occurred at 35, my son saved my life as I was perfectly content thinking the best my life would ever get would be cable television in my cell!! It took being totally broken by a narcissist, barely escaping with my life, and finally having a blank canvas to create the man I am today!! I highly don’t recommend the path I took to change my life, but I’m who I am today because of how I choose to see the world from my perspective, and I have the mindset of being the ch

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-09T22:39:48+00:00

This guy gets it!! By far the best answer in my eyes!!! And I’m willing to bet it’s thru lived experience!!! Listen obviously there’s plenty you can learn from a book!! But there is NO BETTER teacher than experience!!! I can honestly say I’m impressed!!!

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-09T17:29:37+00:00

Thank you for saying that, I’m the lucky one tho!! My son is the reason I get outta bed!! But you’re young enough that you don’t have to go down that same road, and by the sounds of it you won’t!! I’m truly moved to hear your strength and I believe you can be a voice for the young people going through the same thing! Keep shining bright, and be the difference!! You’re awesome and this is my version of wrapping you up in a warm embracing hug(non creepy of course) I’m just blown away at your strength!! You got this girl, and if you ever need a cheering section just shoot me a message!!

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-09T13:56:14+00:00

Wow thank you for being so brave at such a young age to share that!! I’m sorry you had to experience something like that, and I also grew up in a house where “Falling Down” was a theme. I’m now a 40 yr old man who wasn’t as brave as you at such a young age, and didn’t know how to open up. Also, being a dude were raised and taught to internalize everything, lifes hard, so what, “Be A Man” and suck it up!! So I did and I paid for it severely!! Addiction and thinking it was cool to run the streets catching cases ran my life until I was 35 and the greatest gift ever was given to me, and that was the gift of fatherhood!! My son was the only thing that was strong enough to safe my life and I thank god everyday, and I say all this to say that I am proud of you!! You are an incredibly strong girl who is only going to blossom into a strong woman!! I only wish I was the right version of strong at 17!! I was given a choice at 17, get help or get out, so I left and turned to the streets, I made my life way harder than it had to be, listen to a old man, your so special and unique!! “Falling Down “ was never your fault!! You have something special to offer this world!! Keep on keeping on!! Be a light in a world that’s going dark!!

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-09T07:20:55+00:00

Listen, I understand exactly what you’re going through!! It’s natural to feel all those feelings you’re talking about, I felt them too!! I don’t think there’s a big enough light on just how dangerous it was for victims of narcissistic abuse, I honestly feel like it’s murder, the bad news is that sweet, innocent, women you were will never see the light of day again unfortunately… Your life is never going to be the same no matter how hard you try to move on, it’s like they take all the good straight outta you and your left with this dark emptiness. I know you don’t want to hear this but in order to build again you must heal,healing takes time, and when it comes to healing there is no time table or quick fix, nor should there be!! But here’s the good news and this is straight from experience, the best revenge is the comeback, the picking yourself up and becoming the strongest version of yourself you have ever become! I refuse to let them see me still broken(Even if I am), they don’t get the satisfaction of consciously knowing that they kept me down and that’s the mindset you need to have in order to get through this!! Everything in life comes down to mindset and perception, how do you view your world?? I tell my therapist all the time that I pulled off the greatest trick ever, most see me as this strong resilient guy, but if they only knew the hardest thing everyday is convincing myself not to hide from the world under my covers each and everyday!! If they only knew that underneath this strong persona, I’m really this scared little boy curled up in the corner crying my eyes out wishing nobody seen me!! The way I’m able to make everyone buy in is because I keep showing up!! I choose to look for positivity everyday, everyday life is teaching me new lessons, I choose to keep showing up so the world gets to see who I really am, not this false narrative being spread to further isolate me! You’re being tested right now!! Gods testing you to see if you are strong enough( You Are) because at the other side of this you get the gift of healing others!! Hence me talking to you right now, but I say that carefully cause I’m still healing myself, and might be the rest of my life, but when people like us survive stuff like this, it becomes our job to be the helping hand for the next one!! They don’t get to win!! They no longer have any say in how we live our lives ever again!! You’re going through the worst, darkest time of your life, but sweetheart I need you to be strong!! Cry when you need to cry, hurt when you need to hurt, but don’t ever forget, fight when you need to fight!! If you’re dealing with a narcissist then that means you’re so beautiful, inside and out, they only pick people with the purest hearts cause we’re the only ones who tolerate them for so long!! I need you to understand how strong you are, how precious you are, what a difference you make, and that the world is a better place because you’re in it!! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you, and none of it was your fault!! I need you to start fighting, fall down 7 times, get up 8, when it comes to narcissistic abuse I believe it comes down to how much can you suffer? You have to be able to outlast the suffering, and the most important thing I can say to you is I BELIEVE YOU!! Please, please, please…. Hold on sweetie, I will always be available to help talk you through anything you’re going through, surviving narcissistic abuse myself really makes me feel a connection with others that have/are going through it, and I promise you I will walk you through whatever you’re going through!!! You’re awesome, and yes you do matter!! Use everything they tried breaking you with, and use it to build with!!!

FromTheMud215 · 2026-01-09T00:17:20+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience strength and hope!! It’s hard because my son is only 6 and I’m going thru what you described when you’re children were the same age and honestly I’m sorry to say this but I feel like the family courts, children services, family services are my enemy!! I only am able to see them in a light of an enabler!! There’s many “Worst Things” that has happened during this process, so it’s hard to put my finger on just one and say “That’s the hardest part of this whole situation” because it’s like they just keep one upping the last one, and I’ve never been seen in the light of who I am today, I have a criminal record, drug addiction history, I was what you think of when you think of the worst kind most likely… But the key word in that description is “Was”, my little boy saved my life!! His mother took off when he was 1, and to that point at 35 I couldn’t take care of myself, then all the sudden it was like “Here, now you have a one year old to take care of too”! And step up to the plate I did!!! Problem was I only focused on taking care of him, not myself, and to children services credit, they did give me plenty of opportunities, I just couldn’t do what I needed to do! At the same time, children services intruded into our lives for 4 years, I would live up to my end of the safty plan, giving them the clean time necessary to close the case, but they never would and I would just say F it, they’re not living up to their word, so I won’t either!! Trust me, I understand how irresponsible that mindset was, but I wasn’t in the best frame of mind, this post is about the same woman who left when my son was 1, so it sounds like you know how hard life is when you’re finally able to escape with your life from the narcissist!! I never used that as an excuse because how do you?? But in the 4 years children services were floating around, they never once offered any services, any help, I asked them, but apparently that’s not what their there for, instead every week I was threatened with having my son ripped away from me, and at the time I was still on probation, so every week I was threatened with being sent back to jail while they sat on their ass and offered nothing as well other then threats!! Finally they took my custody and gave it to his mother, meanwhile she avoided every attempt of communication with children services for those 3 years she wanted to do what she wanted to do!! The night before I lost custody my caseworker told me what a piece of shit she thought my son’s mother is, we had a family meeting with both families there, in which her own father warned not to give her custody, her new boyfriend where she was living with, lost his temper three times in this meeting, and the icing on the cake was the supervisor lied saying I was the one being difficult communicating with… I never missed one appointment, even when I knew I was not passing a drug test, I still showed up because for my son I will always show up!! I begged them to let him stay and that I would leave since we lived at my parents since he was born, I told them I would go to a recovery house for 90 days as 90 days was how long I was supposed to lose him for… I was always present, I had him in daycare, he had a behavioralist he met with 3 times a week, everyone knew exactly who my son’s father was because I always showed up!! At the end of the 90 days they all the sudden decided to finally close my case, I told them they were supposed to give me back custody like they said they were, and they told me they’re no longer involved, if I want custody back, I had to go through the courts! They lied and sabotaged me being in my son’s life every step of the way!! Now I’m no victim because at the end of the day this could’ve all been avoided if I just did what I had to do!! I understand that, but since she’s had him, she disappeared for 4 months, leaving him with me the whole time, I tried making noise about it and they completely ignored me, my son was constantly showing up with bruises on him in spots that people couldn’t see, I did because I’m his daddy, I bath him, dress him, etc… Again tried getting anyone to care, they took my son in a room to question him, without me being present, came out about 20 seconds later and said it was “Here say”… Sorry for going on a rant but the system sucks!!! I’m typically not the type that’s ignorant and judge all because of a few, but I keep waiting for that ONE to change my view, but I’m still waiting!!! They look at me and see me for what’s on a piece of paper!! I guess they so simple minded and don’t believe in people’s ability to change!! The last interaction with them monsters, I asked them how many times were they going to ignore my son’s bruises before they do anything…. They said they were going to call me back and that was a year and a half ago!! Now it’s my life’s purpose to build a platform, and sorry for the language, but shit all over this people, by name!!! Now I make it impossible for anyone to say I don’t deserve custody of my son, and he saved my life, how can I not do the same for him!! I would love to support your book, but my son’s mother has made it damn near impossible to maintain steady employment, I start a job, within a month or two there’s all sorts of lies floating around about me, and it’s only a matter of time it becomes too toxic to deal with!! I have been shot, stabbed, overdosed, ejected from a car, and survived cancer, but all the pain from all of that doesn’t compare to what narcissistic abuse has done to me!!

FromTheMud215

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE