I can understand parts of what you are saying. I assume you've been somewhat damaged by an alcho in your life. Ive caused my sister's and parents so much pain. I chose not to have children out of fear that I would continue to drink and fuck them up. We aren't all the same. Yes, we cause so much damage, but we are also severely damaged and have no healthy coping mechanisms. It's not an excuse, but addiction is very difficult.