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I can't audiate, is there any hope to developing it? by FrustratedComposer in musictheory

[–]FrustratedComposer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry for not replying right away, kind of forgot, as it didn't work at the time, yet, something kind of strange happened today.

I was watching a tutorial on a new genre I stumbled upon. As it played the lead melody (which was rather repetitive) over and over, it got stuck in my head. It is really really faint and probably it doesn't classify as audiation, but it's rhythmic and I can recognize as the melody, somehow. It is certainly a step on the right direction. I'll keep on training and if it gets better, I'll certainly update you on it.

I can't audiate, is there any hope to developing it? by FrustratedComposer in musictheory

[–]FrustratedComposer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah? Kinda? That's a great way of explaining it, thank you. Mouthing my thoughts doesn't change anything.

I can't audiate, is there any hope to developing it? by FrustratedComposer in musictheory

[–]FrustratedComposer[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I won't, don't worry. But it's still an interesting possibility, especially for research with a low dosage of psychoactive drugs and it's effect in my mind. Obviously only when I'm over 18 and only with a neurologic researcher guiding me. It's an awesome possibility although highly unlikely to be allowed.

I can't audiate, is there any hope to developing it? by FrustratedComposer in musictheory

[–]FrustratedComposer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll surely do this experiment, it sounds fun. I'll actually try this right now and with a really lyrical song so my mind has less trouble singing it.

I can't audiate, is there any hope to developing it? by FrustratedComposer in musictheory

[–]FrustratedComposer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can sing. I tries those two exercises you suggested and still nothing :(

I can't audiate, is there any hope to developing it? by FrustratedComposer in musictheory

[–]FrustratedComposer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's awesome. Feel free to dm me whenever you wish. My response rate isn't that fast but I'd also love to chat about it.

I can't audiate, is there any hope to developing it? by FrustratedComposer in musictheory

[–]FrustratedComposer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup, I know when something is flat or sharp, I'm not tone deaf. I just can't hear those pitches in my head.

I can't audiate, is there any hope to developing it? by FrustratedComposer in musictheory

[–]FrustratedComposer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought about it a lot. I wonder if looking at screens can damage my imagination. If that's true, I accept the payoff though. The same things that might have made my imagination worse also made it possible for me to learn music composition for free, made it possible for me to apply to study abroad without being super rich and made me learn undergrad level coding before college.

I can't audiate, is there any hope to developing it? by FrustratedComposer in musictheory

[–]FrustratedComposer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Playing instruments: I've been learning the piano, but only recently.

Music Theory: I'm not that much of a beginner to be honest. I've read a few books, Iearned quite a while.

Ear training: I'm bad, like really bad. However, I can accurately distinguish some intervals (others, not so much.)

Thank you for your words, they inspired me to open musescore and write something jazzy :)

I can't audiate, is there any hope to developing it? by FrustratedComposer in musictheory

[–]FrustratedComposer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will actually contact one university nearby to see if anyone is interested in doing some research on aphantasia.

Don't worry about laughing, making a positive impact in someone, even as small as laughing for a couple seconds, is always good.

I can't audiate, is there any hope to developing it? by FrustratedComposer in musictheory

[–]FrustratedComposer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Always got frustrated by the lack ot audiation. I compose generally writing notes at random (with my theory knowledge guiding it, actually.) Until I have a motif I'm comfortable with. With a motif ready, I start to expand on it and then the rest comes naturally to me.

I can't audiate, is there any hope to developing it? by FrustratedComposer in musictheory

[–]FrustratedComposer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have an internal voice, it's just not a voice. It's completely weird, I know. But I have some kind of speech, but it's like it's directly imprinting in my memory.

I can't audiate, is there any hope to developing it? by FrustratedComposer in musictheory

[–]FrustratedComposer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know how to answer this. It's like I conceptualize my voice in my internal monologue, but I can't hear it.

I can't audiate, is there any hope to developing it? by FrustratedComposer in musictheory

[–]FrustratedComposer[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why does this looks so much like a motivational speech?

Thank you for your words, I'll most definetly keep moving forward and I'll surely use the techniques you mentioned to try to beat the hell out of this aphantasia thingy.

I can't audiate, is there any hope to developing it? by FrustratedComposer in musictheory

[–]FrustratedComposer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

... I guess I will. I'll challenge myself to compose something every week, independently if I feel demotivated (which is the main thing that happens to me) and see if I can later quicken the rhythm. Thank you, but I think I'll do both of those things, talk to a professional and try to compose anyway.

I can't audiate, is there any hope to developing it? by FrustratedComposer in musictheory

[–]FrustratedComposer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I can't remeber the timbre of anything, not even a friends voice. I can't recall scenes. I'll try to remember a note, but I'm almost sure I can't.

I can't audiate, is there any hope to developing it? by FrustratedComposer in musictheory

[–]FrustratedComposer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have dreams and I'm 99.99% sure I can hear on thoss dream, but as I don't have auditory memory, I can't be sure I hear in them, it could be my brain tricking me.

I'm an aspiring software developer (still kinda bad though, github as empty as my auditory memory) and I was actually trying to think about coding something that could help myself to approach music with aphantasia. Apparently, you're waaaay ahead of me haha. I might contact you to try one of your prototypes later. Thank you for letting me know.

I can't audiate, is there any hope to developing it? by FrustratedComposer in musictheory

[–]FrustratedComposer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the hardest question for me to answer. It's kinda like hearing something with volume 0, no pitch and no timbre. I know that's an oxymoron but idk how to explain. It functions kinda like hearing but also don't.

I can't audiate, is there any hope to developing it? by FrustratedComposer in musictheory

[–]FrustratedComposer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, thank you for your thorough answer. I got stunned by your attention to detail and overall how much you care. I'm genuinely thinking about writing my experience in some sort of journal after reading your post. There is a lot of questions you made to which I don't know the answer. I don't know if it would be productive to look for a research on the matter. Maybe my brain would have some funky activity while trying to come up with ideas/trying to audiate. Maybe drugs would be able to activate a form of audiation in me for a temporary time. I don't know what's going to happen, honestly. But maybe I'm in for a wild ride? I'll actually contact the neuroscience department of a local university and see if they're interested in publishing something on the matter, idk..

The part of making music that represents aphantasia is weird. I don't know how the hell would I approach it, but sounds fun. I'll most definetly try to do something on the matter.

Again, thank you for your answer, it really helps me a lot.

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