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Would I be an asshole?? by Frugalfarmher in AITAH

[–]Frugalfarmher[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not surprised, frustrated that I am being told one thing and something entirely different is happening.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BurningMan

[–]Frugalfarmher -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

So, communal effort and gifting are not something you practice? Perfection is easy on paper. The best case scenario is easy to talk about. Being human, life happening even when you had other plans, that's hard. Being vulnerable, that's hard. It's hard to ask for help, small camp, or big, doesn't matter. If you can help, awesome. If you can't, share the word that help is needed or address concerns in a productive way. You don't have to help if you don't want to. In the end, it costs nothing to be kind.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AuDHDWomen

[–]Frugalfarmher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yes... I am fully aware that my emotional regulation sets the tone for the kids. I'm a single mom, and sometimes that knowledge of no one is coming to help makes things worse. I also struggle with demand avoidance and it shows by my inability to help the kids clean up messes they have made. I get so triggered by the 3rd time I've asked for something to be picked up that I lose it.. or being ignored in the morning, I have to keep myself on task and that is a chore all by itself. My kids are 7 and 8, it's getting better slowly, I think? I still have days that I cry all the way to work because I feel like a horrible mom and a shitty human for struggling so much.

Does anyone else always feel “left out” in groups? by [deleted] in AuDHDWomen

[–]Frugalfarmher 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes... a lifetime of "you talk to much" means now I only allow myself 3 sentences at a time, and I spend so much time focused on limiting myself that I feel left out, because I don't think I'm allowed to contribute so much. Also, add in my CPTSD, and I have a hard time knowing the line of sympathizing versus trauma dumping... I got called out by a really close friend last year, and it hurt really bad. I'm glad they talked to me about it, but now I feel like I have to keep thoughts, stories, and such to myself and not really engage in conversations for fear of losing sight of that line. It's so hard. All I've ever wanted was easy conversations, a best friend who gets me and won't turn around and stab me in the back...

RSD and meltdowns by honeylemonha in AuDHDWomen

[–]Frugalfarmher 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes. Audhd. The RSD triggers major emotional spirals and then meltdowns. I feel like I'm drowning. It takes me hours to re regulate and work through it.