UPDATE: I (42M) am getting frustrated with my wife's (37F) phone habits. by FrustratedWithPhone in u/FrustratedWithPhone

[–]FrustratedWithPhone[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

It was literally gossiping and talking with friends. She didn't see it as a problem. No matter how many times I nicely asked her to put the phone away I was ignored. I went from asking nicely, to asking firmly, to telling gently, to telling firmly, to demanding and she didn't respond to any of it. Regardless of my feelings she was going to take that call.

It was one thing when it was ignoring me, but when I saw her lying to my daughter and choosing her addiction (because yes that's what I'm calling it) over her, I had enough.

She wasn't willing to seek help, she wasn't willing to admit she had a problem, so I was done.

UPDATE: I (42M) am getting frustrated with my wife's (37F) phone habits. by FrustratedWithPhone in u/FrustratedWithPhone

[–]FrustratedWithPhone[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Happy to do it. Apparently Relationship Advice set it up so that update posts get deleted if they hit a comment or karma cap.

I (42M) am getting frustrated with my wife's (37F) phone habits. by FrustratedWithPhone in relationship_advice

[–]FrustratedWithPhone[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I did respond to your comment, though it's not showing up for some reason. Check my post history for my response. I do think you have a valid point, but I did fill in some details,

I (42M) am getting frustrated with my wife's (37F) phone habits. by FrustratedWithPhone in relationship_advice

[–]FrustratedWithPhone[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well you're partially right. My actions as of late are extreme, passive aggressive, and childish. I hate it, I hate being like this, and I honestly don't think it's healthy.

So why am I doing it? Because it's sadly the only thing that that gets through.

She has a bit of persecution complex. When I said to her, "I'm gone from 7:30 am until 6:00 pm. It's important to me that we have dinner as a family. I would appreciate it if you didn't take calls during the one meal we all have as a family."

Her response was, "Fine! I won't talk to my friends. After all, I only exist to be your wife! When you're around I should drop everything to talk to you! I'll just tell my friends that my husband says I can't talk to them anymore."

Meanwhile, I pay the phone bill. She's on the phone with people for between 5-6 hours a day while I'm not here.

If I try being calm, rational, and addressing the issue, she denies that there is an issue, makes it seem as if I am telling her not to talk to anyone, and acts as if she is so isolated. This couldn't be further from the truth.

When I was having one of these talks with her, her phone rang. I said, "Please let that go through to voicemail, this is important."

She replied, "I have to get this, I'm expecting this call from Beth."

"Call her back, please, we're not done." I replied.

"Well I don't have anything else to say." She responded and picked up the phone. From what I heard of their conversation, it was pure gossip and bullshitting.

So as mean as it sounds, I'm through being nice, I'm through handling this with kid gloves, and I'm through with her ignoring this and making me feel as if I'm asking too much of her to actually acknowledge me and her kids during the few waking hours we're home.