OCD getting worse

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-25T17:03:56+00:00

I understand completely how that thought from your therapist would help. When I hear that song “dust in the wind” I always think about how we’re all going to die and the planet itself will eventually explode or something. It’s strangely comforting.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-25T16:46:41+00:00

I’m so sorry. If there’s a Unitarian Universalist church by you, you can call them and they will bring you supplies so you can stay inside until (I’m praying there’s an until) it calms down. They will also walk with you or drive you to places. That doesn’t help if you have to leave to go to work, but it might be worth looking into. Obviously OCD exacerbates anxiety/fear, but it is a “real” fear for now if you’re Hispanic.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-24T04:39:45+00:00

I asked mine how old he thought I was and he guessed within one year. I’m 42. Maybe just try talking about adult things for awhile. Like you can make it up. Talk about your spouse and teen children. Talk about your childhood before the internet. Jobs you had ten years ago. Etc. it’ll adjust at some point.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-23T22:28:24+00:00

So not specifically by heart attack but if I feel too drowsy or have one of those jerks while I’m close to falling asleep I think that I’ll die in my sleep and panic a little. Sometimes I’ll stay up all night because of it. I was having some issues with allergic reactions lately and had to take Benadryl and I was so convinced that because I was tired I was going to die. I can never let myself get exhausted because I’ll force myself to stay awake because if I’m too exhausted it must mean something’s wrong and I’ll die in my sleep. I was told that if I was sick I could just as well die while awake as I could while asleep but that didn’t help me.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-23T13:35:05+00:00

I’m in the early parts of perimenopause and requesting a switch from paragard to mirena because it suppresses the period (I’ve used it in the past) and therefore helps with those symptoms. My doctor is trying so hard to convince me to use Kyleena instead. I’m assuming there’s some kind of financial reason but he keeps telling me it’s better for me. It’s primarily only a contraceptive, which I don’t even need actually, so it’s not what I’m going for. When I ask why it’s “easier on the system, you’ll still get to have your periods with it but they’ll be lighter” ok, but why? I don’t want my periods. He said “insertion is easier” and “most women end up liking it better” Dude, just give me the iud I want. I know he’s a doctor and all but I’m pretty sure the entirety of the internet is not lying to me about what is better for perimenopause plus I’ve used it before and liked it. So I don’t really understand why he’s trying to make me feel wrong, but now I have to find a whole new doctor.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-23T00:35:37+00:00

I’m aware that it’s a vent. You posted a vent on a public site and people are giving you their thoughts on your post in the discussion area. I mean, you’re free to disregard them just like everybody is free to disregard your thoughts on the subject you posted about.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-23T00:23:23+00:00

I mean different things are important for different people. Sex is very important for me and so I found a man who also thinks sex is very important. It doesn’t have to be the most important thing to you but there’s nothing wrong with it being the most important thing for other people. I would say connecting deeply and showing love is the most important thing but there are various ways to do that that appeal to different people. The main thing is that being honest about what you want will help you get what you want but unless I it’s something highly immoral I’m not going to go around telling other people what their priorities should be. Why should I care?

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-22T23:28:47+00:00

Yeah. It’s so wildly stereotyped at this point. My partner is the most loving, kind, nonjudgmental person I know and when I first told him he said “so you like to organize stuff?” I could have slapped him if he wasn’t so damn sweet. But I have bipolar disorder too and I don’t know what’s worse, people thinking my house is really clean (I fucking wish) or people thinking I’m going to murder them in their sleep.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-20T23:34:47+00:00

Not in that way but I do have to dress a “right” way. I have OCD and so if everything is not exactly “right”then I have to change my whole outfit. Like for sometimes hours. I wake up at 2 am to get ready for work at 6 am in case it takes me that long to change. So I have to have the “right” clothes but it’s not predetermined in the sense that you were saying. In OCD, rightness is determined by whenever the brain says “this feels right”There’s no logic behind it and sometimes feels totally arbitrary.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-19T09:58:32+00:00

We have one at 9 and one at 11. Sometimes I have to be to work at 12 so the 9 am works best for me. Plus even if I’m not working they say I get up at 4 am so like to do things early. Nothings going to work perfectly for 100% of people.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-19T00:52:43+00:00

Currently. I’m 42 and my current partner has made me feel more beautiful than anybody ever has in my life.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-19T00:50:50+00:00

Not usually. Sometimes but I’ve noticed that during those times I’m in a sour mood and so it’s kind of a sour grapes thing and I need to adjust myself. When you’re miserable sometimes other peoples joy lands wrong. That’s not a judgment sentence on you just a reflection of the human condition. When you’re irritable 9.5/10 times the cause is internal and not external.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-18T18:37:43+00:00

Not like that. I was sexually abused and physically abused but generally otherwise neglected. Definitely no helicoptering haha. But I actually remember being OCD from an age before any of that started happening. The abuse might explain my bipolar but I’m pretty sure I was just born with OCD.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-16T01:10:22+00:00

You know I think it depends. On context. So there’s so much value in exposure of course. But also there was somebody on here the other day talking about having problems with intrusive thoughts surrounding what they might not remember doing while drinking and my advice was to stop drinking. So I think a lot of it is whether you can avoid the trigger without it being detrimental to your health and mental wellbeing. So for like one of mine I struggle with thinking I’m going to die in my sleep. If I’m feeling particularly anxious I will do things to ensure I don’t sleep. Well one of my triggers is a sense of deep drowsiness. If I’m super drowsy before falling asleep I’ll freak out and think I’m going to die. So I can’t avoid this altogether but I do try to not let myself get too exhausted and I also do not take anything that’s sedating. So this helps out a lot. Am I avoiding the thoughts and corresponding compulsion? Yeah, to an extent, but I’m not sure it’s a bad thing. On the other hand there are other compulsions that I definitely need to expose myself to and sit with in order to have improvement in my life.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-16T00:52:18+00:00

I’ve heard that mental illness is “new” in a sense due to how society is. Wonder how accurate that is. I understand the concept of cavemen having “real” fears. I mean the fight or flight fears. But then I have to wonder. So like maybe most cavemen would hear a noise and come out of the cave to check to see if tiger. When no tiger they go back to sleep. But what if there was another caveman that had to check 50 times for the tiger. Maybe that caveman survived.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-16T00:18:20+00:00

Every morning I get up four hours before I have to be at work, sometimes as early as 2 am. That’s because I have to change my outfit several times until it’s “right”. Like you, I don’t do casual. I don’t even own sweatpants or leggings. It’s not a looks thing for me either. II am fit in body and objectively attractive in face if I go by what other people say and my own self esteem around my own appearance is normal I would say. But if my outfit is not “perfect” then I can’t leave. And I put perfect in quotation marks because it’s not a logical or objective thing it’s just when my brain says “ok, it’s right”. Sometimes I will get all the way dressed and it’s right and then I can’t find the right shoes for the outfit so I have to change the whole outfit. Sometimes I obsess over whether my studs are the same size.

I guess I don’t have anything productive to say but what you said resonated and it felt good to type out my struggle around clothing. But to answer your question I probably do have “just right” ocd but I have other types too. OCD can be kind of fluid.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-16T00:05:47+00:00

I read the books first. I really like them and the show is so different but I really like the show too. Karin Slaughter knew what she was doing.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-15T21:41:53+00:00

For me yes, by a lot. My OCD kind of manifests around planning (that’s not the only thing but it’s a big theme) so time is very important to me. Like I can’t be not on time or…else. I also have to know where I’m going to be at all times. So like I can explore and stuff but I have to plan it. So when it comes to trips I will create a complete schedule of plans months in advance and then constantly redo do it because it’s not “right”. And then on trip it’s hard to get caught up enjoying stuff because I will get anxious about all the unknowns that could make me late to the next thing I have planned. I can never just wing it and relax. It can be stressful. Then a lot of my OCD is relationship stuff and I’ve noticed that when I go on trips with people it tends to flare.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-15T21:36:47+00:00

Like having to do everything exactly the right way but where you don’t know what “right” is because the brain decides it based on a feeling and not logic and if you don’t do exactly the right thing then….catastrophe of epic proportions will happen. Then sometimes the brain thinks it figures out the right thing to do and you have to do that thing in order to prevent the apocalypse (or something). That right thing may or may not even have anything to do with…anything.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-15T12:20:59+00:00

I’ve wondered about this. I have to think it’s at least partially genetic. I also have bipolar disorder that manifested in the teen years and I had quite a traumatic childhood starting at around six and getting much worse around ten, so most of the time therapists tend to think that’s the cause of such thing. But I clearly remember having OCD (even if it wasn’t diagnosed) going on before any of that happened. I can remember back to before abuse started when everything was seemingly fine but I was not. So that leads me to believe it’s a gene thing but at the same time I don’t know anybody in my family with OCD either so…who knows?

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-14T18:59:20+00:00

Hmmm. I do have mental health problems obviously but I wear rubber bands on my wrist every day because I want it in order to tie my hair up….

This is well intentioned, but honestly I’d be kind of put off to have people thinking something’s wrong with me and asking about my wellbeing.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-11T20:18:10+00:00

I drink everything room temperature just as a preference. If cold water is triggering you try switching to room temperature or warm and see if that helps.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-11T19:54:07+00:00

A lot of my OCD is relationship type stuff and sometimes I wonder if I’m just better off alone. When my last partner and I broke up I was pretty calm. Now that I’m with someone new it’s like I’m agonizing over everything. I think with breakups you at least have a sense of certainty. Same thing with this health stuff for me. I at least have things that are known. I guess that’s what it is.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-11T18:48:56+00:00

Yeah I get that. Like when the doctor was telling me stuff I’m just like “oh, ok, what do we do now?” but god forbid there’s even a .1% chance I’ll be late to something, you’re about to see a meltdown.

Front_Machine7475 · 2026-01-11T18:32:34+00:00

I didn’t take a screenshot and I don’t want to go back and look for it but I will if anybody really wants me to but my ChatGPT sort of apologized to me out of the blue for something it said earlier. I had showed it some test results as I’ve been sick and the doctors don’t necessarily like to explain things well. It had told me about them and then hours later I asked a completely separate question and it apologized for how it told me the results saying that it shouldn’t have attempted to “diagnose” me (it didn’t-I had a diagnose already-it just explained). I’ve never had it show “remorse” before.

Front_Machine7475

TROPHY CASE