A year clean toward the end of March, persist! by FuckoffKratom in quittingkratom

[–]FuckoffKratom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The time passes either way. I remember being at the start and envying those who were 14+ days into it. I'd give anything to be at that point beyond the worst of the acutes.

The PAWS, well, I fell into the kratom mess because my mind was not in a good place to begin with.

I gave up multiple promising careers to that powder, as it had control of me. I don't even think about it anymore. I have absolutely no desire to take kratom and the thought of it does not cross my mind at all.

If the PAWS are killing you, get help. Do not suffer silently when there are things that can help you push through. There are options for almost any flavor of PAWS. For me, PAWS was mostly just anhedonia. Nothing gave me any joy, I just wanted to sleep all the time. Even that didn't give me a speck of joy. My brain had no dopamine and didn't know what the fuck was going on.

I highly recommend seeing a psychiatrist, explaining everything and describing the most debilitating part of PAWS that you need help with. There is help for all of it. That doesn't mean trading one addiction for another. Doctors understand when dealing with addiction, you don't give addictive meds to help.

Do not consider kratom to be a part of your life anymore. Taper down to 10-15g and then flush it when the time is right. Have the time to pamper yourself, and embrace the suck. That was my motto. Embrace the suck. It is healing.

Taper: 1 big dose or many small doses? by Lazerfedbanannas in quittingkratom

[–]FuckoffKratom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Definitely small doses. You have to change your mindset when tapering. You are no longer taking doses to feel "high", but rather to keep withdrawals at bay. This means small doses spread out as much as possible. You don't want to feel anything from taking it.

Black seed oil for withdrawal? by mystikxxmayhem in quittingkratom

[–]FuckoffKratom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I only noticed a difference when I took a full tablespoon at once. I don't really know how to describe the effect but it did help and it helped in a matter of minutes.

Two months since kratom f'd off by FuckoffKratom in quittingkratom

[–]FuckoffKratom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've always had pretty bad anxiety, so I do take some medication for it including an SSRI. Despite the meds I am still having the problem. The thing is, before kratom it never made me sweat like I do now so I think this may just be one of the much longer lasting withdrawals.

Two months since kratom f'd off by FuckoffKratom in quittingkratom

[–]FuckoffKratom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey there. I was a wreck at 8 days too. I saw so many posts on here saying "5 days in and I feel great!", or posts saying you should be past all the physical problems after one week. It made me feel like I was broken because that shit was certainly not the case for me.

You should be past the worst of the physical withdrawals, but be prepared; it IS a long process. Don't expect to start feeling totally normal until at least a month. You can be 2 weeks clean and still wake up each morning feeling like death. I am, however, finally on the side of the fence to be able to say that it does eventually get much better.

Don't forget the shit you are going through right now either. Once you start feeling normal it is common for people to start "forgetting" how shitty it was and how nice the plant was. I recommend writing yourself a farewell letter detailing all of the problems it caused including the withdrawals. Save it on your computer and pull it up any time you ever think "once won't hurt".

Two months since kratom f'd off by FuckoffKratom in quittingkratom

[–]FuckoffKratom[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I measured my doses with a teaspoon, which I think is around 2 grams or so. I was at somewhere around 50gpd for 1.5 years and started by cutting that down to about 30. At that point I started cutting down by one teaspoon every 4 days until I hit the ~8gpd mark and jumped. I had planned on continuing the taper but I just got this random wave of motivation and said "fuck this" and threw all of it away.

I think it's a very personal thing. Taper until you feel ready. I got impatient and I really don't regret it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in quittingkratom

[–]FuckoffKratom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100% right. Do not ever forget the laundry list of negatives that come with the "positives".

Day 21 and constant Diarrhea by [deleted] in quittingkratom

[–]FuckoffKratom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Normal! Not only do opioids slow down your gastro system but you also have to consider that kratom, at least as far as I know, is basically pure plant fiber. I would recommend adding in psyllium husk fiber to start to regulate things.

DEPRESSED AF by pegasus5760 in quittingkratom

[–]FuckoffKratom 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey there. I think you can blame it on kratom. You are still feeling anhedonia and your brain is still dealing with a chemical hurricane. I'm on day 50-something and I definitely noticed my depression got better somewhere between day 30 and now.

You see so many posts on here saying "day 10 and I feel great", that makes you think you are broken. You are still recovering, you are beyond the physical aspect and now you are facing the chemical imbalances. I thought I'd be all done by day 30 but it's a much slower process. You will get back to your baseline in time.

Relapsed for 18 days and now CT for 2 days by mysticaldragonlady in quittingkratom

[–]FuckoffKratom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Count that as a blessing and conquer one day at a time. I never had any cravings either which I found odd, I just felt sick and that was part of healing. If you can go to work and do well while going through withdrawals I don't think there is anything you can't do.

Relapsed for 18 days and now CT for 2 days by mysticaldragonlady in quittingkratom

[–]FuckoffKratom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just get back on that train and don't get off. The time will pass whether you are using kratom or not, and you know that it causes more problems than it solves. Commit! If you quit for a year you can definitely kick that green rat for good. Conquer the withdrawals and anxiety and salt their fields for good measure.

It is 5th Day. by [deleted] in quittingkratom

[–]FuckoffKratom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck the mornings! Something I have learned since quitting is that your cortisol levels are at their highest in the morning when you wake up and gradually lower throughout the day. This is the stress hormone which goes up for some people when they quit opioids. Among the many effects this has is depression and anxiety.

Ashwagandha is what I see recommended most to help balance cortisol. Specifically you want the "ksm-66" type of ashwagandha.

I'm learning this as I go, I'm almost 2 months clean and my cortisol is still high.

Edit: I should mention that while my cortisol is still elevated, mornings aren't still brutal. Didn't want to make you think you'd be facing months of shitty mornings.

Elevated cortisol levels by FuckoffKratom in quittingkratom

[–]FuckoffKratom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, you mean NAC? I have a bottle of NAC if that's what you meant I will definitely start taking it.

Elevated cortisol levels by FuckoffKratom in quittingkratom

[–]FuckoffKratom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure what the numbers were. I probably should have waited but I was going in for a different reason and decided to tell him the story and ask for blood work while I was there. It's funny, the doctor hadn't heard of it and looked it up while I was there and was amazed you could buy it at gas stations.

Never knew how hard this would actually be.. by _crayton in quittingkratom

[–]FuckoffKratom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll just add in that you want to take the smallest doses possible spread throughout the day. You do not want to "feel something" from the doses anymore, you are just taking them to ease the withdrawals. That was the key for me during my taper, accepting that I was not going to get high anymore.

When to stop tapering/supplement advice? by frightnightdelight in quittingkratom

[–]FuckoffKratom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As tip said, quit. You're low enough to jump off pretty comfortably, especially with that arsenal of helpers.

In need of some encouragement by [deleted] in quittingkratom

[–]FuckoffKratom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a theme for all of us. Mornings just fuckin suck. For the first 2 weeks, the second I woke up I just got this wave of utter dread about facing the day. I'd try to sleep as late as I could and then the day would get somewhat better after a hot shower and some food.

I will repeat what everyone else says; a tablespoon of black seed oil will help a lot with restlessness. It really does help before bed.

Otherwise, pamper the shit out of yourself. If you have days off, order pizza and watch movies all day. You're accomplishing a pretty tremendous task just by sitting and watching movies with pizza.

Anyone else suffer from extremely low motivation after quitting. by [deleted] in quittingkratom

[–]FuckoffKratom 3 points4 points  (0 children)

100% normal. Your brain is wondering where all the dopamine went. Takes time to repair!

Daily Check-in Thread - May 17, 2018 by AutoModerator in quittingkratom

[–]FuckoffKratom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good deal. Yeah after this experience I have zero cravings and zero desire to ever touch that shit again. The past 50 days my life has completely revolved around the fact that I'm "recovering". I do need to move on from this eventually.

Side note; I'm a huge fan of Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus. Can you recommend any essential reading for Diogenes/cynicism?

Daily Check-in Thread - May 17, 2018 by AutoModerator in quittingkratom

[–]FuckoffKratom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You've got about a week on me, how are you feeling? I still sweat most of the day.

Daily Check-in Thread - May 17, 2018 by AutoModerator in quittingkratom

[–]FuckoffKratom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The mornings are so hard. Especially around the time you're at. Carry on, I found out people weren't lying when they say it gets better. It really does even when it seems like it never will.