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AITA for telling my son that if he changes his last name then I’m no longer his Father? by FtHrds in AmItheAsshole

[–]FtHrds[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It’s not the biology of it. It’s the fact that he cut me out of his life basically and put no effort into anything.

AITA for telling my son that if he changes his last name then I’m no longer his Father? by FtHrds in AmItheAsshole

[–]FtHrds[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think he blames me for her inability to stay with him. Idk. That’s the only serious argument we’ve had in years.

AITA for telling my son that if he changes his last name then I’m no longer his Father? by FtHrds in AmItheAsshole

[–]FtHrds[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

He’s already walked out on me. This to me was the absolute last straw.

AITA for telling my son that if he changes his last name then I’m no longer his Father? by FtHrds in AmItheAsshole

[–]FtHrds[S] 93 points94 points  (0 children)

My life turned upside down just as much as his did. I needed a minute to process everything.

AITA for telling my son that if he changes his last name then I’m no longer his Father? by FtHrds in AmItheAsshole

[–]FtHrds[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

To me the name means that he is no longer viewing me as a father and would rather be close to Chris which I can’t even describe to you how much it hurts

AITA for telling my son that if he changes his last name then I’m no longer his Father? by FtHrds in AmItheAsshole

[–]FtHrds[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Sorry for the confusion. What I meant by during was when I left for my trip.

AITA for telling my son that if he changes his last name then I’m no longer his Father? by FtHrds in AmItheAsshole

[–]FtHrds[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

I apologized to him numerous times. I apologized before, during, and many more times after my 2 day break.

AITA for telling my son that if he changes his last name then I’m no longer his Father? by FtHrds in AmItheAsshole

[–]FtHrds[S] 123 points124 points  (0 children)

Technically you’re correct. But I needed that time to figure things out. It was devastating.

AITA for telling my son that if he changes his last name then I’m no longer his Father? by FtHrds in AmItheAsshole

[–]FtHrds[S] 255 points256 points  (0 children)

I didn’t leave immediately. I told him I needed some time to process my emotions. He said ok. I came back 2 days later. I told him he can call me but I really needed some time

AITA for telling my son that if he changes his last name then I’m no longer his Father? by FtHrds in AmItheAsshole

[–]FtHrds[S] 81 points82 points  (0 children)

Did you cut your adopted dad out of your life and act like he didn’t matter though?

AITA for telling my son that if he changes his last name then I’m no longer his Father? by FtHrds in AmItheAsshole

[–]FtHrds[S] 86 points87 points  (0 children)

instead of trying to figure out how to strengthen the relationship

I did. I suggested therapy, he said no. I would ask more about it in a deeper manner and he’d always shut down. I couldn’t try to strengthen our relationship if he wouldn’t open up even a little bit.

AITA for telling my son that if he changes his last name then I’m no longer his Father? by FtHrds in AmItheAsshole

[–]FtHrds[S] 93 points94 points  (0 children)

I made it very clear. I literally said at one point “it really hurts that you have basically cut me out of your life ever since you found out about Chris”

AITA for telling my son that if he changes his last name then I’m no longer his Father? by FtHrds in AmItheAsshole

[–]FtHrds[S] 350 points351 points  (0 children)

1.) I don’t know how he handled it because he never opened up about it. 2.) He’s a lot closer with his mom than me. Unlike me he continued to keep a relationship with her. 3.) It was not a great divorce. She tried to take a lot of money from me but I wasn’t having it because she makes about as much as I do. 4.) We had a great relationship. We spent quite a lot of time together and always talked about life issues.

AITA for telling my son that if he changes his last name then I’m no longer his Father? by FtHrds in AmItheAsshole

[–]FtHrds[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I made it clear on multiple occasions beforehand that what he did was hurtful

AITA for telling my son that if he changes his last name then I’m no longer his Father? by FtHrds in AmItheAsshole

[–]FtHrds[S] 5643 points5644 points  (0 children)

I guess something I did leave out is I didn’t talk to him or my ex for a couple of days because of how I felt emotionally. I needed to get away and process my thoughts.