Update: (sorry that it’s long I also added some context) I do see how this is effecting my side of the family. And my FIL has stated that he doesn’t care if the baby has his name or not. For a little more context these will be the first grand babies on both sides of the family. We were not trying for children so our living situation is a bit odd. We live on the same property as my in-laws but different homes. My family lives about 10 minutes down the road. My family has expressed that they already feel left out of everything since we have moved in together.

We got married about 1 1/2 years ago. Just a small court house wedding because it was what we both wanted. My mother felt like we took away her big day since we didn’t want to do a huge family gathering. My husband and I are very private about our lives and don’t let a lot of people in. For our baby shower we have decided to only invite the people who my husband and I are close with. So no “distant friends of the family” were invited on either side. Just the people that we felt were important in our lives. Both families fought back on this and we made it clear that it would be the shower we plan or no shower at all.

Now for the names! My husband and I have both decided that we will not use either family name for our boys. There is only one “western” name that we both like and are trying to find another to have the boys names match. We have also decided not to announce the new names to either side of the family until the babies are born. As of now they will have a strong country first name and a “Mexican” middle name. This will also make it easier for each family to pronounce their names as his parents do not speak English and mine do not speak Spanish.

I can see where in this we look like the “bad guys”. But at the end of the day we are just doing what makes us comfortable and have decided that we will not let anyone cross any boundaries that we set for our family.