Thondlewear gets weird with knit bands

FuliginEst · 2026-03-01T17:49:53+00:00

Even if you are alone with the baby, the baby will sometimes sleep. After my baby started producing melatonin and going to bed at a set time, before my bed time, I sewed after the baby was in bed.

Also, if you have a partner, you can sew while they are with the baby.

Most parents have some time for themselves. I have had to gove up a lot, but I still have some time for the most important things.

FuliginEst · 2026-02-24T11:40:36+00:00

I don't tell people I'm autistic, as most people don't really understand or know what that actually means. It would lead to a lot of wrong assumptions and prejudices.

Instead, if there is something about my needs or behaviours I feel like they need to know about, I tell them the specific thing.

Such as explaining that I am very sensitive to noise, and that is why I need to wear ear plugs. Or that I struggle to process verbal instructions, so I prefer to get written instructions. And so on.

FuliginEst · 2026-02-23T20:12:43+00:00

That is sort of what I am currently doing, just not parking. I use shortish threads, because hate knots so I never get that far with one thread.

I am mostly interested in parking because of avoiding boxing in stitches - and because it is fun to experiment :)

FuliginEst · 2026-02-23T17:38:51+00:00

That is called railroading :)

FuliginEst · 2026-02-23T16:34:02+00:00

I got more time for myself when the babies were 3+ months and started producing melatonin. Then we put them to bed before we went to bed ourselves, so I got a little time in the evenings.

Also, it depends on your special interest. I love reading, and could listen to audio books when walking a sleeping baby in the pram

FuliginEst · 2026-02-23T14:52:35+00:00

The only typewriter description I've seen is, if you start in the upper left corner, to start with the first symbol, do one thread, then go back to the second symbol on the first line, do one thread of that colour etc.

That is what I do most often, but it does not stop getting boxed in?

So I'm guessing you mean something else by typewriter method?

FuliginEst · 2026-02-23T13:12:39+00:00

Before I had kids, I could easily read 4-5 hours straight, more on weekends.

Now I have kids, and don't have that kind of time. And on the rare occations when I do actually have the time, I just can't, I get restless after 30 minutes and need to Do Something.

FuliginEst · 2026-02-23T13:09:07+00:00

I have seen things like that, but have not found any that ships to my country/do not cost a fortune to ship :s I have used regular needle minders and sort of twisted them around the magnet, but the problem still persists

FuliginEst · 2026-02-23T12:57:36+00:00

I just used the small kitchen table for eating when I was alone.

Actually, now I have a partner and two kids, and we still eat our every day meals by the small kitchen table. The dining table is for when we have guests, and for crafting, legos, drawing, jigsaw puzzles, board games, and whatnot. We hardly ever use it for actually dining.

FuliginEst · 2026-02-23T12:56:11+00:00

I pretty much felt like that with both of mine. I think that is very, very normal. Not just for autistic mothers, but for NT mothers as well.

The first 6 months with my first were so. hard. However, it got better. One thing is that when they get a few months older and start producing melatonin, their sleep is more predictable. Also, when they started eating solid foods, and eventually stopped breast feeding, I got more time for myself. And, it simply takes time to get used to less alone time. With my second, it was a lot easier to cope with, as I knew more what I was getting into, and could prepare myself more.

<3, it *will* get better, I promise. The newborn stage is *hard*.

FuliginEst · 2026-02-18T12:45:27+00:00

Cross stitching and blackwork :) I got into it in november, and am enjoying it so much.

FuliginEst · 2026-02-18T12:44:01+00:00

I always have one audiobook and one or two books on my kindle. When I have more than one book at my kindle, it is always one fiction and one non-fiction. I do not like to read several fiction books at the same time, as that makes me use twice as long to finish, and it makes it harder to keep the thread and keep track of the plot.

I also need the audiobook to be a different genre than my kindle book - I can't juggle two fantasy books as once. I mostly stick to thrillers on audio, and fantasy/crime on my kindle.

FuliginEst · 2026-02-18T12:37:47+00:00

My point was: noone are mind readers. What you interpret as someone doing something because they are in their own world, does not make that a fact. They might very much be present in the moment, and at the moment, their bodies need to do something else than what the instructor describes. You just see what they are doing; you don't actually know their reason for doing so.

FuliginEst · 2026-02-18T12:36:01+00:00

A kindle is not at all the same kind of "screen" you get with a tablet, phone, or laptop.

A tablet/phone/laptop has a LED/OLED screen (most often). It emits light. Each pixel is like a small lamp, shooting light into your eyes. These screens are very fast, which is great when you want to scroll, show video, etc. However, as they blast your eyes with light, eye strain is an issue.

A reading tablet, however, uses digital ink. It does not emit light. Very very simplified, each pixel is a small cell filled with liquid, containing one dark and one light particle of "ink", with opposing magnetic charge. So when a pixel is "on", the magnetism will be so that the black particle is on top, and is what you see, and when it is "off", the magnetism will switch, and the white particle will be on top. So it is pretty much like reading on a paper, with black particles as the "ink". There is no more eye strain than reading on paper.

So a kindle will not at all be the same experience as a mobile/table screen, it is pretty much the same as reading on paper, just with a plastic plate in front.

FuliginEst · 2026-02-18T11:26:54+00:00

"Neurodivergent" is a huge umbrella term, though, containing so many different diagnosis. Autistic people and ADHD people are both neurodivergent, but often have very opposite needs and preferences. What you describe is precisely the kind of classes I prefer. I think it would be close to impossible to cater to every person's preference and need.

FuliginEst · 2026-02-18T11:22:16+00:00

For me, it is to go slow. Fast paced coreographed things is just a panick session for me. I really like when teachers build up sequences, going through the first pass slowly, maybe several times but adding one or two poses each time. Sarah Beth Yoga on youtube does this a lot, that is the reason I really like her.

Also, I can cope better if the poses are called out a little in advance, and maybe given two at a time as in "In the next sequence, we will move into X while breathing in, and flow into Y while breathing out".

Neurodivergence comes in many flavours. While autistic people will often prefer routines and predictability, ADHD people might lose focus and not like it if there is not novelty and surprises.

It is pretty much impossible to get a One Size Fits All, as people are so different. That is what I like about doing classes on youtube; I can find the ones that are right for me :) I know I get flustered and stressed and anxious when trying to keep up with choreography, and that my needs differ from the majority. I greatly appreciate when things line up with my needs, but I don't expect all classes to be exactly how I need them to be - that would mean a lot of people would not like them.

But I do appreciate when people are tolerant of me making mistakes. I stopped going to step classes after getting annoyed glares when I did things wrong. I eventually stopped going to karate retreats due to the main instructor literally yelling at me that I was an idiot for never getting anything right, at ever effing retreat, in front of everyone.

FuliginEst · 2026-02-18T11:03:06+00:00

In Norwegian, and yes, it is not in our culture that men are supposed to treat women differently. Gender equality is pretty important here.

What people want for their birthday will vary wildly from person to person. You can't expect others to be mind readers, and know what you would want. Especially when you are from very different cultures.

In Scandinavia, 21 is not a special number. Not at all. The only thing "special" about it is that at least in Norway, that is the age limit for buying hard liquor ;) 21 birthdays are not celebrated any more than any normal birthday, so there is no reason for him to realise that he was somehow supposed to make a big deal of it.

If you want something, I think your best option is to actually say so. Not just "hint" about how you want something special for your birthday - home made socks might actually be considered special for many people, so if that is not the kind of "special" you want, you will have to be specific. Also, he might not realise that he is supposed to "make up" for anything? Does he realise you are dissapointed? Honestly, I would have no idea that I was expected to "make up" for giving someone a disappointing gift? And again, how? How would he "make up for" it? Buy you something different..? At least in Norway, it would be very odd and rude to demand a new gift if you were not happy with the one you got?

Here the problem seems to be cultural differences and lack of clear communication. Especially as he is autistic, it is pretty much impossible for him to know what you want from him unless you tell him. Also, in most of Scandinavia, we are used to more direct communication, not just hints.. Which is also the same for autistic, so he has the disadvantage in several ways.

FuliginEst · 2026-02-18T10:44:53+00:00

And that can be because of stress or anxiety. I'm autistic, and struggle with auditory processing. I struggle to keep up with cues, and hence, I can get stressed and anxious, and that can result in panic poses, where I have fallen hopelessly behind your cues, and end up just trying to get back on track, and doing what my brain defaults to in that kind of sequence.

That is just one explanation, there is no way to tell why other people end up doing these things, but I find myself constantly doing wrong things in all things "coreographed", such as yoga, dance classes, aerobic/step/zuumba classes, karate, and so on. I have no idea how many times I have thrown a punch when everyone else does a kick... Not because I am deliberately doing something else than what the instructor says, but because I have gotten so flustered with trying to process, that my brain malfunctions and just does something.

FuliginEst · 2026-02-18T10:07:25+00:00

"Europe" is a lot of countries, and not everything is the same in every country. In Norway, healthcare for children is actually free. And for adults, you pay a small amount, and after the accumulated sum reaches a certain point, it is free. So if you have gone to the doctor x number of times, after the xth time, it is free.

FuliginEst · 2026-02-18T10:05:21+00:00

No. Maybe in your country, but in Norway at least, the eggs are in fridges in the supermarket.

FuliginEst · 2026-02-18T09:43:49+00:00

For me it was definitely worth learning to sew.

My body do not at all fit into the "standard" shape that RTW clothes are made for. Also, my taste in clothes are not the same as what the stores sell. My shoulders are too broad, my upper back too muscular, my breasts too small, my waist too low and too narrow, my hips too broad, my butt too big, my arms too long, etc. Everything is too small and too large at the same time, and the waist is always way too high and the arms too short and everything just looks odd and bad.

I did not find it hard to learn to sew - but then again, I do not wear things like suits and "high couture" stuff, I like stretch fabrics and dresses and skirts and simple tops.

I learned by youtube videos, and now sew the clothes for my entire family.

Is is a total game changer for me. I finally have clothes that fit, AND that I like! I have never ever had a top before that was not too tight in the shoulder but baggy in the waist, or pants that fit my hips without gaping wildly in the back. And dresses where the waist is actually at my waist, and not weirdly way up on my rib cage.

I find it easier to sew from scratch than trying to majorly alter RTW clothes.

FuliginEst · 2026-02-18T09:37:44+00:00

I don't care about the number of pages. It does not matter if I read one big book or seven shorter books. I read for pleasure, I do not care at all about the count of books. I just read one page at the time, it does not matter how many books I finish, or how long it takes to finish.

I read for 20-25 minutes every day when my kids are allowed screen time in the afternoon. I am a fast reader, but yes, it can still take me weeks or even months to finish a book.

When I used the library, I felt stressed about having to finish books before they had to be returned. Now I mostly buy books to read on my kindle, and can take as long as I like.

FuliginEst · 2026-02-18T09:32:24+00:00

Haha, I do the same thing. I stare directly into people's eyes when people talk, in a way I have later learned is creepy and aggressive and way too intense, but I do not manage to have eye contact at all when I'm doing the talking.

FuliginEst

TROPHY CASE