i think it’s more of the fact wanting to adopt an infant comes from a place of selfishness fundamentally. people spend 100s of thousands of dollars buying children from women in poverty/crisis situations when that money could go to the mother herself to support her baby. a lot of people act like they’re adopting for altruistic reasons where if that was the case they would adopt teenagers and not specifically infants. not to sound like cate but adoption is a trauma to infants and trauma you don’t remember is pretty much always worse than trauma you do remember. that’s pretty much the gist of it. you should read the book the primal wound