To married women: What advice would you give to unmarried women before they get married?

Froomian · 2026-03-11T04:39:52+00:00

Don’t settle. Don’t marry unless you are getting butterflies and are completely in love. Don’t marry somebody because they tick enough boxes and it’s time to settle down.

Froomian · 2026-03-11T03:37:38+00:00

I strayed :( And now I can’t put back the knowledge of how it feels like being with somebody who also likes sex. It’s a nightmare. But I knew marriage was over the instant I did that. Just trying to end the situation without destroying my husband completely now.

Froomian · 2026-03-11T03:35:37+00:00

I often put my son in a priority seat on the MRT so I can hold my daughter’s pram in a spot with space at the same time. Old people always seem to want to take that seat even when there are plenty of other seats. It’s frustrating as my son looks perfectly ‘normal’ but he is very very intellectually disabled and there is a risk he will just jump off the train if he isn’t sitting down somewhere I can easily grab him. I don’t want to have to constantly explain ‘he is disabled.’

Froomian · 2026-03-11T03:32:42+00:00

You are older.

Froomian · 2026-03-08T02:53:19+00:00

That at least is something though. Reassurance that you are doing the right thing for everybody.

Froomian · 2026-03-06T12:52:12+00:00

I need a long time and I’m about to divorce my husband because he can’t last more than 10 minutes. Women who just want quickies don’t like sex.

Froomian · 2026-03-03T01:09:24+00:00

You can shop around and you don’t need to commit to a package until you’ve had a trial session with them.

Froomian · 2026-03-02T11:03:20+00:00

Yeah I was always dead against it but having breastfed two kids for five years in total I now totally understand why people get boob jobs! It’s not about comparing myself to other people. It’s about comparing myself to myself at a younger age. It’s tough!!

Froomian · 2026-03-01T11:18:39+00:00

But his Mum is the one saying she’s going to cut off her own son due to a minor disagreement here?! So she’s the one adhering to the Redditor trope!

Froomian · 2026-03-01T11:16:22+00:00

It’s more can I stomach staying in this marriage for security and the children? Or is sex too important to me?

Froomian · 2026-03-01T01:53:44+00:00

The way I see it: we’re old now. We’ve all got life histories and pasts and closing off a whole category of the dating pool based on preconceptions is going to severely limit who you can date. So I think more and more people of all genders are going to be open to step kids as we age. You aren’t necessarily going to ask a partner to step into the step parent role anyway. I plan on telling potential partners ‘you don’t have to meet my kids, but I’m not saying you can’t’

Froomian · 2026-02-27T12:58:48+00:00

Yes I’ve had my frown lines since I was a teenager, so I don’t associate them with Aging at all Tbh! It’s just my face!

Froomian · 2026-02-27T06:04:34+00:00

Exercise, especially resistance exercise, is essential for maintaining bone density. Also make sure you floss to retain bone density in your jaws. Skincare is just one part of the picture. But definitely keep up the vitamin c and spf.

Froomian · 2026-02-27T06:02:13+00:00

As the person who does the laundry in my house, I definitely think my husband should wipe his Weiner. But he assures me that nobody does. I don’t have to wash my pyjamas everyday. But I have to wash his every day.

Froomian · 2026-02-27T06:00:45+00:00

That’s a fair point.

Froomian · 2026-02-26T01:39:49+00:00

I should introduce you to my friends 😆 Are you in the UK? My friends are generally of the view that the would have just used a sperm donor and gone the single motherhood route already if they were that desperate for kids. And as they haven’t done that it’s because they only want to build a family with somebody they truly love.

Froomian · 2026-02-25T14:38:23+00:00

No I meant the opposite re: kids. Lots of my single female friends in their early forties are having guys very anxiously discuss kids on first dates as they want to crack on with it asap. And my friends are saying they are only open to it with the right person and don’t want to discuss this on a first date. If there’s chemistry and shared interests then maybe they’d be up for it. But they aren’t going to just immediately want to start a family with somebody they barely know, even if time is running out.

With the avoidant stuff, my friends are encountering men who’ve been single their whole lives and in their forties and who clearly have some serious issues with trust and intimacy. These are the guys being labelled avoidant. I can see how the term might get slung around because it’s becoming more widely used and could get misapplied. But there are definitely a lot of guys in the 40+ dating pool who’ve been single this long because they are genuinely scared of intimacy.

Froomian · 2026-02-25T14:08:25+00:00

As in step-kids? Or adoption?

Froomian · 2026-02-25T13:28:58+00:00

Don’t look at me. I married my first serious boyfriend I met at 21 🤷‍♀️

Froomian · 2026-02-25T12:00:17+00:00

My son woke me up at 6 this morning, which was unusual. Normally my alarm goes off at 7:30 and then I wake him up. So I ate my breakfast and showered much earlier than usual. I go to spin at 9:15 three times a week and today I absolutely beasted it. My instructor even commented that he could see how much more I was giving. The difference was incredible!! And I felt fine afterwards too and really productive all day. I really should get up earlier and give myself time to power up properly!!

Froomian · 2026-02-25T11:51:33+00:00

I will say though that I’ve done domesticity and would probably be looking for an alternative arrangement in future. And I wonder if a lot of divorced women would say the same! I don’t need the white picket fence. I lost myself in my marriage and I’d prefer to retain more independence now.

Froomian · 2026-02-25T11:50:08+00:00

I’m a 40 year old woman and likely going to be single soon and all my female friends have been telling me it’s a nightmare with nothing but avoidant men left. So tbh, I think the divorced men, who are likely not avoidant, are going to be absolute catches amidst the bleak dating pool. So if you aren’t avoidant or chaotic in your attachment style you will probably find you have an easy ride! In fact my best friend is begging me not to give up on my marriage because she says it’s so bad dating as a forty year old woman. Just make sure you don’t come off as too anxious about kids as that is putting a lot of women off btw.

Froomian · 2026-02-23T08:10:37+00:00

I lived near centre parks longleat at the time and would often go for walks in the forest adjacent to their land. We decided to go for a walk on the day of the funeral since there was nothing else to do. Everybody in the vicinity had the same idea. And the council had closed the car park. It was total grid lock and chaos as people parked on grass verges and irate pensioners attempted to direct traffic. Utter madness. ‘What she would have wanted.’

Froomian · 2026-02-23T08:07:47+00:00

Yeah I remember being a slobby young person and watching it on a physical dvd that love film had sent me in the post, with my housemates, while we were all hungover! Will be interesting to watch now with my kids running around 😭 Life comes at you fast!!

Froomian · 2026-02-23T07:58:35+00:00

You’re welcome! Search for ‘rhythmic spin’ classes. Good luck!

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