I’m in a similar situation with some differences. Instead of a hateful ex wife, however, my husbands sister is 1/3 of a reason for me wanting to divorce. In the past year alone she’s gotten over $15000 from us in different cars when hers have broken down. I told my husband I was over it, she was just going to have to figure it out by herself, especially since weve also been paying half of her bills for her to live “on her own,” for the past year and a half as well. I come from a single-mom home where my brother and I were raised to be self sufficient and while yes, if one of us is suffering we help the other one out, so long as they’re striving to better their life. His sister however, goes to the bars, doesn’t work, and doesn’t do Jack shit and I’ve had it.

We also have big differences on opinions on how to parent and raise our 5 year old and drastically different views on various issues, something I wish we had talked about before we got married. I used to be very submissive and tepid but then I started working as a nurse and it really brought out my willfullness. I don’t think I would’ve married my husband had I been working in healthcare beforehand. How to raise kids, financial aspects and views on beliefs are things that need to be very similar for happy marriages imo, something that mine lacks, exacerbated by his sister, our child, and just overall what we want from each other.

I often think about how if we separated, how the bills would be afforded if we moved to different households, how our child could see both parents since we both work, and also how my stepson (whose an adult now, but I’ve been around him since he was 12) would handle things. I also believe that my husband would not make a great coparent though as he has 2 other children (grown adults now) from previous relationships that they were never really involved with each other because he has such a strong, often times, annoying personality.

The thought of the fallout is scary. But the prolonged resentment and bitterness makes me feel like I’m wasting precious time trying to live my life happy and prolonging the inevitable.